More Than You Know
by HBQ100
Summary: Set three years after the end of Season 3.  Tommy went to Asia and never came back.  Jude stayed in Toronto and grew up.  Thrown together once again, they must figure out if they are destined to be just friends or something more.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Takes place three years after Season 3. Jude stayed in Toronto and Tommy left for Asia. Past events will be explained throughout the current timeline of the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Here We Go Again**

"He's getting a divorce," Sadie blurted out. She'd held in the news for over two hours and it had almost killed her! She was sitting with her sister in the small breakfast area off the kitchen in their old house, now Sadie and Kwest's house.

Jude arched an eyebrow with interest. She had no idea who her sister was referring to, but she could recognize good gossip potential when she heard it. She waited patiently for Sadie to continue.

Sadie slowly took a sip of coffee, suddenly a little hesitant to tell Jude the rest. Well hell, she'd brought it up. "Tom. Tom's getting a divorce."

Jude's eyebrow fell back into place; she was no longer interested. "Well, this marriage lasted longer than the first one. He's been with Karen for almost two years. That's got to be a record for Quincy."

Sadie leaned across the table, grasping one of Jude's hands in hers. "I know you don't like to talk about him -"

"I never said that," Jude said as she yanked back her hand. She saw pity in her sister's eyes and it angered her. "I swear. You and Kwest. Both of you try to make more out of it than it is. He's Kwest's best friend, his name's going to come up once in a while. I've never stopped either of you from talking about him."

Sadie sat back in her chair cradling her coffee cup. "The last time Kwest brought up his name, you nearly took his head off."

"Your husband has a big mouth," Jude grumbled. She rubbed her temple, trying to stave-off the approaching headache. "He was in amateur psych mode, trying to analyze me again. He happened to be completely wrong, and I told him to back-off."

Sadie's voice was barely above a whisper, "But you stopped singing."

It took Jude a minute to make the connection, then she rolled her eyes. "Which has nothing to do with Tom Quincy," she said, slowly enunciating each word for effect. "I refused to make another album for G-Major, and since they wouldn't let me out of my contract, I didn't have any other choice but to stop singing. You know that!"

Sadie tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at her sister. That excuse only worked for so long. "Your contract ran out seven months ago. You write songs for other people to sing, and you produce other people's music, but you haven't started a new album yet. That's not right, Jude."

"And that's not you talking; that's Kwest," Jude countered. She loved the fact that Kwest cared about her, worried about her, but he'd begun ragging her about getting back into the studio and now he'd shanghaied her sister into his cause. "Sades, I never wanted to be a pop star. I've always, _always_ said I'm a songwriter first and foremost. I love writing, and I have no problem with other people singing my songs. My music's still out there, that's the important part. I'll record when I'm ready, on my timetable, on my terms. Right now, writing and producing are all I want." She saw the pity still lingering in Sadie's expression. "Stop listening to your husband! This has nothing to do with Quincy! That's been over for years. Why are you even bringing it up?"

"He's moving back." Jude sat up straight in her chair with surprise, and Sadie nodded. "As soon as Karen files for divorce, he's quitting his job and moving back to Toronto."

The old thrill ran through Jude's system for a second, then disappeared as quickly as it came. She relaxed once again. "Quitting? More like he's getting fired. That's what happens when you marry the boss's daughter. Your job is tied to your relationship."

"He says he's quitting, but you're probably right," Sadie conceded. "Whatever the circumstances, he's going to be back here, and Kwest thinks he should..." Sadie scrunched up her face, knowing Jude wasn't going to like this. "Well, we _do_ need another producer."

Jude barked out a laugh. "Quincy working at EastPhy?! Has Kwest lost his mind?"

Sadie chose to ignore her sister's outburst. "George Krause calls him all the time trying to lure him back to G-Major to produce the Instant Stars. Tom has always told him no, he doesn't want to go back there, not after everything, but he's going to need a job. We need another good producer. It's a win/win."

"That sounds reasonable," Jude said sincerely. "Present it that way to Jamie and see how far it gets you," she ended sarcastically.

"He'd do it if you asked," Sadie said quietly. She glanced up, saw Jude's mouth set in a hard line. "Jude, this is important! If you really don't care, if you're over Tom like you say you are, then why shouldn't he work for EastPhy? You always said he's a great producer, and we desperately need the help. How many producers have we cycled through in the past three years? Seven? Eight? We need to find someone permanent."

"Because when you're looking for stability, Tom Quincy is the first person you think of." Jude couldn't believe how unbelievable her uber-rational sister was being.

"He's changed, Jude." Jude shot her an incredulous look. "I know. I can't believe I'm saying it either, but he _has_ changed. He wants something permanent. And we need the help!" Sadie shook her head in exasperation. "Ever since McEntire quit, you and Kwest have been killing yourselves. The only time I see Kwest is at work; he never gets home before eleven. And you're worse than he is. You practically live there. You work every weekend, every night. If you're not at the studio, you're at a remote. I had to make an appointment to have breakfast with you!"

Jude had to admit Sadie was right. She and Kwest were burning themselves out. Mac had picked the worst possible time to leave. Four new artists, plus the fifteen they already carried, stretched out between two producers. They needed three full-time producers, and maybe even a fourth part-time to cover the independent artists that rented studio time. But Tom Quincy? "Sadie, I understand where you're coming from, but Jamie's never going to agree to it. And if by some miracle he did, do you think Quincy's gonna want to work for him? He has no respect for Jamie. It would be a disaster."

Sadie puffed up and went on the attack. "This has nothing to do with Jamie! _You _don't want to work with him! You're still in love with him!"

Sadie's outburst caught Jude off guard. "I am not in love with Tom Quincy!" Yep, there was the headache. "I was in love with him - I admit that - but it was three years ago. If I'd gone with him to Asia, things might be different. If he'd come back instead of moving to Chicago, things might be different. But that's not what happened. We're both happy with the decisions we made. Well, he might not be happy right now since he's getting a divorce, but he was happy. You saw him and Karen at your wedding. They made a great couple. I don't know what changed, and I feel sorry for him, but that's it."

"Well, I don't think you're happy," Sadie insisted. "I don't think you've been happy for a very long time."

"How can you say that?" Jude asked, a little hurt. "I've got family and friends and a career I love. There's nothing about my life I'd change. I like where I am, what I'm doing. So I haven't found the next great love of my life. I'm only twenty-one; I've got time." Reluctantly, her mind wandered to the past. "Quincy and I were a bad idea from the start. Everyone was right; I was way too young. I can see now what a disaster we would have been together. I couldn't have handled him. He had way too much baggage from past relationships. I need someone whose open and honest about his feelings. Quincy was never able to do either of those things." She circled back to the previous conversation. "Please, stop listening to Kwest. I'm not recording, because I don't know what I want to say yet. When I do, I'll be back in the studio. It has nothing to do with Tom. And as for him working at EastPhy, I could care less. Jamie's the problem, not me."

"Then talk to Jamie. Convince him to hire Tom." Jude sat shaking her head and Sadie let out a little scream of frustration. "Jude, I want to have a baby!"

Once again, Sadie had managed to completely confuse her. Jude looked at her helplessly. "Then have a baby. _What_ the _hell _does Quincy have to do with it?"

"We can't!" Sadie started to cry in frustration. "Kwest and I talked about it again last night. I don't want him missing doctor's appointments, and lamaze classes, and hell, at this rate, the birth of his first child because he has to be at the damn studio!" She tried to catch her breath around the tears. Jude hurried around the table and knelt down in front of her sister, catching both of Sadie's hands in hers. "I'm going to turn into a raving bitch, I just know it, with hormones and swelled ankles and midnight cravings. I don't want to go through it by myself! And I can't depend on you either! You and Kwest are the only family I have left, and I can't depend on either of you to be there for me!"

Jude wrapped her arms around Sadie and hugged her tight. She felt awful. This wasn't the first time they'd discussed kids, but it was the first time she saw how much Sadie really wanted them. And after what happened... The studio was crazy, and she knew Kwest didn't like working the extra hours anymore than she did, but Jude didn't realize the impact it was having on their marriage, their plans to start a family. "I get it. We need another producer." Sadie sniffled and nodded against Jude's shoulder. "I'll talk to Jamie about hiring someone. Give me another month or two to find -"

"No." Sadie pulled away from her. "No, Jude. I don't want to wait. Tom is perfect, and you know it. He's exactly what we need and he's available _now_. Talk to Jamie, please! I can't... I can't live like this anymore."

Jude sat back on her heels, not knowing what to say. She wanted to argue - oh how she wanted to argue. But Sadie's look of desperation quelled the urge. Tom Quincy working at Eastern Philosophy Records. How was she ever going to sell Jamie on the idea? "I'll talk to him. I'm not promising anything, but I'll talk to him."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"If the building was on fire with me trapped inside, and my only two choices were burning alive in horrible, unimaginable pain or letting Tom Quincy in the front door to rescue me, I'd choose death," Jamie stated flatly.

Jude scratched the side of her head. "Yeah, I sorta figured you say something like that." She'd spent the entire day trying to find the best way to broach the subject, finally deciding there was no best way. Jamie wasn't going to like it no matter how she put it. She'd caught him in his office before he left to get the inevitable over with. "Stop looking at me like that. This isn't my idea; this is all Sadie."

Jamie should have known. Jude would never come up with this on her own, but if Sadie asked... "What is she thinking?!"

"She's thinking she wants a baby." Jude told him about her early conversation with her sister, then continued. "The baby thing aside, Kwest and I can't keep working like we have been. You know that. We need another producer. We've gone through the best talent in Canada, and we can't find anyone who's willing to stick around. At least with Quincy, we know he won't quit to go to G-Major, it doesn't matter how much money they offer him. He's an ass, but he's a hard worker and he gets the job done. He knows what he's doing, especially when it comes to helping raw talent define their voice. And we need a producer who can hit the ground running. Kwest and I don't have time to train someone. The contacts Quincy's developed in the States could be of use to us too. We keep talking about wanting to make a big push into the US market; he could help with that."

"Wait a minute," Jamie interrupted her. "Paegan, you and I have talked about the US market. Sadie doesn't know about that." He eyed her suspiciously. "_You _want me to hire him."

Jude reluctantly nodded. "I spent all day coming up with reasons to persuade you, and I... sorta... persuaded myself." She hurried on before he could blow-up. "Jamie, this isn't sixteen year-old, starry-eyed Jude talking. You know I'm over him. Tom Quincy - bad boyfriend material. This is twenty-one year-old, business-minded, completely profession Jude talking. He's extremely qualified and extremely available. And if we don't find some way to get a little normalcy in the production schedule, my sister is going to go postal! She wants a baby _now_."

Jamie roughly ran his hand over his face. "I'm really going to have to thinking about this, aren't I? I mean..." He sighed heavily. "Fuck!"

Jude shrugged. "He could solve a lot of problems."

"He could create a lot of problems too," Jamie reminded her. "It took you a year to get over him, Jude. A year! He'll come in, and look at you the way he does, and you'll go all wonky, and then he'll turn around and break your heart. I can't watch you go through that again."

"Thank you for having so much faith in me," she said with an edge to her voice. Jude wondered how long it would take for the rest of the world to realize she was done with Tommy - no Tom. Tommy didn't exist. He was Tom Quincy, and he was some other woman's problem. "He was here for the wedding, remember? Did I go all wonky? No, I didn't. Was I jealous of his wife? No, I wasn't. I liked Karen. I thought the two of them were good together. How come everyone else is allowed to move on from bad relationships, but you, Sadie and Kwest don't think I can?"

Jamie studied her. She was serious; he knew that. She thought she was over Quincy, and god knew, he hoped she was right. It had been three years since she'd had any contact with the guy, accept for the week he was in town for Sadie's wedding. Of course, Jude hadn't spent a lot of time with him then, and when she did, his wife was around too. Plus, she'd been busy with her maid-of-honor duties, aka, keeping Sadie from driving everyone else nuts. Talk about bridezilla! But working with the guy every day? He wasn't sure she was up for that. He knew he wasn't. "What if I make finding a new producer my top priority? I'll push everything else aside. I'll call all our contacts. I'll even hire a recruiting firm. I knew you and Kwest were working hard, but I didn't realize it was getting to be a serious issue. Give me some time to fix it."

Jude shook her head. "When dad left, I promised him I'd take care of Sadie. She wants a baby, and I'm going to do everything I can to help her." She hated, absolutely hated what she was about to do. "I'm pulling rank."

"Jude, no!" Jamie pleaded with her.

"As co-owner of Eastern Philosophy Records, I'm telling you to hire Tom Quincy." She saw him wince at the 'executive order'. She wasn't happy about it herself. "I'm sorry, Jamie, but I have to put my family first. This is what Sadie wants. If it all goes to hell, I'll have no one to blame but myself."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

When Jude got home, it was close to midnight. Another late night in the studio. She had to admit, she'd be thrilled when Quincy started so she could make it home before dark at least once or twice a week. She opened the suicide door to her FJ Crusier. Sixty-five pounds of hair and fur came jumping out of the back seat. "Rocky, stay," she said as she pulled back on his leash. The brown eyed, black and white Siberian Husky dutifully sat, his tail wildly swishing back and forth on the bricks of the driveway. Jude absently rubbed his ears with one hand as she grabbed her purse and messenger bag of the floorboards with the other. "Good boy."

He was a housewarming present from her dad. No more than ten pounds when she got him, her father assured her he'd grow-up to be a big, intimidating dog. Protection against burglars and rapists and all the other horrible people Stuart was convinced were going to attack her when she'd moved out. Obviously, her dad hadn't done enough research. Huskies weren't aggressive dogs, not by nature. Rocky was protective, though. He was wary of new people, and he always managed to put himself between Jude and anyone he was unsure of. His silent stance and unwavering eyes giving off an 'I'm watching you' vibe. Walking him was a treat too. Kids constantly asked if he was a wolf, and adults were intrigued. More than once she'd heard, 'that's the most beautiful dog I've ever seen.' And he'd been the cutest pup; the black mask around his eyes reminding her of a raccoon. That's why she'd named him Rocky. Rocky Racoon, from The Beatles _White Album_. Who was she to interfere with a Harrison tradition? She gave the leash a quick jerk. "Come on, Rock." He immediately followed her.

She unlocked the back door and entered the passcode for her security system. Rocky barked once and Jude released him into the yard so he could do his thing before bed. He'd been with her at EastPhy all day, and she knew he wouldn't be happy until he'd inspected every inch of his outside domain. That, and he probably had to pee. She threw her keys and bags on the kitchen counter, picked up the phone to check for messages, then grabbed a bottle of water from the frig. She made a mental to-do list for the next day as she watched Rocky through the kitchen window.

Once he was done, she re-set the security system and locked up the house for the night. She climbed the two flights of stairs to the master bedroom, yawning as she went. Rocky proceeded her into the room, hopping up on the bed and making himself comfortable. Jude brushed her hand down his back as she passed by on the way to the walk-in closest. She smiled as she undressed.

She really did love her house. It was a three-story Victorian brown stone in The Annex of downtown Toronto. The neighborhood was quiet and beautiful. She was within walking distance to just about anything she could ever want, and she was close to work. Along with the kitchen, dining room and living room on the first floor, the house also had a parlor, which she'd converted into a media room. Originally, the second floor had three bedrooms and one bath, but she'd taken the smallest bedroom and split the space, making another bathroom and closets for the remaining two bedrooms. If she ever had guests, it would be perfect.

But it was her bedroom on the third floor that was her favorite part of the house. She'd opened the entire attic, making it into a suite. Bedroom, bath, closet, dressing area. It was her private retreat, and behind the hidden door at the back of her closet was her most private space. A recording studio a little smaller than the booths at work. She eyed the door, toying with the idea of working on the arrangement she hadn't quite finished the night before. Then she yawned again and realized she was too tired.

She shrugged into a old t-shirt and slipped into bed. No one knew about the studio. She hadn't told anyone, not even Sadie. It was Jude's secret. A difficult one to keep with all the renovations that had been done. She'd given multiple tours to friends and family over the five months it took to complete the house, but she'd managed to keep the room secret. It was her place away from all her problems.

Although Kwest thought she hadn't started her next album, she had. She'd began it in her private studio. At first, it was a necessity to hide. She couldn't perform or record until her contract with G-Major was up. Legally, she was still their artist. But the piece of paper Tom had given her with the rights to her catalog also made it possible for her to write new material and sell it to others to perform without G-Major consent. It was because of those publishing rights she was able to become a partner in EastPhy. But there were some songs she couldn't sell. Songs that were too personal to have others record. Songs she wasn't ready to share with the world. Songs that would raise too many questions she wasn't prepared to answer. When Jude moved into her house, she started recording those songs in secret.

She worked on them when she had time, not rushing any part of the creative process. She took things slow, perfecting every lyric, every line of music. It was the one place she was completely free to make mistakes and to delve into the past. She hadn't lied to Sadie. She loved her life, but that didn't mean she didn't sometimes regret the opportunities she missed. She was over Tom, but every once in a while, the old feelings would resurface. When she was younger, she wallowed in her regrets. But now, older and, she hoped wiser, she learned to channel those regrets into her music and then let them go. Her studio gave her the privacy she needed to explore those feelings without her friends and family judging her. It was her release.

Yes, she had loved Tom Quincy, but losing him wasn't the end of the world. It was really such a small thing compared to what happened a year later. She rolled over, fisting her hand under the pillow. She closed her eyes and remembered.

---TBC

_Here We Go Again - Paramore_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Scaring Myself**

They say it takes years to grow-up, but it happened to Jude in less than a minute. All it took was one sentence.

_Two years ago..._

Jude heard a familiar voice call her name as someone shook her shoulder. She sleepily opened her eyes, saw Sadie standing over her in a towel, her hair still wet from the shower. Jude rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock. "Dammit, Sadie! I coulda slept for another hour."

Sadie sat down on the bed. "Jude..." Her voice wavered.

Jude pushed herself into a sitting position, took a good look at her sister. Sadie was scared. The hairs stood up on the back of Jude's neck; she was awake now. "What's wrong?"

They sat quietly for several minutes, Jude's panic growing with every second that passed. Her mind conjuring the worst possible scenarios. Something happened to Dad. Something happened to Mom. Kwest was hurt. Or Jamie. Oh god, someone was dead. Finally Sadie looked over at Jude, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke. "I think... I think I found a lump." Her voice cracked on the last word.

And in that moment, Jude Harrison grew-up. A thousand things swam through her head, the word cancer repeating at least a hundred times. Their maternal grandmother had died from breast cancer. Both her and Sadie were religious about doing monthly self-exams ever since they'd gotten their first periods. Sadie must have found something in the shower. "Where?"

With no sense of modesty and too scared to be self-conscious, Sadie dropped the top of her towel. She grabbed Jude's hand, pressed two of her sister's fingers into a spot on the under side of her right breast. "Do you feel that?"

If anyone had told her she'd ever be feeling her sister's breast, Jude would have called them a perv, probably would have punched them. But like Sadie, she was too worried to be shocked by what she was doing. At first, she felt nothing, then she moved her fingers a little to the left and stopped. She pushed a little harder. There was something there. She dropped her hand back into her lap. "Call Dr. Vargas. See if he can get you in today." Jude's statement confirmed Sadie's worst fear. Her sister's eyes started to tear-up. Jude grabbed her shoulders. "Sadie, stop! It could be anything. A water cyst, a fat deposit. Don't assume the worst. Just call Dr. Vargas. Don't start worrying until we have something to worry about."

The doctor's office was closed on Tuesdays, but the nurse told Sadie to come in first thing Wednesday morning. Jude went with Sadie to her appointment, and then went with her to the clinic to get the mammogram the doctor ordered. He was concerned about the mass too. The tech promised the doctor would have the results by Friday. Sadie was increasingly worried, but didn't want to tell their father until they knew more. When Stuart questioned their odd behavior that night at dinner, the girls told him they thought they'd caught a bug at work. He reluctantly accepted their explanation.

Everyone at EastPhy knew something wasn't right too. Jude and Sadie were tense, but when asked what was wrong, both girls shook it off. Kwest pushed farther, more concerned then the others. Sadie had broken two dates that week, which wasn't like her at all. When she refused to acknowledge there was a problem, he turned to Jude. She told him it was nothing, a family thing. Told him to give Sadie a few days. He didn't like it, but he backed off.

Friday afternoon, an obviously upset Sadie pulled Jude out of the recording booth. They had a short, whispered conversation, then they left the studio without explanation. When they returned home that evening, both Kwest and Stuart were waiting for them. Kwest was the first to speak. "I've been trying to call you all afternoon. What the_ hell_ is going on?"

Sadie looked at Kwest, looked at her father, who was also watching his daughters anxiously. Jude wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulder for support. "Sit down, both of you." The group moved to the living room, Kwest and Stuart sat on the couch while Jude and Sadie stood in front of them. Sadie took a deep breath. Her voice was shaky, but she managed to get it out. "Tuesday morning, I found a lump in my breast." Both men's faces paled. "I went to the doctor, had a mammogram. Dr. Vargas called me earlier today with the results. He got me an appointment with an oncologist. That's where Jude and I went today. The oncologist thinks... well, he scheduled me for surgery next week."

The rest of the night was spent asking and answering questions. Sadie was scheduled for a biopsy and possible lumpectomy on Wednesday. The doctor wouldn't know if the tumor was cancerous until he performed the biopsy, but with her family history of breast cancer, he wanted to be aggressive.

The next day, Sadie called Victoria and went through the story again. Within the hour, Victoria had arranged a flight back to Canada. She'd arrive Tuesday night. Stuart insisted she stay at the house while she was in Toronto. She wasn't sure it was a good idea, but he told her their daughter was more important than any animosity they still held toward each other. Sadie would need and want her mother with her. In the end, Victoria was grateful for his understanding.

The more Sadie talked about what was going on, the less anxious she felt. She had family and friends supporting her, letting her know they'd be there for her, no matter what happened. By Monday, she was making jokes. Stupid jokes about the style of wig she'd get if she lost all her hair due to chemotherapy, or how she wasn't going to see anyone in recover until she had time to re-apply her make-up. She said she wanted tons of flowers in her room and she expected everyone to bring her presents when they visited her in the hospital.

Both Stuart and Kwest were a mess. They were anger and confused that they couldn't immediatley fix what was wrong with the woman they loved. Sadie commented on how the supposedly stronger sex was worthless when faced with real problems. Sure, they were great when you had a flat tire, but they crumbled at the thought of all little surgery. They hovered over her constantly, waiting on her hand-and-foot, not knowing what else to do.

But there wasn't anything else to do. Jude was taking care of it all. She contacted the rest of the family in Canada and the States, explaning the situation and promising to keep them updated on Sadie's condition. She fixed the spare room for her mother, cleaning out tons of junk that had been deposited there over the years. She packed the house with food, mostly her sister's favorites, making sure everyone who stopped by to see Sadie was offered a little something. At the studio, she delegated Sadie's work load to a few interns. She let them know if things didn't run smoothly in her sister's absence, they'd answer to her directly and it wouldn't be pretty. She re-arranged her and Kwest's own studio time, informing their bands they all had a one-week vacation. In addition, she spent hours on the internet, gathering as much information as possible about her sister's surgery and the outcomes. She became an overnight expert and could answer any and all questions.

Tuesday night, Jude sat on Sadie's bed, watching her sister pack a bag to take with her to the hospital. For the first time in days, they were alone in the house. Kwest had gone to the airport to pick-up Victoria, and Stuart had gone to pick-up Italian food for the group. Sadie pulled another night gown and matching robe out of her bureau, adding it to the two she already had. Jude rolled her eyes. "You're only going to be there for a couple of days, and you'll be wearing a hospital gown anyway."

Sadie arched one perfectly plucked eyebrow. She'd been at the salon earlier that day for a pre-surgery maintenance package: mani, pedi, haircut, facial and massage. "I refuse to wear a hospital gown. I mean it, Jude. I don't care how out of it I am. You make sure I'm in my own clothes. People are going to be visiting. I can't be seen in one of those awful things."

"You're such a princess." The phone rang and Jude hopped up to get it. "That's probably another of your admires, your highness." Sadie laughed as Jude answered. "Hello?"

There was silence, and Jude almost hung-up until she heard... "Hey, girl."

"Quincy?" she asked in shock. Jude hadn't talked to him in almost a year. She glanced at Sadie who quickly rushed to Jude's side. She leaned in close to the phone so she could hear the conversation too.

"Yeah. Um..." Tommy was obviously nervous. It wasn't like him to stumble over his words. "I got a call from Kwest yesterday. He told me about Sadie. How is she?"

"Sadie's great," Jude answered truthfully. "Her surgery's tomorrow. She's right here if you -"

"How are you doing?" he asked, his concern evident.

Boy, that was a loaded question. A week before, Jude might have balled, yelled, screamed; she wasn't sure. But her and Quincy's problems just didn't seem to matter any more. He was gone from her life, and she had more important things to deal with. "I'm doing good. Really good. All of us are. We're going to get through it together, and Sadie's going to be fine." She didn't realize her sister was holding her hand until she felt a little squeeze. That was perfect. Sadie might have cancer and she was trying to comfort Jude. "It was good of you to call, Tom. Here's Sadie." She passed her sister the phone before he could say anything else.

Jude walked downstairs, not wanting to or needing to listen in on the rest of the conversation. She thought she'd be more effected by talking to him, but other than a small sense of loss for something that never quite happened, she was okay. She took the plates out of the kitchen cabinet and began to set the table for dinner.

A few minutes later, Sadie joined her. "Well, that was weird," she said as she strolled into the dining room. Jude nodded, but didn't say anything. Sadie sat at the table, watched her sister for any sign of emotion. She knew Jude wasn't quite over Tommy. "I think he wanted to talk to you some more."

"What's there to talk about?" Jude asked without the least bit of venom in her voice. "We've both moved on. Besides, I'm not up to dealing with Quincy drama right now. He makes his own problems, and in the skeem of things, they're just not that important."

"He asked if he should fly up tomorrow." Sadie waited for some reaction from her sister, but it didn't come. "Of course, I told him no, but I did promise we'd add him to the list of people to call after surgery."

"That sounds good. I'll make sure Kwest calls." As Jude was finishing the sentence, the front door opened. Kwest and Victoria were back from the airport. And it was the last time Jude and Sadie talked about Tom Quincy for months.

The surgery went well. The tumor was malignant, but the doctor was confident he'd gotten it all. Because of it's size and location, and the fact that it hadn't spread, Sadie would have to undergo localized radiation, but she would be spared chemotherapy. Victoria stayed for two weeks, making sure Sadie had fully recovered from surgery before she left. She was reluctant to leave, but Jude assured her mother with Kwest's and her dad's help, she could take care of Sadie. Victoria would visit again in a few months or sooner if Sadie needed her.

A month after surgery, Sadie started her treatment: five sessions a week for seven weeks. Jude went with Sadie to every radiation appointment. She encourged her sister to eat when Sadie wanted to refuse, nauseous due to the treatment. She helped her bathe when Sadie was too weak to stand in the shower by herself. She made Sadie smile and laugh when all her sister wanted to do was cry. The tables had turned, and for the first time in their lives, Jude was Sadie's rock of support.

After three months, the doctor gave Sadie a clean bill of health. The worst was over, and Jude thought, because they'd managed to live through it, the universe decided to reward them. Kwest proposed and Sadie immediately accepted. Jude found a house she wanted to buy and Paegan asked her to become a partner in EastPhy. Stuart was offered a promotion at work and the chance to move to Vancouver. As far as Jude was concerned, it was nothing but good times ahead.

--- TBC

_Scaring Myself - Bowling for Soup_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Try Too Hard**

It was close to ten when Jude walked into EastPhy the next day, Rocky by her side. She was getting a late start, normally showing up at the studio by eight, but she'd had an appointment that morning. She unclipped Rocky from his leash, and watched him lope across the lobby to hospitality without giving her another glance. She figured he was going to check out his food bowl in the hopes of finding the remains of some generous employees breakfast waiting for him. She wasn't worried about his departure; unlike most guys, Rocky always came back to her. Before heading to her own office, she went to the PR department to say hello to her sister.

Sadie was too ambitious to stay a receptionist forever. She worked her way up through the ranks at EastPhy, and when she graduated from university, Paegan promoted her to Director of PR, in-charge of new artist promotion. Reporting to her were two managers and a couple of interns that rotated in-and-out on a fairly regular basis. Jillian, Sadie's assistant, was on the phone when Jude walked up to her desk. Not wanting to interrupt the brunette, Jude motioned to Sadie's door, Jillian smiled and nodded. Jude waved a quick thank you, then peaked her head around the corner into her sister's office. "Good morning," she said brightly.

Sadie looked up from the promotional packet she was reviewing. She quickly dropped the paperwork. "Come in and shut the door," she said in a conspiratorial tone.

Jude did as instructed, then she dropped into one of the two office chairs across from Sadie's desk. "What happened now?" she asked, expecting the worst.

Sadie's gave her a saucy smile, her tone light and teasing. "When you don't come in until ten, you miss all the good stuff."

"I had a doctor's appointment; sue me." The smile was instantly wiped from Sadie's face. Jude silently cursed her off-handed remark. "It was my yearly gyno appointment, Sades. I scheduled it months ago. Nothing's wrong." It had been two years since Sadie's scare, but any mention of a doctor still freaked her out.

"Of course nothing's wrong," Sadie said a bit too earnestly, doing her best to shake off the worry she knew was unreasonable. She deliberately laid her hand on the top of her desk and twirled a pen between her fingers, attempting to force back her earlier casual manner as she returned to the conversation. "Jamie was all over me this morning about Tom. The second I walked in the door he was in my face. I knew he wasn't going to like the idea - you were completely right about that - but I didn't expect him to be _this_ upset. "

Jude slouched in her chair and groaned. "God, Sades, I am _so_ sorry." She should have seen it coming. She never should have told Jamie hiring Quincy was her sister's idea. She should have taken all the heat for it. "I'll straighten it out right now. He had no right to -"

"Don't worry about it." Sadie smiled again and waved her hand. "You know I can take care of myself. I was surprised, but I recovered. He yelled, and I yelled right back. Finally, Kwest stepped in and pulled him away. It only lasted a few minutes." Sadie expression turned thoughtful. "Truthfully, I'm not sure if Kwest was protecting me from Jamie, or protecting Jamie from me."

That made Jude laugh. Knowing her sister, Kwest was protecting Jamie. "So you and Jamie got into a knock-down-drag-out in front of the staff, and I missed it."

"Oh, that's not even the best part." Sadie leaned back in her chair, making herself more comfortable. "Jamie's being a butt-head, as usual. He refuses to deal with Tom directly. And he doesn't want you dealing with him either. After our... conversation this morning, he talked to Kwest privately in his office. He's put Kwest in charge of Tom's hiring. I think it's a little childish of him, but whatever works. Kwest is going to call Tom this afternoon to see if he's interested in the job."

"I thought Kwest already talked to Quincy about this." Jude narrowed her eyes at her sister suspiciously. "Are you telling me I might have twisted Jamie's arm for nothing? Quincy might not even _want_ a job here?"

Sadie sighed in exasperation. "Kwest didn't want to say anything until the offer was solid. He didn't want to get Tom's hopes up." Jude still looked unconvinced. "The last time we were in Chicago, all Tom did was ask us questions about EastPhy. He's unhappy at Illusion Records. They're not artist centric, not as much as we are, and they hardly do anything for charity. Martin's been pushing him to work with more commercial artists, and Tom wants to stay with the Indie groups. All of that, plus the divorce? It's no wonder he wants to quit. He'll jump at the chance to work here. It's not going to be a problem, trust me."

Jude decided to let it slide. There was nothing she could do about it anyway. Worse case scenario, Quincy wouldn't take the job. Or maybe that was the best case scenario. Jamie would be ecstatic. "So why is this better than you and Jamie fighting?"

"It's not. Something else happened this morning." Sadie's eyes started to sparkle again. "Steven Daly came in." Jude's mouth formed a perfect 'O' and her eyes grew huge. Sadie leaned across her desk as she got into gossip mode. "Jamie was already mad, so when he saw Steven, he pointed at him, shook his finger and yelled, 'This is all your fault! If you hadn't quit, I wouldn't be in this mess!' Steven never got a word out of his mouth. Jamie grabbed his arm and pushed him out the front door. Then Jamie turned on Kwest and told him if Tom quit to go work for G-Major, he'd kill both of them. After that, he stormed into his office. He hasn't come out since."

Jude let out a low whistle. Damn! Jamie threw someone out of the studio? All the good stuff happened before ten. "Do you know why Steven was here?"

"He wanted his job back," Sadie scoffed. "Krause fired him last week. Didn't you know that?"

"I hadn't heard, but it doesn't surprise me. Steven was too laid back for G-Major." Jude felt a twinge of guilt, but brushed it aside. No, it wasn't her fault. It was all because of George Krause. Krause was the new president of G-Major, and he had a grudge against Jude. He didn't like the fact Darius had given her the rights to her catalog, especially since no money had changed hands. Jude didn't have an explanation for Darius' generosity, and Darius wasn't talking. The situation was... uncomfortable. But it did leave her in control, which meant G-Major needed her permission to release her third album. That didn't sit well with Krause. At first, she'd been more than willing to work with him, but he turned out to be such an ass, she quickly changed her mind. She told him he could shelve her third album and she'd rather wait-out the two and half years on her contract then have anything to do with him. The G-Major lawyers told Krause he had no legal recourse. The songs were hers, and as long as she didn't try to record any new material with another label, they couldn't sue her. That's when he'd started stealing EastPhy producers as punishment. It was petty, but effective. Her and Kwest's current schedule proved that.

After the second time it happened, Jude and Jamie warned each new producer they hired that Krause would try to lure them away from EastPhy. He would offer them more money, make all kinds promises about autonomy in the studio and total control of their artists, but it was all a lie. Oh, the money was real, but the rest of it was a sham. Each producer listened to the warning, then through it out the window when Krause dangled the money in front of them. They quit and went to G-Major. They all started out as engineers, Krause saying he'd promote them as soon as an opening became available, but G-Major didn't need anymore producers, and no one ever got promoted. It took them about four months to realize they'd been snowed. Most quit before Krause found a reason to fire them. A few had come back looking for their old jobs, but Jamie told them when they left, if they went to G-Major, they'd never be welcome back at EastPhy. Paegan expected his employees to be loyal. So far, they'd lost six out of their eight producers to Krause. Jude sighed and shook her head at how ridiculous the entire situation was. "I have to agree with Jamie. If Quincy defects, both him and Kwest are toast. Hell, Jamie'll probably come after me too."

"And me," Sadie added. "But Tom's not going to quit. He doesn't like Krause any more than you do. Eventually, that guy rubs everyone the wrong way. I can't believe the G-Major board has left him in control this long."

"I know." Jude was just as astounded as Sadie. Krause was tough like Darius, but he had none of D's charm or instincts. The guy was smarmy. Spied refused to sign with him and Mason jumped to EastPhy a year ago. "Even Karma's thinking about leaving when her contracts up. And the newest Instant Stars are... well, they're not that good. I think he's rigging the contest, going more for show than talent. It's like he's creating an army of Edens." Jude shuttered at the thought.

Sadie smirked at the expression on her sister's face. She'd chastise Jude about her continued hatred of the woman if Eden wasn't still such a bitch. "The Instant Star shine starts to tarnish when the artists leave their label screaming. I'm surprised they can get anyone to audition."

"Speaking of auditions... I'm going to listen to a new band tonight at The Chain. Do you and Kwest want to come?" Jude was done talking about George Krause. The guy was nothing but trouble, and it was trouble she couldn't avoid, but she wouldn't waste more breath on him than was necessary.

Sadie knew how Jude felt and she could take a hint. "Talk to my husband. I don't know what his schedule's like today, but if he's in, so am I."

"Great!" Jude jumped up from her seat. "I'll catch him on a break and ask." And I'll talk to Jamie too, she added silently. He knew better than to go after Sadie.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Because of her own hectic studio schedule, it was close to five before Jude had a chance to talk to Kwest. He was mixing a song for one of the bands he'd worked with earlier in the day when Jude slid into his studio. "Hey, big brother. You got a minute?"

"Hey, little sister. For you, always." They'd started the big brother / little sister gag when Sadie and Kwest got engaged. He patted the empty chair next to him. Jude told him about the band playing at The Chain, and plans were quickly made for later that evening. She was about to leave when Kwest said, "I wanted to let you know I got a hold of T today. He was surprised by the job offer, but he was all over it the minute I mentioned it. He can't wait to start work. We still need to iron out salary and everything, but he should be here in a couple of weeks, and we'll finally get a little relief."

"Great," Jude said without any enthusiasm, then she caught herself and perked up. "I mean, that's great. Really great. We could use another rockin' producer around here. The three of us back in the studio. It'll be like old times. Sorta." She smiled sheepishly.

"Uh, huh," Kwest said, disbelief in his voice. "You're sure you're okay with this? Sadie said you were fine with it, but I know how she can be when she wants something, and if she's pushing this on you because of the baby thing..."

"I'm fine with Quincy working here. Really." Jude waited, but Kwest's expression didn't change. She sagged in the chair. "Please don't do this to me," she begged. "After Sadie told me what happened this morning, I spent almost an hour in Jamie's office arguing with him. He blew-off what happened with her, and started in on me. It's like the past three years never happened. He's convinced I'm going to turn into a quivering bowl of jello the minute Quincy walks into the studio. So if I don't sound thrilled, it's not because of Tom. I just don't want to put up with Jamie constantly trying to protect me." She air quoted the last two words.

Kwest rested his hand on her arm, gave it a comforting and understanding squeeze. "He gave me the same speech. He said we were all worried about Sadie when we should be worried about you. I told him you're a big girl; you can take care of yourself."

"Well, thank you for that." Jude appreciated the support, but she wished it extended to other parts of her life. "Now, when are you going to listen to your own advice?" Kwest looked at her, confused. "Stop harassing me about starting a new album. And stop dragging my sister into it! I don't know what you said to her, but she's convinced I stopped singing because of Quincy. We're so busy around here it's interfering with your plans to start a family, but somehow she can't see that I might be too busy working on other people's albums to start one of my own. Or even have a spare minute to focus my energy on a concept, a voice. Maybe find a new back-up band. Stop feeding her delusions!"

Kwest winced with guilt. "I told her I wished you'd work on your own stuff, and I wondered out loud what was holding you back, but I never said it had anything to do with T." He loved Sadie, but she was a meddler from birth. He figured Tommy being back was going to be hard enough on Jude without Sadie stirring the pot. "I'm going to continue to push you about your album, because I think it's past time you recorded again, but I won't mention it in front of her anymore. Far enough?"

Jude reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But you know how she is. She's got the idea now, which means she isn't going to let it go anytime soon." Jude clasped her hands in front of her in prayer and pleaded with her brother-in-law. "Get her knocked up as fast as you can. Give her something else to worry about besides me."

Kwest's shoulders shook with laughter. "Trust me, superstar. I'm trying. I'm trying my best."

--- TBC

_Try Too Hard - Teddy Geiger_


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! It's nice to know someone is out there reading this :) I'm not sure where it's going yet. I'm debated on whether or not I should give Jude a current boyfriend. What do you think?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Awkward Last Words**

"That was great, guys, but let's do one more rough take before we start breaking it down." The musicians in the recording booth nodded in agreement. Jude focused her attention on the lead singer. "And Lyndsey, this time I want you to drill the chorus, especially the last two lines. This guy has seriously pissed you off. You're upset, hurt and confused. Really sell it." Jude sang the lyrics like she heard them in her head. "I put my faith in you, _so much faith_/and then you just through it away."

"You got it, boss," the pixie with the bright blue hair answered from inside the booth, adding a salute and a click of her heels.

Jude clicked off the mic, shaking her head in exasperation. She felt Rocky's head graze her leg as he shifted positions under the sound board. She placed her barefoot on his forehead and scrunched her toes to scratch the space between his ear. "She's such a smartass," she confided to him. Rocky moved his head away from her foot, looking around her leg to the intruder who had gotten his attention in the first place. He eyed the man standing silently behind Jude. Completely oblivious to the presence, Jude continued to talk as she set-up for the next take. "She reminds me of Spied, ya know? Sometimes I just want to slap that stupid smirk right off her face, but then I remember how talented she is, and I figure she deserves to be a little cocky."

"Is that why I never hit Spiederman? Thanks for clearing that up."

Jude jumped at the sound of the voice that was as familiar to her as her own. She glanced over her shoulder. "Hey, Quincy. We didn't think you'd be here until tomorrow." She smiled as she pointed to the empty chair beside her. Rocky laid his head back down on the floor, returning to his nap, completely dismissing the stranger. _You're supposed to protect me from the bad guys_, she thought, a little irked.

"I was able to leave a day earlier than I expected," Tommy said as he sat down. "I knew Kwest and Sadie would still be at work and since I'm staying with them - you knew that, right?" Jude nodded. "Well, I don't have a key to the house yet, so I drove straight here when I got into town. Besides, it gives me a chance to see the new place, maybe meet some of my artists." He titled his head to the musicians in the booth. "One of my bands?"

Jude vigorously shook her head. "I don't think so. That's Distrust. They're all mine. You get McEntire's artists." She first heard Distrust while scoping for new talent at a local music festival. Lyndsey had a amazing, dynamic vocal range. Her sister Diana played the drums with the intensity of Keith Moon. Peter and Andy filled out the quartet on guitar and bass respectively and back-up vocals. Not only was Jude impressed with their performance, but the way the band interacted reminded her so much of her and SME, she couldn't help but love them. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lyndsey waving impatiently, trying to get her attention. "But you can stick around to listen if you want. I'd like to know what you think." She re-opened the mic. "Sorry, guys." She started the recording equipment and went back to work.

Tommy was getting the grand tour from Kwest when he spotted her in the studio. He'd walked away from his best friend without saying a word and straight to Jude. He wasn't sure what type of reception he'd get when he opened the studio door. He wasn't sure where things stood between them. Were they friends? Enemies? Co-workers with history? Had she relegated him to being the best friend of her brother-in-law and nothing more? It was frustrating not to know the answer. But then, he couldn't remember a time when being around Jude was anything less than frustrating. Her polite acceptance of his presence was a nice middle ground he could live with.

The music coming from inside the booth drew Tommy's attention away from his thoughts. He realized he was unconsciously tapping his foot to the beat. The power in the voice of the little girl with the blue hair amazed him. Jude was right; she was talented.

_...Well, if you give up_

_You'll get what you deserve_

_So what did you think I would say?_

_No you can't run away, no you can't run away_

_So what did you think I would say?_

_No you can't run away, no you can't run away_

_You wouldn't_

_I never wanted to say this_

_You never wanted to stay_

_I put my faith in you, so much faith_

_And then you just threw it away_

_You threw it away_

_You were finished long before_

_We had even seen the start_

_Why don't you stand up, be a man about it?_

_Fight with your bare hands about it now_

_I never wanted to say this_

_You never wanted to stay, well did you?_

_I put my faith in you, so much faith_

_And then you just threw it away_

_I never wanted to say this_

_You never wanted to stay_

_I put my faith in you, so much faith_

_And then you just threw it away_

Jude's face lit up as she gushed praise onto her artists. "That was perfect! Absolutely perfect! You guys nailed it! Take fifteen, then we'll start recording the guitar tracks." She turned to Tom. "Whadya think?" she asked, already anticipating his answer.

"That's one hell of a singer you've got," Tommy said, a little professional jealousy creeping into his voice. "The songs good too; love the lyrics. Did one of them write it?"

Jude eyes wandered back to the board as she started setting up to record the individual guitar tracks. "Lyndsey and Diana usual write their own material. That's the singer and the drummer. They're twins. But they didn't write this one." Jude had written it years ago, during one of her 'I hate him' phases, but she didn't think Quincy needed to know that. She always knew it would take someone with a harder edged sound to show it off properly. It was perfect for Lyndsey. "I think they've captured the spirit of it though. It should be a good single for them."

Tommy nodded in agreement, oblivious to the fact that he was the inspiration for the song he'd just heard. "I'd have the drummer back-off a bit. She's overpowering the singer in places."

Jude stiffened in her seat, her voice clipped as she spoke. "Ah, yeah. I caught that. It's just a rough recording. We'll fine tune it as we go along."

Tommy caught the edge to her voice. "You asked for my opinion," he said quietly, hoping he hadn't upset Jude with his suggestion. The last thing he wanted was to start their new relationship with a fight.

Jude opened her mouth, a sharp retort on the tip of her tongue, but instead of retaliating - how juvenile would that be - she sighed. "You're right. I did." She took a deep breath, shaking off the rest of her annoyance. "Kwest and I trade completed tracks, but we've been so short-staffed, we haven't had time to sit in on each other's recording sessions. I'm not used to someone critiquing a song-in-progress. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Tommy blinked, taken aback by Jude's apology. It wasn't like her to surrender that quickly. Of course, realistically, what did he know about her anymore? He'd been gone for three years. He'd changed. He guessed she had too. "I understand. You get protective of your artists. I was always protective of you."

Jude plastered a smile on her face and said nothing, as old accusations screamed in her head. She wasn't going to do it. She wasn't going to go there. It wasn't Tom's fault he'd walked in when he did. Working on the song had stirred up memories she usually dealt with in her private recording studio, but that didn't give her an excuse to launch into an argument about something neither one of them could change. She was okay after he left. She'd been lonely without him, had missed him like crazy, but it had been her choice to stay in Toronto. She couldn't hold his leaving against him, not when he asked her to join him. It had only taken her a month to realize she'd never feel for Jamie what she felt for Tom, and she planned on telling him the moment he came back, but he never did. He decided to move to Chicago. He never picked up a phone to tell her he wasn't coming home; she'd found out from Kwest. But she couldn't blame him for that either. When a guy says he love you and you choose to stay with someone else, the guy doesn't owe you any explanation for what he does next. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with that. So she quieted the voices in her head. The past was dead and buried, and it would be better for both of them if it stayed that way.

Just then, then door to the studio swung open, and Diana strode in. "Harry, our lead singer is complaining about my drumming again." When Diana was mad at Lyndsey, she always referred to her as 'our lead singer' instead of my sister. "I kindly reminded her we play rock music, not easy listening. If she wants to be heard, she needs to step it up."

Lyndsey was right on Diana's heels. "And I told her I'm supposed to be singing, not screaming like a banshee. Get her to drop it down a notch, will ya, Harry?"

Lyndsey and Diana fought all the time, a mixture of normal band tension and sibling rivalry. Jude focused on the girls who were shooting daggers at each other, thankful for the diversion from her own thoughts. "I'm your producer. It's my job to bring out the best in your music. I want both of you to react to what I'm about to say in a thoroughly professional manner. There will be no gloating and no pouting. Is that clear?" The girls nodded. "Diana, back-off a little."

"I knew I was right!" Lyndsey said in a completely unprofessional tone. And then she stuck out her tongue.

Diana made a big production of slowly clapping her hands. "There she is, ladies and gentleman, my _oh_ so mature sister."

Jude rolled her eyes at both of them as she stood. "Can it, you two. You're embarrassing me in front of our guest." The girls looked at Jude, then in tandem swung their gazes around to Tom who was also standing. Jude made the introductions. "Lyndsey, Diane, this is Tom Quincy. Starting next week, he's going to be working here as a producer. Tom, these are my two favorite artists, Lyndsey and Diana Redmond."

"You say that about all your artists," Diana said as she shook hands with Tommy. She studied him as he shook hands with her sister too. The name sounded familiar. Then it clicked into place. "Tom Quincy? Not Harry's old producer, Tom Quincy?"

"BoyzAttack, Tom Quincy?" Lyndsey added in astonishment.

Tommy pushed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, nodded sheepishly. "Guilty on both counts."

Lyndsey squealed. "Oh my god! We know all your songs!" Tommy puffed up under the female admiration. "When we were kids, our mom used to listen to your stuff all the time. She's a big fan." The smile fell from Tommy's face. Jude bit her bottom lip to hide her smirk as Lyndsey continued to ramble. "She even made us sing a BoyzAttack song for a talent show at school. We wanted to sing something more current, but she's always liked the old stuff, and she is our mom, so, ya know, what can you do. Do you remember, Di? We were like ten, I think." Jude's shoulders started to shake.

Lyndsey might be completely oblivious, but Diana knew exactly what was going on. Her sister was such an idiot. Could she not see she was insulting the guy? She elbowed Lyndsey in the stomach as she glared at her. "My sister is always putting her foot in her mouth. Please forgive her."

Lyndsey pushed Diana away from her, still not catching on "What? I didn't say _he _was old." A little laugh escaped from Jude and Tommy's face turned red.

Diana quickly grabbed her sister's arm. "Okay. We're leaving now. Nice to have met you, Mr. Quincy." She roughly drug Lyndsey out of the room.

Once they were gone, Tommy swung around to face Jude. "Not one word," he said between clenched teeth.

Jude nodded, but then she met Tommy's eyes and she burst out laughing. She collapsed into her chair, clutching her stomach as tears rolled down her face. Tommy stood over her glaring. Jude knew it was awful of her, but she couldn't help it. She tried to take a deep breath, tried to control her mirth long enough to apologize. "I'm sorry, but..." It was no use; she started laughing again.

Tommy sat on the edge of the sound board, annoyed as hell. "Laugh it up, Harrison. Go ahead. Get it out of your system." He wasn't old. He was only twenty-eight, for christsake! "Now I know what you meant about wanting to slap her." Jude could only snort in response.

---TBC

_Awkward Last Words - Armor for Sleep_

Distrust was recording _For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic_ - Paramore


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**It's Never About What It's About**

"You're really good at this," Tommy said. He'd been watching Jude work for little over an hour. She'd finished laying down the track with the guitarist and was getting ready to start with the bassist. Jude shrugged off the comment as she adjusted a couple of slides on the board, but Tommy covered her hand with his own, effectively stopping her movements. "I mean it, Jude. You're a _good_ producer. Peter would have played that song a million times if you asked him. You never bullied him, but you got exactly the sound you wanted. You know what the finished song sounds like, don't you? You already have it in your head."

"I know what it should sound like, I guess." Jude could feel the blush rising in her cheeks. No matter what happened between them, she still respected his opinion about music. His approval of her work, his recognition of her accomplishments meant something to her. That would never change. A little smile played across her lips. "I used to get so mad when you made me sing the same line over and over again. I never understood why you were so particular. But now... It's not about the individual tracks, is it? You have to be able to hear the song as a whole, even when you're dealing with the parts."

Tommy nodded in agreement. "You can record the perfect vocal, the perfect guitar, the perfect piano, but if they don't mesh, if they don't compliment each other when you put them together, the song sounds terrible. Not everyone understands that," he smiled back at her, pride radiating from him, "but you do. That's what makes you a good producer."

The pididdly-bump of Jude's heart told her his comment had registered more personally than professionally, and she didn't like that at all. She also realized Tom was still touching her. Also not good. She slowly slid her hand out from under his. This was how it had all started five years ago. A kind word, a simple touch, a young girl misconstruing both. Thank god she was older and she knew better. She focused her attention back on the soundboard. "I'm sure you've got a million things to do. You're first day back in town and everything. If you need to leave - "

"I'm good," Tommy assured her. "I'd like to stay." He realized too late that he shouldn't have touched her. One minute they were getting along fine, the next Jude wanted him out of her studio. The problem was, he didn't want to go. Being with Jude was the most fun than he'd had in months. "I was hoping I could see you work with Lyndsey on the vocals. She's a brat, but she does have an amazing voice, and I already told you how much I liked the lyrics. I want to see what you do with it all. Maybe I can help. You don't have an engineer," he finished hopefully.

The mention of Lyndsey was Jude's downfall. The singer had already been rude to him, and even though Jude found it hilarious at the time, she felt guilty about unleashing Lyndsey on him without warning. She was going to have to let him stay. But she needed him out of the studio for a few minutes so she could get her head straight. Just then, Rocky rolled his head between her feet, a sure sign he was waking up from his afternoon nap. She glanced at the studio clock. It was almost four; he was due for a walk. Suddenly, Jude had a brilliant idea. She turned to Tom, throwing her arm casually over the back of her chair. "Okay, Quincy. For today, you're my engineer, which means _you_ take orders from _me_."

It was a hundred-and eighty-degree turn from moments before, and it made Tommy a bit wary. But he was getting what he wanted, so he decided to see where she was going. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn't stop himself from saying, "I could get used to taking orders from you." The timber of his voice implying he was talking about more than just work.

_Tom Quincy, the king of charm_, Jude thought. She wondered if he ever turned it off. She decided to ignore the obvious flirtation and concentrate on her plan. "How do you feel about... dogs?"

The random question through Tommy for a loop. He blinked a couple of times. "What?"

Jude bit back her smile. _This is going to be so much fun_, she thought. "Dogs. Do you like dogs?" she asked slowly, enunciating each word.

Tommy shrugged. "Ah, sure. Dogs are cool," he answered, a little frightened. Something had flashed in her eyes before her face went blank, and he didn't like it.

"Good. There's a leash hanging on the wall in my office. It's right inside the door." Jude's placid face showed no sign of the utter joy she was getting out of confusing him.

Tommy laughed nervously "I never knew you were kinky, girl. I'm all for it, but we _are_ at work."

Jude lightly punched him. "Don't be an ass. You take orders from me, right?" Tommy nodded. She slid her chair back a foot from the console. "Rocky. Time for your walk."

Tommy felt something move around his legs, then a large head appeared from under the soundboard, a large body quickly following. "What the hell?!" he said in surprise and Jude burst out laughing. Tommy leaned down to look under the console. "Where did that come from?"

Jude lovingly patted Rocky's head as the dog stretched and yawned. "Rocky likes sleeping under the board. It's his cave." She rubbed the bridge of his nose with her knuckles. He leaned the weight of his body into her, moving her chair a few inches to the left. "He was a present from my dad when I moved out. I've been bringing him to work with me since he was a puppy. He's great in the studio, but he's been tramped in here for hours, and it's about time for his walk." At the second mention of the powerful word, Rocky began prancing around the studio. "See," Jude said, gesturing towards him.

Tommy looked between her and the dog. Kwest had mentioned she had one, but he never said she brought it to work with her. He'd seen dogs in studios before, but they were usually little froo-froo things, hidden in some girls purse. Why was he so surprised that Jude had to be different? A monster of a dog sleeping under a soundboard. He clapped his hands. "Come here, Rocky." The dog trotted over. Tommy ruffled his fur, pulled on his ears, grabbed his ruff and shook him. Rocky happily took the playful abuse, tail wagging, tongue hanging out. "He's easy going."

"He loves the rough stuff," Jude said. Tommy arched his eyebrow and smirked at her comment. She narrowed her eyes. "Go walk the dog," she commanded. "And I suggest you keep a tight grip on the leash. If he bolts, you're chasing after him."

Tommy stood up chuckling. "I've walked a dog before, Jude. Don't worry, I got it covered." He called Rocky to follow him, but the dog sat down next to Jude with no intention of leaving.

She pushed him away from her. "It's okay, Rock. Go with Tom." Tommy called him again. Rocky took a few steps forward, but stopped and swung his head back to his master. "Go," Jude said. Rocky heaved a long doggy sigh and walked with Tommy out of the room. Jude shook her head. He was such a ham.

A few minutes later Sadie came bounding into the studio interrupting Jude's preparation for the next set. "I thought he'd never leave," she said as she dropped into the empty chair. "Tell me _everything_!" She exaggerated the last word.

Jude knew her day had just gotten worse. "What are you talking about?" she asked cooly. She wasn't stupid; she knew exactly what Sadie wanted, but that didn't mean she had to make it easy for her.

"Oh, would you just stop!" Sadie huffed in agitation. She hated it when Jude acted like this. It took all the fun out of it. "The second he saw you, he made a beeline for the studio. You didn't kick him out, which was a little surprising. And he was whistling when he left with Rocky. Come on, Jude. You can trust me. Tell your big sister what happened."

"Nothing happened, Sadie." Well, that wasn't totally true, but it was as much as Jude felt like sharing at the moment, especially with her sister. Give Sadie an inch, she'd take a mile. "I told him he could stick around, listen to the band. I wanted his opinion of them. If he's going to be working here, he needs to get to know the talent. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Not a big deal!" Sadie's voice rose a couple of octaves. Finally, there was something going on that was more interesting than her brush with cancer, and Jude thought it was no big deal. Sadie wanted - needed to focus her attention on anything other than her 'recovery'. And Jude needed it too. Yes, she'd used her sister's overprotective nature to get Tommy the job. And yes, she wanted a third permanent producer so she could start a family. But she also wanted something for Jude other than the studio. Her sister spent too much time worrying about her and EastPhy. She needed a distraction, and Tommy was nothing if not a distraction. Of course, if he hurt Jude again, Sadie would have to kill him, but she'd deal with that later. "Kwest was giving him the tour and Tommy walked away from him. Walked away without saying a word! It was like... it was like he was in a trance."

Jude rolled her eyes. "A trance?" She'd been listening to Sadie's crap for two weeks. Speculation about what was going to happen when Tom started working at EastPhy. Her sister was excitedly anticipating the 'drama'. "Kwest was probably boring the hell out of him. I love your husband to death, but a tour of the studio? Like Quincy couldn't have figured the place out on his own. And it's not a stretch to think he'd be more interested in what was going on inside a recording booth than in, oh, I don't know, the marketing department." She could handle working with Tom, but if Sadie was going to analyze their every interaction, Jude wasn't sure she could continue working with her sister.

Jude's sarcasm wasn't lost on Sadie. She figured she wasn't going to get a damn thing out of her if she kept needling, but... Oh, she couldn't help it. She _had_ to know. "Fine then. Let's cut to the chase." Sadie leaned forward in her chair, dropped her voice to a conspiring tone. "Now that you've spent time with him, you can tell me the truth. Is the old feeling there? Are you still into him?"

"I'd like to know the answer to that myself," Jamie said from the doorway. He'd been informed of Quincy's arrival by the receptionist. Since he didn't want to deal with the guy until he absolutely had to, he was happy that Kwest had kept him away, but Jamie'd kept an eye on things from his office. To say he was disappointed when Jude didn't throw Quincy out of her studio the minute he walked in uninvited would be an understatement.

Jude turned to see the look of disapproval on Jamie's face. She turned back to Sadie and saw the look of excitement. She dropped her forehead to the soundboard. She couldn't win. "For the last time! I don't have feelings for Tom Quincy! I am over him! O-V-E-R. It was a long, long time ago! Stop bugging me about it!"

Jamie walked into the booth, closing the door behind him. "You always say that, and I always believe you. And then you get so caught up in him, you do something stupid and almost throw away your career." He leaned against the studio wall, arms crossed in front of him. "Drunken episode in Barry. Crying jag at the Instant Star finale. That ridiculous song on your eighteenth birthday. What's it going to be this time?" He figured it would be a good idea to remind Sadie of those incidences too. He'd caught bits and pieces of recent conversations between her and Kwest, and he knew she was in matchmaking mode. How she could possibly think Quincy was boyfriend material for her sister he wasn't sure. Didn't she remember all the trouble he'd caused? The ways he played with Jude's head and her heart?

"Watch it," Jude said with fury in her voice. Jamie'd been on her case for two weeks, and she'd put up with it because she knew he was trying to protect her. He was her best friend, and part of his job was to try to stop her from doing stupid things. But he'd just crossed the line. She wouldn't let him throw the past in her face. She hadn't done anything that reckless in years. And an hour spent with Tom didn't warrant that kind of attack. "What's the matter, Jamie? Jealous I never got that worked up over you?" If he could hit below the belt, so could she.

Jamie pushed himself away from the wall and took a menacing step toward her. Jude jumped out of her chair, ready to take him on. Sadie quickly placed her body between them. "You two need to calm down before one of you says something you're going to regret."

The studio door swung open. "Harry, are you about ready for..." Andy's voice trailed off as he took in the scene in front of him. Jude and Jamie wore matching expressions of unbridled hostility. Sadie had her arms stretched out on either side like she was physically keep them away from each other. The young bassists slowly started to back out of the room, not wanting to get mixed up in whatever was going on. "I'll come back later."

"Give me fifteen minutes," Jude said to him, never taking her eyes off of Jamie. Andy nodded and got the hell out of the room. "Shall we continue this in your office, Mr. Andrews? I think we'll have fewer interruptions there." Jude's long-suppressed anger was fast boiling over.

Jamie curtly nodded and swept his hand towards the door. "After you, Miss Harrison," he said with matching venom.

Sadie desperately grabbed Jude's arm. "Don't so this," she pleaded.

Jude shrugged her off. She was too hot to let the subject go, no matter how intelligent her sister's warning. "Go back to your office, Sadie. We'll talk later."

Sadie sank back down in the chair as she watched the two of them go, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it.

--- TBC

_It's Never About What It's About - Blackpool Lights_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Smile Like You Mean It**

"How many times are we going to have this argument?" Jude said before the door to the office was closed.

"When are you going to start listening to me?" Jamie countered, as he slammed the door shut.

"I _always_ listen to you. _You_ never _listen_ to me!" Jude propped her hands on her hips, and stared him down. "I'm not sixteen anymore. I got over Tom Quincy years ago. He's here because we need another producer and he needs a job. Nothing is going to happ-"

"You're stupid," Jamie said, cutting her off as he walked passed her.

"Excuse me?!" Jude pivoted on her heels so she was facing him again. It was one thing to say she did stupid things, but to call her stupid to her face...

Jamie leaned his hip against the corner of his desk and shrugged. "You're stupid when it comes to Quincy. You act like a complete idiot when he's around. He dumps on you again and again, and you take it. Hell, half the time you defend him. He can do whatever he wants, and it never seems to phase you. Oh, you get all weepy and hysterical for a nanosecond, but then you're right back under his thumb. He's a user and you're an enabler."

Jude's fist landed with a loud smack on the desk next to him. "How many _frickin'_ times do I have to tell you?! I'm _not_ that girl anymore!" Her face was inches away from his, her chest rapidly rising and falling. "What do I have to do to get that through your thick skull?"

Jamie peered down at her clenched fist, glanced back at her contorted face. He knew he was pushing all her buttons, but he didn't care. Someone had to tell her the truth. "No matter what he does, you forgive him. No matter how much he hurts you, you always go back for more. It's sick."

"I didn't go to Asia, did I?" Jude asked, sarcasm dripping from her lips. "I didn't follow him to Chicago. I didn't have a meltdown when I found out he got married, or when he brought his wife to Sadie and Kwest's wedding. I haven't had more than a passing thought about him in years!" Inside, Jude winced. The last part wasn't exactly true, but...

"Distance. Distance and non-opportunity. Yeah, you're fine when he's on the other side of the globe or when he's hooked up with someone else, but neither of those things apply right now. He's here and he's getting a divorce! " Jamie abruptly stood up, forcing Jude to step back. "And what the hell were you thinking letting him sit in on your recording session? You should have tossed him out the minute he came in!"

Jude scoffed. "Right, like that was an option." Jamie rolled his eyes, and she poked him hard in the chest. "I had talent in the booth, Jamie! What did you want me to do? Throw him out? Make a big scene? In front of Lyndsey and Diana and the guys? How fast do you think _that_ piece of gossip would have spread around the building?" She threw her hands in the air, disgusted with the entire conversation. "The last thing I need - the _absolute_ last thing I need is gossip floating around about me and him. Throwing him out would have prompted tons of questions. Most people around here don't know I have a personal history with him, and I'd like to keep it that way!"

"Oh, come on, Jude. Everyone's going to know!" Jamie couldn't believe how naive she was being. "The second the press finds out he's here, the second they find out he's getting a divorce and he's back working with you, they're going to print all the old speculation about the two of you. It's going to be everywhere!" Jamie was begging now. "He hasn't signed a contract yet. Let me get rid of him before the press finds out. Let me get rid of him before you start acting stupid."

"Stop calling me _stupid_!" Jude spun around, giving Jamie her back. It was the same conversation over and over again. That's what her life had become. Sadie only saw what she wanted to see. Jamie only saw what he wanted to see. Neither of them listened to her, neither of them accepted the fact that she wasn't a goofy teenager anymore. She breathed deep as she counted to twenty, giving herself a moment to calm down so she didn't rip Jamie's head off. "How long are you going to make me pay, Jamie? How long are you going to make me pay for mistakes I made when I was a kid?"

"Until you learn your lesson." Jamie walked up behind her, rested his hands on her shoulders, and took a deep breath himself. He was as tired of fighting as she was. "We don't need him here, Jude. Let me find someone else. I've got a lead on two producers, one in Calgary, the other in New York. I can fly them in for interviews. We can hire someone else by the end of the week. We don't need him," he said again, pleading with her to agree.

"Yes, we do." Jude slowly moved out of Jamie's grasp. Her maddening anger had disappeared leaving only a feeling of hopelessness. She turned to look at him. "I made a promise to Sadie, and Quincy's a part of it. Sadie and Kwest need to know the situation here is stable before they get pregnant, and Quincy is the only producer we know who won't fall for Krause's tricks. He'll stay no matter how much G-Major money Krause throws at him. I'll deal with the press and the stories. I'm not breaking my word to Sadie."

Jamie's anger came back in full force. "When are you going to stop worrying about Sadie and start concentrating on you? This situation isn't good for _you, _Jude. Quincy plays with your head. I don't know how he does it, but you stop being you when he's around."

"I'll be fine, Jamie," Jude tried to assure him. If Jamie could just trust her to take care of herself. If he didn't constantly berate her about the past. She didn't need him riding her all the time. "It's not like I'll be working with him, not like when he was producing me. Hell, I won't even be in the same studio with him. He'll have his artists, I'll have mine. I'll barely see him."

"Like that's going to stop him," Jamie shook his finger in her face. "You didn't see the look in his eyes when he first caught sight of you, but I did. He's not going to leave you alone, Jude. He's going to come after you. And you're going to fall for it, like you always do." He narrowed his eyes. "Maybe it's been too long. Maybe you don't remember how bad it was, but I do. One day you were the center of his world, the next he acted like he barely knew you. He twisted you into knots until you didn't know what was right from wrong. You burst into tears at the slightest provocation. You're entire world hinged on the whims of Little Tommy Q!"

"Don't you think I know that!" Jude snapped at him, finally agreeing to what he'd been telling her for weeks. She'd been avoiding it because she knew it would only give him more leverage, but she was tired of denying the fact that everything he said was true. "You think there's anything you can tell me about the person I was three years ago that I don't already know? I was needy and insecure and scared, and yes, I was a stupid. Okay? I admit it!" There were tears in her eyes, from past pain, or frustration, or anger... Jude wasn't sure. "I hated that person, Jamie! Christ! Why do you think I let him go in the first place? He said he loved me and I chose to stay here, because I was terrified of the person I was around him. Yeah, I nursed a broken heart when he didn't came back, but part of me was relieved because I didn't have to be that girl anymore. I promised myself I'd _never_ be that girl again."

"Then don't put yourself in this situation." Jamie grabbed her shoulders this time, squeezing hard, like the force of his anger could change her mind. "The cancer's been gone for two years, Jude. Stop sacrificing your life for Sadie's."

Jude ripped his hands away from her. "Stop telling me what to do! Stop treating me like I'm a child! And stop acting like you have all the answers!" She wiped the tears from her face, tried to get her emotions back under control. This was exactly the type of breakdown she usually reserved for her private studio. She never should have told him, she never should have admitted... "Quincy stays. If you don't like it, you can quit."

"Jude!" Jamie said, astonished she'd give him such an ultimatum.

Jude's voice shook as she continued. "He's my co-worker, and at some point, he might even be my friend, but that's as far as it's going to go. It's going to be difficult, I know that, but I'm doing this for Sadie and Kwest, and I could use a little support from you. But if you can't be supportive, if all you're going to do is harass me and question every decision I make, then it might be better if you weren't here."

The room was quiet for several minutes as Jamie studied her. He didn't like any of it, but... she was right. He was her best friend, and he needed to be supportive. He'd told her his concerns, more than once, and if she was determined to do this, all he could do was watch her back. When it all exploded in her face, and Jamie knew it would, he'd be there to help her through it. But until that happened, he had to let it go. "You know I'm not leaving." He stepped toward her. Jude tried to move away, but Jamie caught her and hugged her to him again. "I'd never leave you to deal with this by yourself. I'll stop, I promise. I'll be here if you need me, but I'll stop poking at you." He pulled back a little, gave her a lopsided smile. "But you say the word, and I'll throw Quincy out on his ear."

A strangled laugh escaped from Jude's throat as she buried her head in Jamie's shoulder. She was more than grateful that he'd conceded. Truthfully, she didn't know what she would have done if he left. "Don't tell Sadie I had a meltdown, okay? She wouldn't understand."

"I'm not going to tell her anything." Jamie knew if Sadie had any idea Quincy could pull this kind of emotion out of Jude, it would convince her she was right and her little sister still had feelings for the guy. Which, now that Jamie had seen it happen, he was worried Jude did. "You can't let him back in."

Jude hugged him tighter, but didn't reply.

--- TBC

_Smile Like You Mean It - Tally Hall_

This chapter is slightly shorter than the rest, but it was difficult to write a good Jude and Jamie fight and get it right. I didn't want Jamie to come off as an ass without reason, and I think eveything he said to Jude was valid. I also wanted to show a couple of kinks in Jude armor, but still let her walk away from the situation a grown-up, not a little girl hiding her feelings. Please review and let me know if I succeeded. Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

Longer chapter! If things seem to be moving slow, please bare with me. I'm still setting up the new characters. I hope you like the members of Distrust. Diana and Lyndsey will be a big part of the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated. Please review!!!!

**Friends Don't Let Friends Dial Drunk**

Jude silently shut the door to Jamie's office and leaned back against the cool wood. This was not the day she intended to have when she woke up. She'd give anything to go home, crawl back in bed and start the day over. But that was impossible, so she took a deep breath and decided to get back to work. She glanced towards the studio and saw Andy waiting for her. But she also saw Sadie, sitting exactly where Jude had left her. "Damn it", she said under her breath She didn't want to deal with her sister right now. Sadie'd take one look at her and know something was wrong, then she'd want to know all the details of the argument with Jamie. Jude pushed herself away from the door. No, she was definitely not ready for that conversation. _Change of plans_, she thought. She walked across the lobby and out the front door before she could be noticed. Once she was in her car and blocks away from EastPhy, she called Andy to let him know he had another half hour reprieve. Then she turned off her cell and threw it into the passengers seat.

She drove, just drove, taking random turns, not having any destination in mind, not wanting to think about the mess she left back at the studio. She fished through the music she had in the car until she spotted a Plain White T's CD. That's what she needed, the T's. Decent lyrics, driving guitar, solid beat. She punched up track five, pushed play, and cranked the stereo.

_Those are all very beautiful words_

_But actions speak louder_

_In case you haven't heard, I'm all alone_

_While you're out on the town drinkin' with your friends_

_You can say all these beautiful things_

_But they don't mean nothing_

_No, they don't mean a thing_

_Gotta back it up_

_But you keep backing down_

_Tell me how this ends_

_If you think it's possible then anything is possible_

_But I think you're impossible_

_I hope you prove me wrong_

_You only call me after you've had a few_

_You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

_Same old thing happens every night_

_You get me going, and then you say goodbye_

_I'm heated up_

_And you just leave me there to take care of myself_

_Don't get mad, don't get all wound up_

_Just get your act together, or baby give it up_

_Just let me know if I should hit the road or if you want my help_

_If you think it's possible then anything is possible_

_But I think you're impossible_

_I hope you prove me wrong_

_You only call me after you've had a few_

_You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

_You only call me when there's no one around_

_You only wanna come up when you know I'm going down_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

_You gotta show me you mean it, if you really mean it_

_You're talking to me like you mean it, and I don't believe it_

_You only call me after you've had a few_

_You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

_You only call me when there's no one around_

_You only wanna come up when you know I'm going down_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

_You only call me after you've had a few (oh oh oh)_

_You only want to hang out when you've got nothing to do (oh oh oh)_

_Don't tell me you love me and act like you don't_

_Oh, if you really want me you just gotta let me know_

She put the song on repeat and sang along the second, third and fourth times until she was smiling again. Yep that's what she needed, a good you're-an-ass-what's-your-problem song. It had been on heavy rotation on her iPod after her seventeenth birthday debacle. She wasn't sure Jamie would approve of her clearing her head with a song that reminded her of Quincy, but that was too damn bad. The song made her feel good, and god knew needed it after the afternoon she'd had.

When she finally pulled into the EastPhy parking lot, she was more relaxed and focused then she'd been since Tom Quincy had walked back into her life. She practically skipped through the lobby, humming to herself, a wide smile on her face. She burst into the booth, and dropped down on the sofa next to Diana. "What's up?"

Di gave her a questioning look, along with furrowed eyebrows. "You're in an awfully good mood." Andy had told the rest of the band what he'd walked in on earlier. Jude/Jamie fights were legend in the office, and Diana had anticipated tense recording sessions for the rest of the day, so a smiling Jude surprised her.

"I'm in an exceptional mood," Jude informed her. "Hey, Rocko." She grabbed the side of the dog's head and grrrr'd as she shook him back and forth. Rocky was, well, her rock. The only guy she could depend upon to love her unconditionally, and she needed that desperately right now. "Did you have a good walk?"

Tommy was as surprised by Jude's attitude as Diana. He too had heard about the fight. Not the details, Sadie had clammed-up about those, but it wasn't a stretch to guess it had something to do with him. Andrews had yet to say 'boo' to him, and he'd been in the office for hours now. He'd love to know the specifics of their argument, but he wasn't sure if the new quasi-relationship he had with Jude was strong enough to stand prodding, so he resigned himself to being kept in the dark. "He uh, he's really strong," Tommy said. Truthfully, he still wasn't sure who had walked whom.

Jude continued to play with Rocky. "About pulled your arm off, did he?" Tommy sheepishly nodded. "I told you to keep a tight grip on the leash. He settles down quick enough, but he is a puller." She looked over at Andy, who was sitting in her chair. "Sorry I made you wait. There was something I had to take care of."

The bassist stretched his lean and lanky six-foot frame as he stood, the well-defined muscles of his arms rippled, and the bottom of his t-shirt rode up, exposing a mouth watering six pack. He answered in a deep baritone voice. "Not a problem. Quincy's been telling us stories about you to pass the time." Jude arched an eyebrow at Tommy, who shrugged in response. Andy smirked. "It was nothing bad, Harry, just stuff about when he was your producer. You never told us you played the Vinyl Palace. I love that place."

The last thing Jude wanted was more reminders of 'the good times' with Quincy. "It was a long time ago. I barely think about it anymore." She gave Rocky one more pat on the head and stood to change places with Andy. "But now that I know you're interested, we'll see if we can get you guys a gig there. You're due for your first show."

"Shut up!" Diana practically screamed from her place on the couch. "The Vinyl Palace? That's like... _the_ musical venue. Like the CBGB's of Toronto. The Whiskey Go-Go. The Tipitina's. The -"

"I get the point, Di," Jude said, amused by the other girl's enthusiasm. Diana was normally the sarcastic pessimist of the band. It was nice to see her excited about something. "I'm not promising, but I'll talk to Jamie. Now," Jude said as she flipped back into producer mode, "go bug your sister so we can get some work done."

Diane sunk back into the couch, deflated once again. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay. Lynds is in one of her moods." She air-quoted the word. "She's got her nose buried in her books and I don't think she'd appreciate my company." Diana saw Jude's indecision. "I won't interrupt, I swear. I'll be a quiet little mouse over here in the corner."

If Lyndsey was studying, it would be better for Diana to stay out of her way, so Jude reluctantly nodded. "But if you start tapping out the drum beat on the walls again -"

"My sticks stay in my pants, I promise." Diana smirked thoughtfully. "Wow, that came out a whole lot dirtier than I intended."

Andy lightly bopped her on the head. "Yeah, and it would be worse, and maybe even make sense, if you were a _guy_." He picked up his bass, then leaned down and kissed Diana. "Be good, Animal."

Di swatted his ass as he straightened. "I'm always good. Expect when I'm bad, and then you like even better." She titled up her head and gave him a cheesy smile.

Tommy watched the interaction with interest. He'd been in the booth with them for almost twenty minutes and he hadn't picked up on the couple vibe at all. He looked at Jude as she took her seat, and she read the unspoken question in his eyes. She lowered her voice. "They're very professional in the studio, but you should see them after work. It's like watching soft-core porn." Tommy started to choke, and Jude smirked. "What's the matter, Quincy? Too much information?"

"Just wasn't expecting you to say something like that." He straightened in his chair, took a sideways glance at the couple who were talking in murmurs, really studying Diane for the first time. Her heart-shaped face was an exact copy of her sisters, except where Lyndsey had dyed her hair electric blue and cut it short, Diane had left hers natural. A long, straight mahogany platelet that ended halfway down her back. And her eyes were different from her sisters. Diana's were almost the same color as her hair. Lindsey's eyes matched her hair too, but since it was such an unnatural color, Tommy decided the other twin must wear colored contacts. They were both about average height, five-five or so, and had a similar body shape to Jude's. Diana said something Tommy couldn't hear, and he watched as Andy's face turned beet red and a dimple appeared in Diane's right cheek. "How old is she anyway?" he asked Jude suspiciously. The girl talked a good game, but Tommy couldn't imagine her being any older than sixteen, if that, and he was sure Andy wasn't anywhere near as young.

_Still overprotective_, Jude thought. She looked at the couple, and could imagine what Quincy saw. Andy was towering over Diana, and the girl had to stretch her arm to ruffle her boyfriend's shagging blond hair. She always looked so small and innocent compared to Andy, but it was such a lie. "I know. It's the whole Emily the Strange thing she's got going on, but trust me, she's older than she looks. She's twenty and Andy's twenty-one. They've been dating since high school. If it were up to him, they'd be married by now, but Di keeps saying no. She has problems with the concept of marriage, so they live together instead." Jude cleared her throat to get their attention. "I'm waiting," she said impatiently.

Andy gave Diana another quick kiss, then passed through the booth to the studio. Diana tucked her legs beneath her on the couch, pulled out a book she'd hiding and began to read, while the other three worked.

It was another hour before Jude was satisfied with how the bass line sounded. She waved Andy back into the booth and turned to Diana. "You're up, Di." Jude said, then caught sight of the clock on the wall. Hell, it was after seven. "Unless you want to record your stuff tomorrow. I sorta screwed the schedule today, and we only have the studio until nine. At this rate, I won't get to Lyndsey tonight anyway, so I'm good with you guys cutting out early."

Diane jumped into Andy's arms. The bassist caught her, but barely, having just set down his guitar. He stumbled back as hundred and eight pounds of girl hit him solidly in the chest. "Let's go home," she chirped as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Andy nodded eagerly, an evil glint in his eyes. Diana looked over her shoulder at Jude. "You're the bestest producer ever," she said with unbridled appreciation.

Jude couldn't help but laugh. It was so damn wonderful to see two people in love and not afraid to show it. Kwest and Sadie had never been big on PDA, they were more reserved, but Andy and Diana... It amazed her they were able to keep things under control when they were working, because the minute the work stopped, they were all over each other. And it wasn't as bad as she made it sound to Quincy. They were never offensive; she didn't want to groan and tell them to get a room. They were just... happy. And cute. And perfect. And, yes, sometimes a little sickening in a jealous, I-wish-I-had-the-same-thing type of way. "You two get out of here. I'll tell Lyndsey."

"You know she's going to bitch, right?" Diana asked as she slid out of Andy's arms, her feet touching the floor again. "You kept her here all afternoon and she never recorded. She's going to say something about it."

"It _was_ my fault. She can be mad at me if she wants." Jude grabbed the clipboard that held the studio schedule and flipped to next day. "Can you come in around..." she ran her finger down the sheet, "two tomorrow?"

"Can we make it three? I have Sociology until two." Diana grabbed her book and her purse, while Andy put his guitar in it's case.

Jude marked the schedule. "Three o'clock it is." She smiled up at the couple. "Now get out of here! Go have some fun." Andy dropped a kiss on the top of Jude's head, murmured a thanks, and they left.

Tommy watched them walk out together, little Diana plastered to Andy's side. "Are you sure she's twenty?"

Jude rolled her eyes as she started shutting down the board. "I haven't checked her driver's license or anything, but she's in her third year at university, so I'm assuming she hasn't lied to me." She packed away the master tapes and handed them to Tommy. "You're coming with me to see Lyndsey."

Tommy took the tapes, placed them on the shelf in the back of the booth. "Me? I don't even know the girl. Why do I need to come along?"

"You're my diversion." Jude turned off the lights in the studio. "She's going to be upset, and I'm hoping you being there will throw her off her game, embarrass her a little. If she's thinking about what happened earlier, she might forget to be pissed at me."

Tommy sat on the edge of the board while Jude did a finally check of the booth. "Are you using me to manipulate your artist, Miss Harrison?"

"You're damn right I am." When Jude was satisfied the booth and studio were clear, they walked out, Rocky trotting behind them. She locked the door, then turned to look at Tom. She felt bad and needed to explain a few things to him before they confronted Lyndsey. "You have a bad impression of Lynds, and it's mostly my fault. Earlier didn't help, obviously, but she isn't normally like that. She has a lot on her plate right now, between school and recording. She's a physics major and she's working on a project that's worth half her grade for the semester. She's been trying to get as much lab time on campus as she can, and when I tell her she's been here all day for no reason... Well, she not going to be happy."

Tommy let out a low whistle. "Physics and rock-n-roll? Not a combination you hear very often."

Jude started walking again. "I know. She's smart as hell. They both are. Diana's studying -"

"Jude!" Sadie came rushing over to her sister. "I saw Andy and Di leave. They said you were done for the day?" she asked hopefully.

Jude nodded. "Yep. I'm going to tell Lyndsey now."

"Perfect," Sadie beamed and clasped her hands. "Kwest will be finished in an hour. We can have an actual family dinner tonight." Sadie was thrilled. Tommy was in the office one day, and already the production schedule was changing.

Jude winced at her sister's enthusiasm. Family dinner? She was hoping to go home and put in some time on her own project. Being able to work on her music before midnight would be a nice change of pace. Besides, she didn't want to spend any more time with Quincy. She'd done her duty. "Sades... I don't know..."

Sadie's face fell. "Don't start with me," she said in an authoritative tone, still pissed that Jude had ditched her earlier. "We haven't had dinner together, the three of us, in months. Plus it's Tom's first day back, and I think we should celebrate. I'm not asking for a lot here, Jude. A couple of hours out of your day to eat dinner with your family and a friend."

Jude saw her peaceful evening at home slipping away from her. Sadie would bug her until she gave in, and she was too tired to have another fight. "Fine. But I want veggie lasagna from Franco's. I want stuffed mushrooms. I want tiramisu for dessert. And I want you to pay for it."

Sadie stuck out her hand. "Deal." The sisters shook on it. "I'll need a ride home too. Like I said, Kwest won't be ready to go for another hour and we drove in together today. We can pick up dinner, that way it'll be there when Kwest gets home."

Jude nodded. "Sure, fine, whatever you want. But you better give Quincy your house keys so he doesn't have to follow us to Franco's. He can go to the house and start unloading his stuff."

"That's a good idea." Sadie turned to go to her office. "Wait here, Tommy, and I'll get you the keys."

Jude grabbed her arm before Sadie could dash off. "No rush. He's going with me to talk to Lyndsey. Take Rocky, will ya? We'll be back in a minute." Sadie called Rocky to her, and Jude and Tommy went to find Lyndsey.

Tommy followed as Jude led him past the offices, through a set of double doors, and back into what he concluded was a warehouse. There were shelves against two walls, stacked with boxes, electronic equipment and instruments. A van with Eastern Philosophy Records painted on the side was parked in front of a heavy metal garage door. "Where the hell are we going?" His voice echoed through the cavernous space.

Jude kept walking across the concrete floor to the opposite side of the room. "I told you, Lyndsey's a physics major. She works on some seriously complicated equations. She asked for a small space where she could study in private without the distractions of the office. We set-up a room back here for her." She stopped at a door tucked into a corner of the warehouse and knocked. When there was no answer, she quietly opened the door and peaked around the side. "Lynds? Lyndsey?"

Lyndsey looked up from her computer, her expression telegraphing her displeasure at being interrupted. Then she registered who was talking to her and smiled. "Hey, Harry. You ready for me?" She began organizing the pile of papers scattered on the floor around her.

Jude pushed the door open wide, so Lyndsey could see Tom standing behind her. "Actually, uhm, you can go home. We're done for the day," Jude finished brightly.

Lyndsey looked at her watch, then up at Jude, the displeasure back in her face. "It's seven-thirty. I thought we were working until nine. What about my vocals?"

"We need to do them tomorrow?" Jude said hesitantly. She saw Lyndsey take a deep breath, getting ready to explode, and she rushed on. "It's been a bad day, okay? I got called away a couple of times, and we ran behind schedule. Completely my fault. Di's coming in at three so I can get the drums done, and then I can work with you."

"I have classes tomorrow!" Lyndsey slammed her books into her messenger bag. "And study group, and lab! I have to meet with my faculty adviser. I rearranged my schedule so I could be here all day, which was obviously a complete waste of time." She stood toe to toe with Jude, pissed as hell. "You promised me recording wouldn't interfere with my studies!"

"And it's not going to," Jude said softly, doing her best to diffuse the situation. "I'll work around your schedule. Come in tomorrow, anytime you want, and we'll record. All I need is an hour, maybe two. If tomorrow's not good, we can do it first thing Saturday morning." Jude laid her hand on the other girl's shoulder. "I am sorry, Lynds."

Lyndsey's eyes darted to Tommy leaning against the frame of the open door. She sighed and nodded in agreement. "Saturday would be better. If I have tomorrow all to myself, I can get more accomplished." Then, in a surprising move, she walked directly towards Tommy. "Mr. Quincy, I want to apologize for what happened earlier today. It's not usually my style to be that... obtuse or insulting. Di was right; I really stepped in it. I _am_ a fan. A big fan. I hope you won't let that incident influence any further dealings we have together."

Tommy was taken aback. The girl's language was so different from what he'd heard in the studio. It was almost like the speech came from a different person. "First, call me Tom or Quincy. No need for mister. And second, everyone has a bad day. I'm sure I'll have one sooner or later. No need to apologize. We're good." Lyndsey smiled at him, and once again Tommy was caught off guard. The dimple was there, just like on Diana, but he could swear... Somehow Lyndsey was prettier than her twin, even with the dyed hair and unnaturally blue eyes. He heard Jude clear her throat, and he pulled his attention away from the girl in front of him.

Jude stood right where Lyndsey had left her, her arms crossed over her chest. She arched one eyebrow and gave him a look that said, 'I'm not sure what you're thinking, but stop it.' Tommy quickly glanced away and stepped back out into the warehouse.

By the time Lyndsey turned around to finish gathering her things, Jude's look was gone. Lyndsey shut her laptop and grabbed her messenger bag off the couch. "How early do you need me on Saturday?"

"Eight? Or nine. Whatever works best for you," Jude said as she ushered her out of the room. Tommy stood over by the van, doing a fairly decent job of acting like he was interested in it. _You better back off_, Jude thought. _You are _not _going to do to this girl what you did to me_.

Lyndsey pulled out her iPhone and checked her calendar. "Let's split the difference and say eight-thirty. I'll bring the coffee." Jude agreed and the three walked back inside the main building, Tommy keeping a respectful distance.

--- TBC

_Friends Don't Let Friends Dial Drunk - Plain White T's_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**What Kind of Fool Am I?**

The carry-out order wasn't ready when Jude and Sadie arrived at Franco's, so they decided to sit at the bar and have a drink while they waited. Sadie ordered a glass of chardonnay and Jude ordered a glass of merlot. She was taking her first sip when Sadie started in on her. "You never answered my question about Tommy. Was there any sparkage? And what happened in Jamie's office? Was he terrible to you? And why were you giving Tommy evil looks behind Lyndsey's back right before we left? What happened in the warehouse?"

It took all of Jude's self control not to down the entire contents of her glass in one gulp. Instead she took a gingerly sip and eye'd her sister over the rim. "Sades. I've had a really bad day. I desperately wanted to go home, get in a little quiet time, maybe even go to bed at a decent hour. Instead, I got shanghaied into a family dinner. And I'm going to do my best to be delightful company," her voice took on a hard edge, "but I swear to god, if you don't shut up and stop asking me questions you know I don't want to answer, I'm going to kill you."

"You can't kill me," Sadie deadpanned. "At least not here. Too many witnesses."

"Yes, but there's always the ride home," Jude told her, completely serious.

Sadie set her wine glass on the bar, and there was a minute of silence between the two sisters. Until... "Jamie laid into you, didn't he?"

"Sadie!" Jude said through clenched teeth as she shook her head.

"Alright. Alright." Sadie backed off. "I'll assume that he did, but somehow you managed to turn it around. I'm saying that because when he finally came out of his office he wasn't an ogre to me or anyone else." Jude didn't confirm or deny what Sadie said. She continued drinking her wine, ignoring her sister. Sadie tapped her nails against the wineglass stem in exasperation. "I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I know you're only doing it because I asked, and I know Jamie's given you a hard time about it from the beginning, but I do appreciate it. I appreciate everything you do for me. I just wish..." She let the sentence trail off with a sigh.

Jude turned her head to look at her sister. "You wish what?" she asked with feigned interest.

Sadie shrugged. "I wish... I wish you had something of your own. Someone of your own." Her eyes were filled with concern. "Don't get mad, but... you lost Tom, then you lost your music. I know you like producing and writing, but it's not the same as recording your own songs. And you've dated, but never anyone special. Not someone you loved." She sighed again. "Sometimes, I think if I hadn't gotten cancer, if you hadn't had to focus so much energy on me, maybe you and Tommy could have worked things out. I felt so guilty when he got married."

"God, Sades. No," Jude said as she laid her hand on top of her sister's, giving it a gentle squeeze. It always came back to that. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. Quincy and I were over way before you got sick. And that was... well, it was my fault. I let him go; it had nothing to do with you. But I got over him. And I will find someone else. You just have to give me some time. Quincy made me a little gun shy. It's not easy for me to give my heart away like that anymore. Not when I know how badly it can end."

"And your music? What about that?" Sadie pressed, not happy with any of the answers her sister had been giving her recently. "You love to sing. How can you produce other people day after day and not want to be on the other side of the glass?"

"Me and my music are doing just fine. You don't need to worry." Jude still didn't want to tell her about the studio at the house, but she decided to give Sadie some hope. "I might, just might, be almost ready to start a new album. Not soon, but, well, sorta soon. Eventually."

Sadie smirked. "Well, that's a red-hot maybe if I ever heard one." She crossed her eyes and stuck out the tip of her tongue, which made Jude laugh. "Now that your calm, and don't want to take my head off. No sparks today? None at all?"

Jude shook her head. "Nope. No sparks. I'm sorry, but you'll have to put your matchmaking on the back burning." She took another sip of wine. "And before you ask again, I was giving him dirty looks because _he_ was _looking_ at Lyndsey."

Sadie's eyes got wide. "Jealous?"

"No, concerned," Jude corrected. "He's not even divorced yet. And he has no business eyeing her. She has school and the album, and she's way too young for him anyway. She doesn't need Tom Quincy screwing up her life," Jude finished with venom.

Sadie tactfully didn't remind Jude that the same things were said about her and Tommy's relationship back in the day. "It might not be that bad." Jude scoffed and Sadie shrugged. "I told you, he's changed. He really isn't the same guy you knew. He grew-up too."

Jude swallowed the last of her wine as the bartender set their dinner order down in front of them. "I'll believe it when I see it. And until then, he can stay the hell away from my artist." Sadie paid the bill and the girls left the restaurant.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Dinner was pleasant enough. Jude didn't say much, leaving the bulk of the conversation to the others. Every once in a while Tommy would give her a weird look, and Jude wondered if he knew she was composing a song in her head while everyone talked around her. If he did, he didn't mention it.

Jude would have loved to leave after the dinner dishes were cleared, but Sadie was serving coffee and Jude knew it would be rude to hightail it out of the house. But she wasn't in the mood for coffee, unusually as that might be, so she picked-up the bottle of cabernet instead and started to pour another glass.

Sadie reached across the table and grabbed the neck of the bottle. "You drink any more wine and I'm taking your keys away." The last thing Jude wanted was to spend the night on the couch, so she reluctantly put the bottle back on the table and picked-up her water glass instead. Sadie smiled in approval, then she placed her crossed arms on the table and fixed Tommy with a deadly stare. "So, why are you getting a divorce?"

"Sadie!" Kwest said as Jude groaned next to him. "That's T's business. You can't ask him something like that." He gave Tommy a look that telegraphed his apology for his wife's behavior.

She turned to Kwest. "It's going to be big news any day now. The press is going to find out he filed for divorce and he's back in Toronto." Then she looked at Jude. "And aren't you always telling me not to believe what I read in the tabloids? That if I want to know that truth, I should just ask?"

Jude slumped further down in her seat. "Yeah, but I was talking about me, not -"

"Well, I want to know the truth. And I know the two of you are just as curious as I am, so stop looking at me like I'm embarrassing you." She huffed then stared at Tommy again. "We got you a job and a place to stay. You owe us an explanation."

There were certain parts of Sadie's character Tommy hadn't missed at all, but she might have a point. It would be better if they heard the whole story from him before the press mangled it. "It's okay, Kwest. Really. I don't mind." He crossed his arms in front of him, mimicking Sadie. "I guess we started having problems after we got back from your wedding."

"That was over a year ago," Sadie interjected. "You never said anything."

"It wasn't that big a deal at first. At least, I didn't think it was." Tommy did his best to play it off. "When we got home the subject of kids came up."

Sadie instantly understood. She smiled sympathetically. "She wanted to have a baby and you didn't."

Kwest shot her a frustrated look. "Would you stop interrupting him." Although he would never ask Tom what happened, Kwest was as interested as Sadie to know the truth. The first time Kwest found out Tom and Karen were having problems was when T told him they were getting a divorce, but he never said why.

Tommy smirked, keeping his attention focused on Sadie, and knowing his next sentence would surprise everyone. "Actually, I wanted to have a baby. Karen didn't."

The room became eerily quiet as the three other people at the table exchanged looks of complete shock. Jude especially was floored. Tom Quincy wanted to have kids? Talk about something coming out of left field. She caught her sister's eye and pointed towards the wine. Sadie nodded. "Half a glass. And pour me one too."

Tommy shook his head. "It's not that outrageous an idea, you know. You and Kwest want kids. It's part of the reason I'm here, isn't it?"

Sadie watched as Jude poured the wine, stopping her when the glass was almost filled to the top. She hadn't had any with dinner, but she sure needed a glass now. "Yes, but that's us. You never struck me as the father type."

"She's right, T. I've never heard you talk about wanting kids." Kwest grabbed Sadie's glass before she could take a sip, drank some, then handed it back to her. "The last time I took you to my mom's, you hid from my nieces and nephews. I found you in the garage. And there was that paternity suit when you were with BoyzAttack. I remember -"

"Hold on a minute. I was seventeen when that happened, and the blood test proved the kid wasn't mine," Tommy reminded his best friend. "I'm almost thirty; my priorities have changed. I want a family"

Sadie kept eyeing him in disbelief. "When did you have this momentous revelation?"

"It's a long story," Tommy warned her. Sadie waved him on, too curious to have him stop now. He sighed; he was stuck. He chanced a glance at Jude who hadn't said a word. She was sitting quietly, nursing her wine, her eyes fixed on the wall. He'd have to step lightly over the first part, not knowing how she would react. "I did a lot of thinking when I was in Asia. About my life, where I'd been, where I was, where I wanted to be. I knew I didn't want to be Little Tommy Q anymore. I hadn't wanted that for a long time. Producing was a step foIllusionard, but I wasn't sure what the next step was. What I did know was returning to Canada wouldn't help. There wasn't... There wasn't anything left here for me," he finished quietly, then hurried on. "To the Canadian press, I'll always be Little Tommy Q, but in the States, I knew it would be different. BoyzAttack was big there, but there were so many boy bands that came out around the same time, we weren't as unique. When I left Asia, I went to New York, stayed with a friend for a few weeks. I wanted to keep producing, so I contacted everyone I knew in the business and one of them hooked me up with Martin Walston. He needed a producer in Chicago, so I went to work for Illusion Records."

"Martin's a good guy and we became friends. He started the company when he was in his forties, but he's been in the business all his life. He's passionate, but he's low-key too. And he's solid and honest to a fault. After what happened with Darius, I appreciated those qualities. And Martin has this amazing family." Tommy smiled. "He's been married to the same woman for over thirty years, and they have six kids. Six kids and a ton of grandkids. If he's not talking about music, he's talking about his family. He invited me to the house for dinner all the time. At first, I turned him down. I was spending the majority of my time by myself, just trying to figure things out. I still wasn't sure what I wanted. But I got lonely, and I started accepting his invitations. Maria, that's his wife, treated me like another one of her sons. When Christmas rolled around, I was invited to spend the day with the family. I said sure; I didn't have any where else to go." Tommy leaned back in his chair, remembering the day that changed his life. "I was sitting on the couch, watching the spectacle. There were toys and used wrapping paper everywhere. Maria was making a big fuss over the grandkids, like she always does. Most of the guys were in the media room watching American football and the girls were in the kitchen making dinner. And Martin was walking around with Gracie on his hip, she's his youngest grandchild, talking to his son Martin Jr. about this new band he was interested in signing. And all of a sudden it struck me - I want this. It freaked me out at first, but I knew I wanted it. All of it. I wanted what Martin had. The passion for music, the passion for family, the passion for life."

"I'd been working with Karen since I started, and I liked her, but I hadn't been sociable with anyone. She is definitely her father's daughter. She's grounded like he is, and she has the same passion. She can't sing worth a damn, but she loves good music. One day I asked her out. And then I kept asking her out, and the more time I spent with her, the more I thought everything was falling into place. So finally I asked her to marry me. And I was happy. For the first time in long time, I was content with my life. I liked where I was going."

"When I brought up having a baby, she was surprised. We talked a little, and she said she wasn't ready yet. We hadn't been married that long and she wanted to concentrate on her career. I understood, so I let it go. I wasn't in a hurry. I didn't want to push her away by rushing things." Tommy emptied his water glass and motioned for Sadie to pass him the wine. The next part was the hardest. "Then a few months ago, Martin bought a small record label in LA. He wanted us to move there, to run it. He was already pushing me to produce more mainstream artists, which I didn't want to do, and I had no interest in moving. But Karen... she was all over it. She wanted to run the LA office. I told her I didn't want to raise a family in LA. That's when she told me in no uncertain terms, she didn't want a family. That's when we really started talking."

Tommy thought back to the night two months ago when him and Karen realized they'd married people with completely different goals. "Karen already had a big boisterous family and as far as she was concerned, they were enough. She liked our life the way it was, the two of us focused on our careers. She wanted LA and the LA lifestyle. She wanted the business and the parties and the connections. She wanted to fly off to Europe at a moments notice without having to worry about children. She wanted to be part of a young, hot couple with no ties weighing them down. I wanted the music, but I wasn't interested in the rest of it. I'd already done that with the Boyz, and I didn't want to get back on that roller coaster. I liked producing my indie artists. I liked the pace of my work. I wanted time to spend with my family. I _wanted_ a family." Tommy gulped down his wine. "I think both of us were shocked. I mean, we assumed we knew what the other wanted because of what we had. She comes from a big family, and I assumed she wanted the same. She thought I wanted the spotlight, because I've always had it. But neither of us asked the important questions we should have." Tommy didn't feel the need to detail out the numerous arguments they had in the months leading up to the divorce. "She asked me to give LA a try for a year. She thought I'd change my mind once I was out there, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. I knew exactly what I wanted, and it was the complete opposite of what she wanted, so we decided to get a divorce."

Sadie reached across the table to grab Tommy's hand. "I am so sorry, Tom."

"Me too, man," Kwest added, feeling awful for his best friends. "You never said a word."

"By the time I realized it wasn't something we were going to work out, you and Sadie were already talking about having a baby. You were so happy, and I didn't want to bring it up," Tom said sadly. "I'll admit, I was a little jealous. You had what I _thought_ I had, what I wanted. But I wasn't going to bring you down with my problems."

"So Karen's in LA now?" Sadie asked.

Tommy nodded. "She left last month. I agreed not to file until she had established herself as the boss of the new branch, so that she wouldn't have to deal with everything at once." He felt it was the least he could do for her. "I filed the papeIllusionork yesterday. It was the last thing I did before coming here. Everyone at Illusion, except for the family, thinks I'm moving to LA to join her. It'll be a shock to them when the press gets a hold of the story."

"How did you keep it quiet for so long?" Kwest knew there was no such thing as a secret in a studio, especially involving relationships. Everyone knew everyone else's business.

"Illusion is run primarily by the family, more than half of whom think she's nuts for not wanting kids." Tommy remembered Martin shaking his hand, saying Tom would always be welcome at his house. "And with Karen gone, it wasn't like anyone saw us fighting in the studio. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be."

It was at that point that Jude excused herself from the table, saying she needed to let Rocky out. Tommy watched her go as he continued to answer Kwest's and Sadie's questions.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude was sitting on the back porch swing watching Rocky explore the yard when Tommy came out to join her. He leaned against a column of the overhang, positioning his body at the edge of her line of sight. He was close enough so they could talk, but far enough away not to rattle her. She hadn't said much through dinner, and even less when he started talking about Karen. He had no idea what she was thinking. If it was four years ago, he'd ask her to open up, but now... He didn't think she'd tell him even if he had the courage to ask. "Sadie and Kwest went to bed," he said instead.

"I know. Sadie said goodnight before she went up." There was a slight chill in the Spring air and Jude wrapped her arms tight around her. She kept her focus on Rocky, not even glancing in Tom's direction. "I'll be heading out soon. I drank more than I normally do. I want to sober up a bit before I get into the car."

Tommy had wondered if drinking almost an entire bottle of wine single-handedly was routine for her. It was good to know tonight was an exception. "I have your old room, but I can sleep on the couch if you want -"

"No," Jude said emphatically. "I want to go home." God, did she want to go home. She knew she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. Her mind was racing, overloaded with too much information. He'd wanted to settle down. He'd wanted to get married. He'd wanted a family. He wanted all that with someone else. After three years, it still hurt to hear him say it.

"I understand." _Talk to me, dammit_, Tommy thought. He knew he needed something from her that he'd given up the right to years ago, but that didn't mean he needed it any less.

Jude pushed her foot of the ground and started the swing in motion. '_There wasn't anything left here for me_,' he'd said. After years of not knowing from one day to the next where she stood with him, how was she to know that one conversation in a cafe would be the defining moment in their relationship. He'd rejected her countless times, and she always came back, but he put his heart on the line once, just once, and his walking away became entirely her fault? It was the type of convoluted logic that made her glad she was over him. But still... she had to know. She was a masochist, but she _had _to know. She turned to look at him, her eyes locking with his. "Do you love her?" she asked with no emotion.

Tommy closed his eyes for a second. It was the one question neither Sadie or Kwest had the intuition to ask him at dinner He wasn't sure how to answer without coming off looking like a fool, or worse. He opened his eyes to find Jude patiently waiting. "Would you lose respect for me if I said I wasn't sure?"

"I don't think that's possible." The way Jude said it, implied she didn't have that much respect for him to begin with. She saw Tom wince, and she felt a twinge of regret for being such a bitch, but she didn't apologize.

Tommy began to pace around the small porch, knowing he was going to tell her the truth, even though it made him sound like a bastard. "When I asked her to marry me, I thought I did. But at some point I realized I wanted to be a part of her family more than I wanted to be with her."

Jude hadn't expected the truth. And the statement, even though it had nothing to do with her, made her mad as hell. "You used her. You wanted something she had and you used her to get it." _And Sadie keeps trying to convince me he's changed._

Tommy whipped around. "It wasn't like that! Neither one of us -"

"She wanted you, just you, and you wanted everything but her," Jude stated flatly. Tommy tensed, but he didn't say a word. Jude's voice grew cold. "You can try to spin it any way you want, but I was listening in there. You didn't look deep into her eyes and suddenly see a future that only the two of you could build together. You saw her father with a baby on his hip, and her mother taking care of the family. You knew you needed a woman to complete the picture, and Karen happened to be there. You are _such_ a son-of-a-bitch!"

Tommy's tone matched hers. "I wanted you. But you wanted Andrews."

"I wanted someone I could trust! I wanted -" Jude stopped. No, she _was not _going to argue with him. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make it right. All it would do was put her into a tailspin, and that was the last thing she needed. "Rocky, come on. Time to go."

She stood up and Tommy blocked her exit. "That's it? We finally start talking about us, and you decided to runaway?"

"When it comes to running away, I had a very good teacher," Jude said sarcastically. She could feel the anger flow through her veins as her inner voice screamed at her to get away from him. She pushed passed him, Rocky following her as she swept into the house.

She was snapping the leash on his collar when Tommy grabbed her arm and swung her around. "Sooner or later we are going to talk about what happened."

"There is no need to talk what happened, because nothing happened. Just like nothing happened on my sixteenth birthday." Jude yanked her arm out of his grasp and stepped back, using Rocky as an obstacle between them. "You don't make the rules anymore, Quincy."

"I suppose you do?" Tommy asked, as incensed as she was. "The big boss in charge. Well, I don't play by anyone's rules but my own. You should know that by now, Jude."

Jude smiled at him with contempt, suddenly remembering the incident in the warehouse with Lyndsey. "Then you better reconsider working at EastPhy, because everyone there plays by _my_ rules. And the first one you need to learn is fraternization between artists and producers is strictly forbidden."

Tommy looked at her seriously confused. He thought they'd been speaking metaphorically, not about actual rules. "What the hell's that suppose to mean?"

Jude's eyes narrowed. "It means, you stay away from Lyndsey. You stay away from all the artists, or I'll fire you so fast, it'll make your head spin. Are we clear?"

"Crystal clear, boss." Tommy saluted her exactly like Lyndsey had done that afternoon. Then he stepped aside so she could leave.

Jude fought every instinct she had telling her to slam the front door behind her. She knew better than to disturb Sadie and Kwest who probably weren't even asleep yet. To mollify her temper, she slammed closed the door of the FJ after she'd put Rocky inside. And then she shifted with more force than necessary on her way home. By the time she arrived at her house, she was calmer, but only by a fraction.

She stomped up the stairs, threw open her closet door, trapped herself in her sound proof studio and screamed out her frustration. By the time she was finished, she was panting She fell back against the studio wall, slid to the floor, wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them tight against her chest. And then she did the one thing she hadn't done in two years. She cried over Tom Quincy.

--- TBC

_What Kind of Fool Am I? - Rick Springfield_

I hope you liked it. When I started writing this chapter, I thought it was going to be difficult to write, but it came pouring out. And for those who thought Jude was being nonchalant about Tommy's return, I hope this puts your fears to rest.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Two Sisters**

First thing the next morning, Jude walked into Jamie's office. "I want to reissue the fraternization policy memo," she said without preamble. It was a policy Jude had put into place when she bought into EastPhy. One of the few things she'd insisted on changing. She knew all too well what could happen between producer and artist, and the damage it could cause. Although it allowed for artists to date other artists, and for employees to date other employees, it specifically stated that no EastPhy employee could date an EastPhy recording artist.

Jamie bolted up straight in his chair as alarm bells went off in his head. "He doesn't even work here yet! What the hell did Quincy do?!"

"He didn't do anything," Jude calmly told him. "But I'd like to head off any potential problems. I think it's a good idea to remind all of our employees that dating an artist will get them fired. Yes, I thought about it because of Tom, but it's not targeted at him specifically." She lied straight through her teeth.

Jamie didn't believe her. Quincy had done something. Maybe not to Jude, but he'd done something. He'd bet the studio on it. Jamie considered pushing the issue, but if it were a real problem that would affect the business, Jude would tell him. Maybe she _was_ being proactive. "Okay. We'll reissue it and I'll address it at the Monday morning staff meeting." _And I'll stare at Quincy the entire time I'm talking about it_, he thought as he made a note on his legal pad. "Any other brilliant ideas come to you last night?"

Jude casually dropped down in the chair across from him and smiled. "No, one brilliant idea a day. That's all you get."

Jamie saw that the smile didn't quite reach Jude's eyes. And he also realized she was wearing a ton of make-up, more than she ever wore to work. There were unnatural pink spots on her cheeks, obviously blush, not Jude's natural coloring, and she had heavy concealer under her eyes. "Jude, are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She waved it off, lying to him once more. She'd cried for hours in her studio, had practically crawled across the floor sobbing when she finally dragged herself to bed. She'd barely slept, and then she'd woken up to dark circles under puffy eyes and a pale complexion. She knew the make-up could only hide so much, but it was the best she could do. What she needed was a couple hours of decent sleep, but not coming into work or coming in late weren't options. It would only raise suspicion.

Jamie was very careful with what he said next. He kept his tone light, wanting to sound concerned, but not accusatory. "It's been a long time since you lied to me. You just did it twice in under five minutes." He watched her shift uncomfortable in her chair. "If you don't want to tell me what's going on, I understand, but you know I'm here for you. If you need me."

She nodded and kept her gaze focused on the ground. He wasn't yelling and she took that as a good sign. It also helped her relax enough to tell him part of the truth. "It's... it's more difficult than I thought it'd be. Him being back. But I'll get through it. I'm okay, really I -" She lifted her head, shaking it slightly. "No. No, that's another lie. I'm _going_ to be okay. I need a little time to figure things out. The past... it hit me hard last night, but I'm going to get through it."

"Well, alright then." Jamie smiled back at her. He knew it wasn't going to be easy for her to deal with Quincy, but Jude was strong and as long as she wasn't lying to herself, Jamie'd stand behind her. He decided to switch topics. "For once, I don't have back-to-back meetings all day. How about I take you to lunch? My treat, anywhere you want to go."

Jude's face brightened. "Anywhere? Even that _really_ expense new restaurant that just opened down the street?"

"The vegan place?" Jamie asked, not enthused at all as he slumped back in his chair. "Yeah," he drawled out, "but I still don't understand how they can charge an-arm-and-a-leg for overcooked vegetables." Jude laughed, and Jamie knew he'd do anything to see her happy, even suffer through an overpriced, meatless lunch.

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Jude typed away on her computer in her office, using the hour before Diana's arrival to catch up on paperwork and reports. So far, it had been a good day. She'd worked with two of her other artists, had a relaxing lunch with Jamie, and even spent a few minutes with Kwest giving her opinion on a track he was finishing. She was happy and content; good work always made her feel that way. She loved being in the studio, loved being around people making music. Sometimes she wondered if she hadn't won the Instant Star contest, would she still be working in the music industry. She couldn't imagine being anywhere else, but it wasn't an easy business to break into. Hell, she owned the part of the company and half the time even she felt like it could all be taking away from her in a heartbeat.

There was a knock, and Jude looked up from the computer to her open door. She saw a man standing there, holding a chubby baby against his chest. "Spied!" She stood up and hurried around her desk. "I knew you were working today, but I didn't expect to see Kurt too." She held out her arms, and Spied past her the baby without question. "Hello, sweetie. Yes hello, baby," Jude said in a high pitched voice.

Spied stretched out on the couch, while Jude continued to coo over the infant. He knew it would be forever before she deemed to give him back his son, and he planned on taking advantage of it. He loved the little bugger, but Kurt was a menace. "Karma got called in to the studio, and you know Krause won't let her bring the baby with her, the bastard." Jude shot him a dirty look and Spied rolled his eyes. "He's ten months old, dude. He doesn't understand what I'm saying. Anyway. Karma's at work, so I had to bring the Kurtmiester in with me. Kwest said Sadie'd watch him while we record."

Jude winced as Kurt grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged. Damn, he was strong. She gently pried his fingers open as he giggled up at her. "I'm sure Sadie'd loved to watch him, but why didn't you ask me? I _am_ his godmother."

"You were my first choice, but Kwest said you were recording with Animal this afternoon. Drums are too loud for him, especially if she's playing them." He closed his eyes. "Besides, he's good practice for Sadie. I know they want a baby, but she's never been around one before. I'm thinking of letting Kwest and her take the monster for the weekend, so they can get an idea of what it's really like."

"You and Karma need a break?" Jude asked, laughter in her voice. It had taken time and Spied nagging the hell out of both of them, but eventually Jude and Karma became more friends than frenemies. And becoming a mother had changed Karma's attitude. She was still focused on her career, but her marriage and her son were her top priorities. It was that change that really made Jude see her in a different light.

"God, yes." Spied sighed exhausted. "I never thought this would be my life at twenty-two. Dirty diapers and colic. I'm a rock god. I'm supposed to be touring. There are supposed to be groupies throwing themselves at me for mindless sex."

"Spied!" Jude admonished him while she covered Kurt's little ears. "No S-E-X around the baby."

"Exactly. That's why my wife and I need a weekend to ourselves." Spied cracked open one eye and studied her. Jude was such a natural with Kurt, had been since the day he was born. He'd been terrified to pick up the little guy, afraid he'd break him, but Jude had swept him up in her arms, cuddling him close. She was their usual go-to babysitter and he knew she loved it. "You look good with him. You should have one."

Jude glanced down at Kurt as she continued to bounce him in her arms, considering it for the first time. "You think so?" She talked babies with Sadie all the time, doted on Kurt whenever possible, but she never imagined herself as a mom. Jude Harrison, a mom. Maybe with a little brown haired baby boy of her own. Maybe with blue eyes just like his fath- Woah. No, no no, no, no, no, no, no!

Spied saw the horror in Jude's expression, not sure where it came from. "Jeash. It was only an observation, dude. No reason to freak out." He glanced at his watch and groaned. "I'm supposed to record in fifteen. I better go get Kurt settled in with Sadie."

Jude quickly pushed her disturbing thoughts aside. "Go find Kwest. I'll take Kurt to Sadie. I want a little more time with him anyway."

"You sure?" Spied asked as he stood up. Jude nodded. "Cool. Tell Sadie I'll only be a couple of hours. His bag and his jumpy-seat are in reception. Karma fed him before she left, but I put a bottle in the frig just in case he gets hungry. And let her know I appreciate her help." He placed a kiss on the top of his son's head. "Be good for Auntie Jude and Auntie Sadie." Then he left.

Jude sat down in the spot Spied had vacated, her head still reeling over the traitorous thoughts her mind had conjured. She looked down at Kurt, her mini-confidant. "I think I'm in real trouble here, little man."

Half hour later, she carried Kurt out of her office. She grabbed his bag by reception, then stared at the seat, and realized she couldn't carry all three at the same time. She shrugged; she'd just have to make two trips. She started across the lobby just as Jamie was walking out of his office. "Jamie, we have a very important visitor." Her smile faded when she saw Quincy come out of the office too. _What's he doing here_, she thought. _And why was he talking to Jamie?_

Jamie quickly walked over and pulled the baby from Jude's arms. "Hey, buddy. Your daddy didn't tell me you'd be here today." He hugged Kurt to him and looked over at her. "Where's Spied?"

Tommy's eyes bore into her, but Jude tried to turn her focus back to Jamie and the baby, a little distracted. "In with Kwest. Karma's at work, and you know G-major's policy, so Spied had to bring Kurt in with him. Sadie's going to watch him though. I was on my way to her office to drop him off."

Jamie turned when Jude tried to take the baby back. "I don't think so. I told you I'm not that busy today. I want my time with the Kurtman. I hardly ever get to see him. I'll take him to Sadie in a little bit." Jude wanted to protest. Kurt was her excuse to leave before Quincy could talk to her, but she couldn't come up with a reason why Jamie couldn't keep him. Besides, Jamie wasn't paying any attention her. He was talking to the baby. "You don't want to be stuck with your mean old Aunt Sadie, do ya? No, you want to spend time with me, don't ya, buddy?"

Jude had to laugh. "Mean old aunt? Don't let Sadie catch you calling her that." She dropped the bag hanging on her shoulder and gave Jamie the instructions Spied had given her. She didn't want to sound overprotective, but she wasn't sure he could handle Kurt by himself. "You're sure you're okay with him?"

Jamie huffed. "Which one of us used to babysit in high school?" Jude bit her bottom lip to keep from snorting. Jamie gave her a hurt look. "Hey, it was a good way to earn money. And those kids loved me."

"I know, I know," Jude said to mollify him. "You were the king of the babysitters. Fine, but let Sadie know you have him. I don't want her freaking-out because she doesn't know where he is." She glanced at Tommy, saw him staring at the baby. Maybe, if she could get him interested in Kurt, she could get away before he cornered her. "Quincy, this is Kurt. He's Spied and Karma's."

"I caught that." He smiled at Jude, then looked back at the baby. "How old is he?" he asked in a reverent tone.

Jude suddenly remembered the conversation from last night. Tommy wanted to have kids and Karen didn't. It was the reason they were getting a divorce. All at once, she felt awful. "Ten months," she answered softly.

"Can I hold him?" Tommy directed the question to Jude, even though Jamie held the baby.

Jamie hugged Kurt to him a little tighter, not wanting to give him to Quincy, but Jude said, "Of course you can." She looked at Jamie and silently mouthed 'please'. There was something in her eyes... Jamie reluctantly handed the baby over.

Kurt was an easy baby, used to new people. With Spied and Karma both working on albums, he'd been passed from person to person almost since birth. Aunts and Uncles who had no biological relation, but who made up his family none the less. He took to Tommy quickly. He laughed and babbled while Tommy jostled him around and made silly faces. "He's big for ten months," Tommy said with excitement.

Jude moved a little closer, not even realizing she was doing it. "He was over ten pounds when he was born. Karma about killed Spied in the delivery room." She put her hand on Kurt's back, her fingers brushing against Tommy's. "He's named after Kurt Cobain. I'm still not sure how Spied convinced her to go along with it." Jude looked up and met Tommy's smile with one of her own.

Jamie watched the three together, not happy with what he saw. Not happy at all. Jude was standing why too close to Quincy, and she was looking at him the way Jude used to look at him. That was trouble. He cleared his throat. "Jude. Diana's here."

"What?" Jude asked absently, her eyes still linked with Tommy's, their fingers overlapping on Kurt's back.

Jamie wrapped his hand around her arm and gave a little tug. "Diana. She's over there," he said pointedly.

Jude turned and she saw Di leaning against the studio wall. "Oh," she said, trying to clear the fog from her head. "Oh," she said again with more force. "Yeah, we're recording her drums today. Is it three already?"

"Almost." Jamie took Kurt back from Quincy, giving him a nasty look as he did it. "You have any more questions about your contract, save them for Monday."

"Sure," Tommy said, not letting go of the baby until he was sure Jamie had a firm hold of him. He'd made up a story about contract questions so he'd have an excuse to stop by the studio and see Jude. He looked over for her, but she was already walking away. "Jude, hold up. We need to talk." She kept walking. Tommy jogged a few steps to catch up with her. "Come on, girl."

Jude refused to look at him. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She was just as stupid as Jamie said she was. First the stupid daydream when Spied mentioned her having her own baby, and then the stupid way she let Tommy's gentleness with Kurt get her. "I have work to do."

"Diana can wait two minutes." Tommy stepped in front of her. Jude stopped short of running into him, but she immediately changed course and walked around. Tommy followed. "I want to apologize about yesterday. I didn't want to fight with you."

"No need to apologize. It was a _stupid_ argument," she spit out the word. "It was none of my business anyway."

Tommy ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with the situation. "I just want to explain -"

Jude spun towards him. She kept her voice very, very low, sensing all the people around them. "You don't owe me an explanation and I don't want to hear one, so let it go." She glanced around nervously. "I work here, Quincy. Stop embarrassing me."

Tommy looked around too. People were watching them, listening intently to everything that was being said. Well, why wouldn't they? He was chasing her across the lobby. He sighed. Making Jude a target for gossip wasn't the way to get on her good side. "I need to talk to you. Give me a minute," he pleaded.

She looked like she was going to give in, then she said, "No," and quickly took the last few steps into her studio. Diana smirked at Tommy, who stood there with a perplexed look on his face, as she followed Jude inside and shut the door.

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Diana turned her smirk on Jude. "Interesting little show, Harry. Anything going on you want to tell me about?"

Jude began prepping the board, wishing Di hadn't seen that. She liked Diana a lot. In the past six months since they'd met, they'd become close friends. Except for Sadie, Jude was surrounded by guys, and it was nice to have a girlfriend again. Someone to share secrets with. But she didn't want to talk about this. "We need to get started. I have another band coming in at five."

Diana slowly sunk down into the opposite chair. "Nice try, producer-woman, but it ain't gonna work. I thought you told me all that tabloid stuff about you and Quincy was bull. There was definitely something going on out there and it had history attached to it."

Jude let out a long sigh, knowing she was cornered. Diana was stubborn as hell when she wanted to be. "Well, I might not have told you... everything." Jude glanced at the glass behind her, saw Tommy still standing there. "And I'm not going to say anything while he's staring at me."

Diana walked towards the windows. She gave Tommy a little wave, then dropped the privacy curtain. She went back to her chair. "Problem solved. Now spill. And go slow over the dirty parts."

Jude laughed. "Hell, I wish there _were_ dirty parts." She blushed and shook her head, amazed she even said something like that. "It's not that interesting, but here's the short version. I chased him for about three years. We kissed a couple times, each time he wanted to act like it didn't happen. I was too young and he was my producer. He sorta asked me out when I was seventeen, but it never happened. Then right before I turned eighteen, we sorta hooked up again, but at my birthday party he blew me off. There were reasons. There was this guy out for revenge."

"Oh, you told me about this," Diana chimed in as she snapped her fingers trying to remember. "Uhhh, the guy who held you hostage. Uhm... Hunter!"

"Yeah, Hunter," Jude confirmed. "He thought Tom was responsible for his sister's death. It turned out he wasn't, it was Portia, but, well, you know this."

Diana nodded. "I remember. The story was in all the papers. She's in jail now."

"Yeah. There was some plea bargain agreement. I don't know the detail, but it never went to trial." Jude sighed again. "Anyway, after Hunter, G-major imploded and everyone scattered. Tom decided to backpack through Asia. He asked me to go with, but I turned him down. After Asia, he went to the States, got married. Now he's getting a divorce and he's back working here. That's pretty much it."

Diana threaded her fingers together and laid them across her stomach. "Oh, there is so much more than that. Come on, tell me all of it."

Jude knew Diana wouldn't yell at her and she wouldn't get starry eyed either. "He told me he loved me. Before he went to Asia, he told me loved me. At the time, Jamie was interested in me too. When I chose to stay here, I chose Jamie over Quincy. Then I changed my mind, but Tom never came back. I was... well, I was a basket-case for almost a year. But eventually, I got over him. Now Jamie's worried I'm going to fall for him again. I think Sadie's trying to push me at him. And no one will leave it alone." It actually felt good to talk to someone who didn't have ulterior motives. "When Quincy hurt me, and he was always hurting me, I'd react in some incredible childish ways. Going by my past performance, Jamie has a valid reason to worry. And Sadie... well, she wants me to be happy, and she thinks the only time I've ever been happy is with Quincy."

"I take it she doesn't know about Dylan?" Diana asked.

Jude shuttered. "God no! The thing with Dylan would completely freak her out. No one knows about Dylan. I can't believe I told you." She was keeping so many secrets from her sister.

Diana leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling. "So did something happen between you and Quincy after I left yesterday? Because you were okay with him in the studio, but back there in the lobby, you were pretty damn mad."

"I think he hit on Lyndsey." Diana snapped her head back up. Jude shrugged. "Not hit on her, hit on her, but the look he gave her, I recognized. And then last night, Sadie insisted we all have dinner together, and after dinner she asked him why he was getting a divorce. And then later we fought. Too many mixed up feelings, I guess. I know I'm over him, but hearing about the life he wanted with his wife, on top of the thing with Lyndsey..."

"It was a shock. I get that." Diana could easily see Jude's point of view. "You might have moved passed him, but you never got real closure on the situation. You never got to face him and really finish it. Now he's back, and you think it's too late to fight with him about things that happened three years ago, but those old feelings are coming back."

"Exactly," Jude said. Finally, someone who understood. "I don't want to go back, but I keep getting pulled into it. Di, I cried last night. I went home and had a complete breakdown. It was awful."

"Crying is good. It helps you get things out of your system." Diana gave her a lopsided smile. "It sucks when it's happening, but it's better than keeping it all inside. You'll explode if you do that."

"I feel like I'm going to explode anyway," Jude confessed. "I want... I want this all to be over. I want to go back to my life, before he showed up. I was doing fine. Now, I have all these crazy feelings I have to deal with all over again. And at the same time, I'm trying to make sure Jamie doesn't worry too much, but I can't tell him what's going on or he'll go ballistic. And if I say anything to Sadie, she'll think I want to get back with Tom, and that'll get completely out of control."

"You can always talk to me. I have no horses in this race. I'm an objective third-party. But as that third-party, I have to tell you, you and Quincy had a moment," Diana air-quoted the word, "when he was holding the baby. You too looked awfully cosy."

Jude rolled her eyes. "Oh god. Don't get me started on that."

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Diana hit 'one' on her speed dial as she drove home from the studio. It took her sister two rings to answer her phone. "This better be important, Di. I'm on my way to class."

"Well, hello to you too." Diane shifted the car into third. "Quick question. Were you flirting with Tom Quincy yesterday?"

Lyndsey laughed evilly. "Just gave him the patented Redmond smile, that's all."

"Shit," Diana cursed. Great her sister had used the secret weapon. Since birth, both of them had gotten practically anything they wanted by turning their smiles to full blast. Their father said it was the dimple mixed with the light in their eyes that did it. Their mother said it was some sort of voodoo magic. "Lynds, back-off of Quincy. Trust me, you don't want to go there."

"But I have summer plans for that body," Lyndsey whined. "He's yummy. You have Andy, it's not like you want him."

"Pick another victim," Diana told her forcefully. "Him and Harry have history. You don't want to get mixed-up in it." There was silence on the other end of the phone. "I'm serious, Lynds. Back-off!"

"Fine," Lyndsey finally said with a note of true disappointment. She waited a heartbeat. "What kind of history?"

"You want to get us dropped from the label?" Diana countered.

"Oh, that bad?" Lyndsey asked, real concern in her voice for the first time.

"Past, present and future." Diana informed her. Harry might say she was over him, but Diana caught the look in her eye. "Don't get involved with this guy or all hell will break loss."

"I already said I wouldn't, but I can't undo what I did. And he was interested," Lyndsey finished in a sing-song.

"Get him uninterested. Be a bitch the next time you see him. Whatever it takes, I don't care. Get off his radar. Harry saw what happened yesterday and she's already a little pissed. Not at you, she hasn't gone there yet, but I don't want her going there. Fix this." Diana snapped her phone shut. Sisters were a real pain in the ass sometimes.

--- TBC

_Two Sisters - Fiction Plane_


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Gone Daddy Gone**

"Closure," Jude said as she walked into her house Saturday afternoon. She'd spent the morning recording Lyndsey's vocals, and she should still be at work mixing the final song, but the conversation with Diana the day before kept running through her head, distracting her, so she came home. She looked down at Rocky. "Maybe Diane was right. Maybe I need closure, then I wouldn't feel so crazy all the time." It was the first thing anyone had said to her about Quincy that made real sense. She never got to end it with him. She never got to look him in the eye and say, 'I'm done and I'm over you.'

She started up the stairs to her bedroom. She couldn't fight with him. That wouldn't be productive at all. In the end, getting up-close-and-personal with Quincy about things that happened three years ago would only upset her more. No, Jude needed to work it out by herself. She had all the pieces now. She knew why he didn't come back. Why he'd gone to Chicago. Why he'd married someone else. She didn't like any of the answers, but at least she had them.

Jude walked through the closet and into her studio. She sat in her oversized swivel chair, opened the filing cabinet door, pulled out folder after folder of sheet music and laid them on the console in front of her. They were the songs she'd written since he'd be gone. She opened each folder, read through what was there, then put it aside. Some of it was good, some of it was crap, but all the songs had one thing in common. There was a thread of pain that ran through them. Jude realized she'd never written a song about the end of a relationship. Not the break-up part, she had tons of those, but the point passed the break-up. The point where the girl was okay again. The point of closure. Wow, Diana _really_ was right.

Jude knew herself too well. If she hadn't written it, she hadn't experienced it. She thought she was over Quincy, had let it all go, but until she wrote a song that said those things, she was still hanging on. Well, it was time to end it once and for all. She put the music back in the cabinet, grabbed her journal and her old Gibson, and waited for inspiration to strike.

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By the time Sadie called on Sunday and suggested a late afternoon brunch, Jude was going stir-crazy. She'd spent all day Saturday writing and re-writing, and still hadn't come-up with a song that expressed her feelings properly. She decided a break would be a good thing, even if it meant spending a few hours with Quincy at her sister's house. She quickly showered, threw-on an old pair of jeans and her ancient Violent Femmes t-shirt, packed Rocky in the car, and drove to Sadie's.

She sang along to the music on the radio and tapped her hands against the steering wheel in time with the beat. She had to admit, she was in a good mood. At least now she had a plan; she wasn't floundering. And once the song was finished, she feel even better. She even decided to give Quincy a break. Not all of this was his fault. She was as much to blame as he was. She'd drop the attitude and treat him like she did the first day he walked back into the studio. Polite and free of anger. It nothing else, it would make brunch a more pleasant experience.

Jude walked into the house without knocking. "Sadie!" she bellowed from the foyer as she unsnapped Rocky's leash. "I'm here!" She didn't see anyone in the living room, so she wandered through the dining room and towards the kitchen. Still no one. She yelled again. "Where is everyone?!"

"They're outside," Jude jumped at the sound of Tommy's voice suddenly coming from behind her.

She spun around, her hand resting over her heart. "Jesus, Quincy. You scared me to death."

"Sorry. I didn't realize you were that jumpy." Tommy smiled at her as he stepped further into the kitchen. "They're out on the back porch drinking mimosas. I was upstairs talking to my relator, but I was about to join them. Care to come with?"

Jude linked her arm through Tommy's as she smiled back at him. "A fantastic idea. Lead the way."

It took a second for Tommy to start moving. Jude's smile combined with her touching him voluntarily confused the hell out of him, but he recovered quickly. He bent his head close to her ear. "What's with all the drinking? I don't remember this being a big booze crowd."

Jude patted his arm and laughed. "Only here at home. Growing-up, we always had wine with dinner. Mom let Sadie and I drink a small glass, half wine-half water. And it isn't a real Sunday brunch without mimosas. Don't worry, we're not a family of lushes. I promise."

Tommy held open the back door and let Jude walk through first. He tried to follow, but something sprinted out in front of him, almost tripping him. "Hey, Rocky. Didn't see you there."

Sadie was talking to Kwest, but she turned when she heard her sister approach. She gave Jude the once over and frowned. "Thanks for dressing-up."

Jude sat down at the small table tucked into the corner of the porch. "You should be happy it's clean. I haven't done laundry in over a week." She took a flute off the tray, poured in the champagne and topped it off with orange juice. She took a sip, the bubbles tickling her nose. "Mimosas and brunch. Do we have something to celebrate?" she asked and bit her bottom lip in anticipation.

Sadie held up her own glass. "If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be drinking. Brunch sounded like a good idea, that's all. You know, we should have regular family meals, at least once a week. I miss doing this."

"Me too." Jude leaned back in her chair, completely relaxed. It was warm for April, and the fresh air and slight breeze felt wonderful after being cooped up in her house. "How about dinner on Thursday? You guys come over and I'll cook."

Tommy was reaching for the orange juice when he stopped to look at her. "You cook?" he asked in disbelief.

Jude's eyes narrowed, but Kwest answered before she could say anything. "She's a damn good cook. Her and Sadie took a couple of classes together last year. For weeks, every Tuesday night they brought home the most amazing food. I think I gained ten pounds." Sadie leaned over to kiss her husband on the cheek for being so sweet.

Tommy arched an eyebrow, still a bit pessimistic about Jude's cooking abilities. After all, he'd been present for the mac-and-cheese disaster of 2006. But if Kwest said it was okay... "I can't wait to taste for myself."

Sadie slid her eyes to Jude, wondering if her sister would not-so-politely inform Tommy that when she said 'you guys come over', he wasn't included in the invitation. But Jude smiled and took a sip from her glass. "You bring the wine, Quincy. I'll cook the food."

Kwest had felt Sadie stiffen next to him. He was as worried as she was about how Jude would respond, especially since Tommy had told him about their fight on Thursday and their run in at the office. But she hadn't taken his head off, so maybe things weren't as bad between the two of them as his best friend thought. "So, T, what did the realtor say?" Kwest asked, changing the subject.

Tommy studied Jude for another minute, not sure what was going on with her. Her attitude was a complete one-eighty from Friday. Did all the women who worked at EastPhy have multiple personalities? He shook his head and answered Kwest. "I got the apartment I looked at, but I can't move in until the first of the month, so you're stuck with me for a few weeks."

"You can stay as long as you want, you know that," Sadie said in her best hostess voice. "But I thought you wanted to buy a condo. Why are you renting an apartment?"

This time, Tommy forced himself not to look at Jude. Initially it was his intention to buy a place, but if things didn't work out at EastPhy, or more accurately, if he couldn't work things out with Jude, he didn't want to be tied to a piece of property. He refused to think of it as running away again, more a strategic retreat. "It's a short term lease, only six months. It'll give me time to find a place I really want. I don't want to be rushed."

Jude nodded in understanding. "I get that. It took me forever to find my house, but the minute I saw it, I knew it was meant for me.

Jude's house. Tommy'd been wondering about that. Kwest told him she'd bought a three-story Victorian. He couldn't figure out what she was doing with all that space. "I thought your dream was a warehouse loft downtown. What made you change your mind and buy a house?"

"Now that Jude's here, I think I'm going to start cooking," Sadie interjected. "Kwest, honey, can you help me?" She nudged him under the table with her foot.

Kwest looked at her funny, knowing the last thing she wanted was his help in the kitchen. He was a decent cook too, but a messy one. When he helped, Sadie always complained she spent half her time cleaning up after him. She nudged him again, a little harder this time, and her eyes darted to Tommy and Jude. Kwest sighed, finally realizing what she doing. He gave Jude an apologetic look as he stood. "Sure, babe."

Jude smirked behind her glass as she took another sip. Her sister was so transparent she might as well be made of glass. But Jude was in a good mood, so she didn't mind. She answered Tommy's question as Sadie and Kwest walked into the house. "I thought I did too. The realtor was showing me all these lofts in The Annex, and I loved the location. Close to downtown, close to work, within walking distance to anything I wanted. But the lofts were too open; they didn't feel homey to me. So then he started showing me condos and townhouses in the same area, but everything was attached, and I didn't think I'd have any privacy. Finally, he started showing me houses, huge houses. I thought they were going to be too big, but when I saw my house, I fell in love. It needed a lot of work on the inside, I mean, I remodeled the whole thing, but it's perfect. High ceilings that make the rooms seem large, but still feel cosy. A good sized backyard with a decent fence, so I have privacy. And I converted the third floor into a master suite, so I even have my own little loft."

Tommy nodded. "So what's the basement like?"

"The basement?" Jude laughed, caught off guard by the question. "I don't think anyone's ever asked me that."

"That's where you're going to put your studio, right?" Tommy reached across the table for the champagne and didn't see Jude's momentary look of panic. "That's where it ends up most of the time. Unless you have a separate building in the back you're going to convert." He filled his glass, then offered to do the same for her.

Jude held out her flute. "I haven't thought about putting a studio in the basement." Which wasn't a lie. She had one off her bedroom, another in the basement seemed like overkill. "I still rent the rehearsal space and I can record at work anytime. I _do_ have a key to the building," she said, hoping he wouldn't press the issue.

Tommy topped off both their glasses with orange juice, still serious. "The rehearsal space is great, but you can't get a clean recording there, and work is, well, it's work. You always talked about having a home studio. A place all your own where you could concentrate and experiment. I figured you'd want something private, where you could be by yourself to create. That's what I'd want."

She did too, that's why she loved her little bedroom studio. He wasn't supposed to be that perceptive, damn him. No one else had ever questioned her lack of a home studio. It irked her that he still knew her well enough to ask. "Maybe I'll put one in the basement someday, but right now I like things the way they are." She took a healthy drink and quickly changed gears. "I want to apologize for how I've been acting recently." Tommy slowly lowered his glass, his eye's wary. Jude continued while she still had the nerve. "Dodging you at EastPhy on Friday was really childish of me. And so was the fight Thursday night. I have no right to judge you. Whatever your reasons for getting married, they're none of my business. It's your life. I'm sorry, Tommy."

The use of his name startled him more. It was the first time she'd called him Tommy since he'd been back. What _was_ going on with her today? "No, Jude, you were right. That's why I was so angry. I can say Karen and I expected different things from each other, but I went into it not appreciating her for who she was. You called me on it. No one else has, and they should have, especially Karen. It was selfish of me, and I'm trying really hard not to be a selfish bastard anymore." He smiled and gave her a wink. "It's a hard habit to break since I've been doing it for years."

"Well, you know what they say. Admitting you have a problem is the first step," Jude joked and Tommy's smile widened. She put her hand on his arm becoming serious again. "We have history, Quincy. Not all of it's good, but there's no reason we should continue to fight about it. We're going to be working together, and if we can't be friends, I at least want us to be friendly." It was as close to the closure Diana talked about as Jude was willing to get.

Tommy laid his hand over hers, his eyes connecting with her. "Girl, I want to be your friend again."

Jude saw more in his eyes, and it frightened her. She slipped her hand away and sat back in her chair, putting needed distance between them. "Like I said, we have history. Let's start by not fighting constantly, and see where it goes."

Tommy reluctantly nodded and backed-off. She obviously didn't trust him, and he couldn't blame her. This is what he got for treating her feelings so carelessly for years. For being such an idiot. Well, he'd go slow. He didn't have a choice. As she told him the other night - they were playing by her rules now. So like the old Tommy, he covered his disappointment with charm. "Is it possible for us to work together and _not_ fight?"

Jude was thankful he didn't push it. If he had, it would have started another argument, and that's not what she wanted. "You're not producing me, so as long as we stay in separate studios, I think we have a chance."

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Sunday brunch stretched into Sunday dinner, and it was close to ten by the time Jude left. Tommy was surprised the day had gone so well. Jude had clearly set her boundaries and she didn't want him getting anywhere near them, but at least she wasn't scowling at him anymore or avoiding him all together. In fact, they hadn't fought once. He took it as a good sign.

Sadie went to bed soon after Jude went home, leaving Tommy and Kwest to clean the kitchen. Since she cooked, she thought it only fair for them to clean. Kwest wanted to talk to Tommy without her around, so he didn't argue. Once they were done, the boys grabbed a couple of beers and went back out to the porch. Kwest took a long drink, licked a bead of liquid off his bottom lip, then said, "Well, she doesn't hate you." Tommy motioned up to the second story. Kwest waved his hand. "Our bedroom's in the front; she can't hear anything. Besides she's been up there for almost an hour. She's sound asleep."

Tommy relaxed, letting his head fall back against the chair. "She doesn't hate me. That's the best you've got?"

"What do you want, T? I told you she was destroyed when you didn't come back. You're lucky she's even willing to talk to you. Take what you can get and be happy about it." Kwest shook his head, amazed at his best friend. What the hell did he expect? Jude to jump into his arms?

"You're right, I know." Tommy drank his beer, contemplating how screwed-up his life was. "But I love her. I've always loved her. And she's never going to let me get close to her again."

Kwest wanted to tell Tommy he was wrong, but he didn't want to lie to the guy either. Jude was... different than she used to be. She was... harder in some ways, not as forgiving. The fault for that pretty much laid at Tommy's feet. "No matter how much you try or how long you wait, she might never come around. You hurt her one too many times, man." Kwest sighed in exasperation. "I told you three years ago to forget all that finding yourself crap and just come home. Things might have been different if you'd done that. It was your decision to stay away. Now you're paying for it."

"I couldn't come back," Tommy said agitated. "It would have been the same damn thing! You and I both know the problem was never Jude. It was me. Me! I needed to figure out what the hell I wanted. Besides her - I knew I wanted her. But I had to figure out how to keep her." He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees. "I didn't want to hurt her again."

"Yeah, and marrying someone else was a sure way to make sure that didn't happen." Kwest had never asked before. When Tommy said he was getting married, Kwest had let it go. It was not his job to monitor his best friend's life. But now that T was back and getting a divorce, saying he was still in love with Jude, Kwest figured he could bring it up. "Why did you marry her, man? And I want more than that half-ass story you told us the other night."

Tommy kept his eyes trained on the ground. "I didn't lie," he said quietly.

"No, but you didn't tell the whole truth either." Kwest punched Tommy's shoulder. "Damn it, T, look at me!" Tommy tilted his head sideways. Kwest bent forward so he could look his best friend in the eye. "You married Karen three months after your dad died. Are you gonna tell me that had nothing to do with it?"

Tommy sat back in his chair and Kwest did the same, then he ran his hand over his face, wishing there was some way he could avoid all this and knowing there wasn't. "It was bad, okay?"

"I know," Kwest cut in.

"No, you don't!" Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again, "I didn't... I couldn't tell you how bad it was. Sadie had just gone through surgery, she'd just finished radiation. You had enough to deal with. You didn't need me adding to it. But Karen was there. And she understood; she helped." His voice was strangled with emotion. "That Christmas... it wasn't a lie, something did click. And I was ready to come back, but I couldn't leave Martin in a lurch. I figured I'd give him a month notice, give him time to find another producer. And then I got the call about dad." He closed his fist, his nails digging into his palms. "And I thought, how do I explain this to Jude? Yeah, honey, my dad died. He was fifty-two and he OD'd on meth. See he's been using my whole life, been in-and-out of jail as far back as I can remember. That's why I got taken away from him when I was ten, why I was always getting into trouble, why I was in juvie. That's why Darius had me change my last name. Sure, I sent him money every month, even tried to get him into rehab, but he refused to get clean, and now he's dead. But I'm back and I love you, so let's get married." There were tears in his eyes now. "How was I supposed to tell her all that?"

Kwest could hear the pain in his friend's voice and couldn't imagine what he'd been through. He placed his hand on Tommy's shoulder. "T..."

But Tommy shrugged it off. He roughly wiped the tears from his face, tried to compose himself. "I got... nasty at work. Started being a real son-of-a-bitch. I was so damn mad, and it was eating me up inside. Karen was the one who cornered me. My mood swings were worrying her. She asked me if I was doing drugs. I started to laugh, and I couldn't stop. And then when I did stop, I started to cry. And then I told her. And she listened." His voice grew soft again. "She listened."

Kwest let out a deep sigh. Finally, things were starting to fall into place. Karen had been there when Tommy broke down, and he'd obviously leaned on her. "And the more time you spent with her..."

"Yeah." Tommy still couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. "We got close. I thought it was different than it was. I thought I loved her."

"What about Jude?" Kwest asked patiently. "She's strong, T. She would have understood. _She_ would have helped you. You should have seen her when Sadie was sick. She was incredible."

Tommy's laugh was bitter. "I couldn't bring this into Jude's life. Not after everything else I've done to her. And not after what she'd just gone through with Sadie. She was finally getting her life on track. She was producing. She bought half the business from Paegan. She bought a house. She was staying out of the tabloids. And I was a mess. It would have been a disaster."

Kwest understood. He didn't agree with Tommy, but he understood where his friend was coming from. "If you felt that way - feel that way - then why are you back? I don't get it, man."

"Because I'm not my dad," Tommy said simply. "He never learned. No matter how much he lost because of the drugs, he never learned." Tommy poked himself in the chest. "Well, I learned. I can't keep hiding this stuff from her. I can't keep shutting her out of my life. I love her - I _need_ her. I do want a family, but I don't want it with anyone else but Jude. I want Jude to _be_ my family. And constantly running from her isn't going to get me what I want." He took a sip of beer. "I know it took me a long time to figure that out, but I did. She's it for me."

"So Jude's the real reason you're getting a divorce." To Kwest it made more sense than the kids angle Tommy tried to pass off at dinner.

"Of course, she is," Tommy said like it was obvious. "Jude accused me of using Karen, and she was right. I'm not proud of that. Karen's a good person and she deserves someone who loves her back. The kids and the move to LA are the excuses I used to end it. I couldn't tell her it was all a mistake. That would've been cruel, and there was no reason to do that to her."

"But you are going to tell Jude the truth" Kwest said, more statement than question. "The whole truth. About your dad and Karen. 'Cause, T, I won't stand by and let you hurt that girl again. And I won't help you lie to her. She's family now. She's my sister."

"Yeah, man, I plan on telling her everything." Tommy thought about his interaction with Jude over the past few days. "If I can get passed that damn wall she's built. If she gives me a chance, I'll tell her."

Kwest chuckled, feeling better about the situation. He wasn't sure what was going on with Jude; she'd been hard to read for years now. But he was sure about Tommy. Once the guy set his mind on something, it was almost impossible to shake him. And he'd set his mind on getting Jude back. He tipped his beer bottle to Tommy. "Good luck with that. She _is_ pissed."

Tommy clinked his bottle with Kwest's. "But she doesn't hate me. That's a start."

--- TBC

_Gone Daddy Gone - Violent Femmes_

So that's Tommy story. I always wondered why he was in juvie and why he changed his name. I figured it had something to do with his parents. I hope you like my take on it.

oliviatocalli - I hope this is the 'growth' in Tommy you were looking for. He might have matured, but he will always be full of secrets.

I appreciate all the great reviews. Keep them coming!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**What I Like About You**

Jude was late for work. She stashed her purse in a drawer and grabbed a folder, a small note pad of paper and a pen off her desk, then she glared down at Rocky. "This is your fault, you know," she scolded as she shook her finger at him. He in to turn looked up at her with his big brown expressive eyes as if to say, 'What did I do?' He'd been in a playful mood that morning, jumping around the backyard and tracking a squirrel that ran along the top of the fence. Even after the squirrel disappeared, he continued to ignore Jude's calls to come back inside. She'd ended up chasing after him, which she knew better than to do. He thought it was a game, evading her hands and barking at her the entire time. Because of him, she'd lost the fifteen precious minutes she needed to get herself organized and grab a cup of coffee before the Monday morning staff meeting.

She exited her office, made a quick trip into hospitality, then headed for the conference room. As she slipped in, Jamie grimaced at her. She mouthed an apologetic 'sorry', than scanned the conference table for an empty seat. She saw one next to Quincy and silently slid into it.

Tommy tilted his head and whispered, "Nice to see some things never change."

Jude shot him a dirty look, then whispered back, "What did I miss?"

Tommy was about to tell her, but he caught Jamie eyeing both of them, so he sat back in his chair without answering her question.

Jude did the same, drinking her coffee and doing her best to give the meeting her full attention. A minute later she felt someone tapping on her thigh. She glanced down and saw Tommy's hand, a small piece of paper sticking out between two of his fingers. He dropped the note and moved his hand back to his lap. With her own free hand, Jude quietly opened the paper, keeping one eye on Jamie to make sure he didn't notice what she was doing.

_The EP songs on the charts._

If that's all she missed, Jude didn't feel too bad. Jamie always opened the meetings with what artists and songs, if any, were on the music charts. It was a nice way to start the week, celebrating little successes. She checked the charts daily, along with the radio play numbers, so it was information she already knew.

The meeting proceeded as usual, each VP giving a quick synopsis of what happened in their department the prior week and what to expect in the coming week. The staff meeting wasn't about solving problems, that happened in smaller dedicated meetings, it was more a way to share topline information so everyone was on the same page, and for Jamie to let the group know about changes that effected the business as a whole.

Along with the VPs and Jamie, the producers were required to attend. It was a policy Jude supported wholeheartedly. Paegan was adamant that all business decisions be made keeping three questions in mind: Is it good for the artist? Is it good for the music? Is it good for the company? It was the cornerstone of Eastern Philosophy Records. Since the producers worked directly with the artists and knew more about the music than anyone else, they were vital to the process and needed to know what was going on every step of the way. They ran the company, more than any of the 'suits' in the room. Paegan hated suits. He felt they made decisions based on one question: How does it effect the bottom line? The music wasn't their priority; it was all about the money. Money had never been Paegan's main concern. As long as EastPhy made enough to stay in business, he was happy. And so was Jude.

It was the reason being down a producer put so much pressure on Jude and Kwest. It wasn't just the studio time. They were involved with the artists and the music from beginning to end. It was daunting new approach to running a label, but the artists they'd signed like the personal attention and liked knowing their opinions mattered. Jude knew from her own experience how frustrating it could be when you were made to do things that were good for the label, but not necessarily good for you. So far it had been working quite well.

After all the VPs finished their updates, Jamie stood up again to speak. "Over the past year, we've had many new additions to our staff who might not be as familiar with company policies as the rest of us. I've decided to re-issue some of our policy memos. The first one going out today concerns fraternization." Jude felt Quincy tense next to her, but she refused to turn her head to look at him. Jamie continued. "Saundra's passing out the memo now." He motioned to his assistant. "And she'll be distributing it to the rest of the employees in their mailboxes later today. I'd like to go over it with all of you in case there are any questions."

Jude felt another tap on her thigh. She didn't glance down this time, just cupped her hand next to her so he could drop the note in.

_Your idea?_

She bit her bottom lip, and finally looked at him. He had one eyebrow arched in question and he was frowning. She wrote a quick response.

_Someone has to keep you out of trouble._

She passed it to him, and watched the surprise spread across his face as he read her reply. She did her best to cover her smile as he hurriedly pick up his pen. _This is ridiculous_, she thought. _It's like being back in high school. _But her smile widened when he passed his note to her.

_I've been told it's a full time job. Are you signing up?_

He winked at her, and Jude rolled her eyes. Well, if he could tease her, she'd tease him right back.

_I don't have the patience. You'll have to find another sucker for that gig._

When Tommy read it, he started to laugh out loud, but he covered the outburst with a cough. Jude chanced a glance at Jamie to see if he noticed, and realized he was staring directly at Quincy as he went through the memo point-by-point. _Real subtle, James_, she thought. There was another tap on her leg. She grabbed the paper.

_So it was a one time, friendly gesture. Thanks._

Jude felt awful. She was embarrassed by the way Jamie was so blatantly letting everyone in the room know that the memo was targeted at Quincy. It was rude and unprofessionally. Yes, she had asked him to reissue it, but not like this. She didn't bother hiding her next note as she slid it across the table to Quincy, her face scrunched up in annoyance at Jamie. If he was going to be that obvious, she wasn't going to hide what she was doing either.

She was still looking at Jamie when she heard the crunch next to her. She turned to Quincy, and saw him balling up the paper in his fist right before he dropped it back in front of her. He stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched tight. Jude knew that look; he was pissed. She smoothed out the paper and reread what she'd written, trying to figure out why it had upset him.

_Who said we were friends?_

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Jude wanted to talk to Tommy after the meeting, but he bolted out of his seat and left the room before she could stop him. And then she got cornered by Sadie's boss and the VP of Design, who both needed to talk to her about the Distrust album. By the time she was done with them, she only had five minutes to spare before she had to be in the studio. She knew it wasn't enough time to find out why Tommy was mad. Hell, it wasn't even enough time to yell at Jamie for what he'd done. She decided to put both issues on the back-burning and go to work. She'd deal with the boys later.

While she walked across the lobby to her studio, Tommy was in his new office, taking out his anger on innocent furniture. Slamming drawers, kicking chairs, and contemplating throwing his stapler through the wall. He just didn't understand what Jude's problem was. One minute things were good between the two of them, the next she was angry again. Her emotions turned on a dime. Sure, before brunch she'd basically told him they weren't friends, but then the rest of the day they'd gotten along so well. And she seemed fine with the note gag at first. And then that last note, shoved across the desk while she had that hateful look on her face. Okay, he got the point. He wouldn't bring up the 'F' word anymore. Friends, friendly, friendship, he'd strip them all from his vocabulary.

He dropped down into the chair behind his desk. He knew this wouldn't be easy, but did everything with her have to turn into a confrontation? He'd given serious consideration to locking the two of them in a studio, kissing her until she couldn't see straight, and then forcing her to listen to him. But with the way she was acting, he was afraid he'd walk out with his balls in his hands. Who knew his Jude could be so... feisty. Yeah. That was better than bitchy. She was feisty.

Of course, she'd always had spunk. He remembered the SHOK FM concert she'd participated in after she'd gotten arrested with Patsy. The crowd had thrown beer and toilet paper at her, had tried to boo her off the stage, but she'd gotten through the song. And when Darius banned her from the studio, she'd found her own rehearsal space, and then recorded and released a bootleg to get back in G-Major. God, she was always standing up to Darius, and he sacred the hell out of most people. Tommy smiled. She always stood up to him too. She'd even pushed him in a hottub defending her sister.

Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude. When this was over and he had her back, because he refused to see it ending any other way, he'd have to watch himself around her. Life with Jude would always be interesting.

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Kwest popped into Jude's studio. He tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Hey, superstar."

Jude pushed the headphone off of her left ear, continued to listen to the pianist who was playing with her right. "Hey, yourself. Do you need me, because we just started."

"Na, I've only got a few minutes myself. I wanted to stop in and harass you about the staff meeting, that's all." Kwest sat on the edge of the board out of her way. "You and Tommy were passing notes in class," he said, a huge smile on his face.

Jude rolled her eyes, and swatted his leg. "It was nothing. We were only having a little fun."

"Yeah, about that." Kwest scratched his head. "The two of you seemed to be having fun yesterday too. Are you... ya know?" It would be a quick turn around, but he wasn't sure how much of Jude's attitude about Tommy was real, and how much of it was a defense mechanism to protect herself.

"Definitely not," Jude assured him. "I decided to give him a break, that's all. Start fresh. And don't even hint it's anything else in front of Sadie," she warned. "You promised."

Kwest held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not going to say a word to her. I'm curious; I'm not making plans for your future or anything." He hated being stuck in the middle of this. "But you're okay with him being here? I mean, it's not too much for you. You're good?"

"I'm fine." It was the first time Jude had said that in reference to Quincy and actually meant it. "I was mad at him for so long, I almost forgot how much fun I have around him. It's all good, my brotha."

Kwest laughed at her terrible impression. "Alright, but if it changes, you let me know. He's my best friend, but you're my family. You and Sadie, you come first." Kwest meant what he told Tommy. He wouldn't stand by and let Jude be hurt again, not if he could prevent it.

Jude stuck out her bottom lip and gave him her sad puppy dog look. "Awh, that's so sweet." Then she dropped both. "Now get out of here. I have work to do."

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Tommy was bored. His first artist wasn't scheduled to arrive for another forty-five minutes, and he'd already done his studio prep. He was settled in his new office, and he hadn't done anything to generate paperwork yet, so there was nothing to do in there. Everyone he knew in the building was busy or pissed at him, so he couldn't go bug them. He wandered around the lobby, not sure what to do, then he saw Lyndsey and Diana working together in one of the practice rooms. Diana was sitting at the piano, while Lyndsey sat next to her, guitar in hand. _Ah, friendly faces._ He knocked on the door, opened it and stuck his head in. "Whatcha doing?"

Diana stopped playing long enough to give him a smile. Not full wattage of course, she wasn't an idiot like her sister. "Hey, Quincy. We're writing the last song for the album. At least, we hope it's the last one. Harry has to approve it." Lyndsey kept her head down.

Tommy frowned as he came fully into the room. "I've been meaning to ask you, why do you call her Harry?"

"Harry. Harrison." Diana shrugged. "It's just a nickname. It doesn't seem to bother her."

Tommy nodded, guessing it was as good a reason as any. He walked towards them, peaking over their shoulders to look at the paper laying on top of the piano. "Maybe I can help with the song. I always helped Jude write. Let me hear what you have so far." Finally something productive he could do.

Diana gently nudged Lyndsey's foot under the piano bench. Lyndsey glanced at her. Diana made a slight upward movement with her chin. Lyndsey subtly pursed her lips. Diana hardened her stare. Lyndsey narrowed her eyes. Diana bared her teeth. It was an entirely silent conversation that went on without Tommy's notice. Finally, Lyndsey sighed, resigned to what she had to do. She looked up and gave Tommy her best snarl. "We write alone. We don't need your help. Don't you have work to do? I mean, that _is_ what they pay you for, right?"

Tommy took at step back and blinked. Maybe he should start calling her Sybil, because this was the third personality of hers he'd seen. He looked at Diana who was sitting there like nothing unusual had happened. _She must be used to it_, he thought. "Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I guess I'll go back to _work_ now." He turned on his heels and left.

When the door was closed, Diana let a little giggle escape. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Lyndsey grumbled. "We should get back to work too. This song isn't going to write itself." Diana pushed her playfully, and Lyndsey pushed back.

"Slut," Diana said.

"Bitch," Lyndsey replied.

And then they both laughed.

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Tommy was still shaking his head when he walked into hospitality. Kwest happened to be on a break and was grabbing a bottled water out of the frig when he saw him. "What's the matter, T? You look confused."

Tommy poured a cup of coffee. "What is it with the women in this building? I just got dissed by one of the twins."

Kwest chuckled. "Caught Diana on a bad day, huh?" He'd been the focus of her rage a few times and knew it wasn't pretty. Sadie was bad enough; he had no idea how Andy lived with the Di.

"Hell, Diana's the only normal one." Tommy leaned his hip against the counter. "Lyndsey about took my head off."

Kwest stopped short. "Lyndsey? Little Lyndsey?" He frowned. That didn't sound right. She was the calm one. "She can be goofy sometimes, but I don't think I've ever seen her mad."

Tommy made a sweeping gesture toward the practice rooms. "Well, now's your chance." His hand landed next to him with a thump. He contemplated how terrible his morning had been. If this was any indication of what he'd have to put up with on a daily basis... "I don't think if I want to work here anymore," he said, his voice that of a little kid.

Kwest started to seriously laugh, getting way too much enjoyment out of Tommy's misery. "Never thought I'd see you with a case of first day jitters."

Tommy shook his head. "These aren't jitters, man. These women want to kill me."

Kwest rested his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Think of it this way; it can only get better."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy's day got worse. After a few constructive comments, his first artist practically ran out of the studio in tears. He didn't have the energy or the inclination to chase after her. Of course she was a she. It was the way his day was going. He rested his elbows on the soundboard, dropped his head into his hands and kept repeating the word 'no' like a mantra.

That's the way Jude found him when she opened the door. "Did I just see Little Orphan Annie streak out of here?" She'd finished with her morning artist and was on her way to Jamie's office when she saw the hysterical woman rush out the front door.

Tommy didn't bothering moving his head. "I don't know. Who's Little Orphan Annie?" he asked, not really caring about the answer. If Jude yelled at him for making that woman cry, he was going home. He'd had enough for one day.

Jude sat down next to him, smirking. That's the way she looked the first and only time she'd dealt with Annie. "Ann Peterson. We call her Little Orphan Annie because she walks around like a lost little girl. What was she doing here anyway?"

Tommy raised his head and sat back in his chair. "Screeching, mostly. And then, of course, the crying. I think she might have a decent voice if she'd toned it down. I tried to tell her that, and then..." He absently waved his hand in the air. "I mean, she's got to have something. You guys signed her."

"No, Paegan signed her, during on of his experimental phases." Jude shuddered at the thought. The wackos he'd brought into the studio. Wait, Annie wasn't supposed to be recording. "Let me see your schedule." Tommy passed her the clipboard. Jude read the first sheet, then flipped through the next couple. Her temper immediately flared. "You've got to be kidding me! Oh, I'm going to kill Jamie."

Tommy brightened. Finally, some good news. "Can I watch?"

Jude peered over the top of the clipboard, a hint of laughter in her voice when she spoke "Having a rough morning, Quincy?" Tommy stared at her, but said nothing. "Well, your afternoon isn't going to be any better. You have all of our worst artists coming in today. And tomorrow. And Wednesday. Jamie submarined your schedule."

"So I'm not crazy. That Annie chick really does suck?" Jude nodded and Tommy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god, I thought I was losing my mind. No one should be forced to listen to that." He took the schedule back from Jude. "So fill me in."

Jude scooted closer and pointed to a name on the list. "This one, David Douglass, likes to be called Davo. And no, I'm not kidding. Like Cher or Bono. The worst emo singing you will ever hear." She flipped the page. "The Screaming Munchkins, they break things. Don't let them in the booth, just the studio," Jude warned. "We've already replaced this soundboard once." She moved down the list. "That's the worst of it. Most of these guys aren't bad, just temperamental. We don't normally give them studio time. We're waiting for their contracts to end so we can ditch them. Paegan signed a lot of bands he really shouldn't have."

"Great. So I'm stuck with losers and no-talents. I'm so glad I took this job." Tommy tossed the schedule onto the console. "I know Andrews hates me, but is this necessary?"

"Think of it as hazing." Jude offered him a lopsided smile. "I'm sorry. I should have checked the schedule myself. Jamie said he had it covered, and I didn't worry about it. But after that stunt he pulled this morning, I should have known he'd do something like this."

Tommy straightened in chair. "What stunt?"

"This morning in the meeting," Jude said. Tommy continued to give her a blank look. "With the _memo_. I know it was my idea to re-issue it, but he didn't have to make a production out of it. You saw how angry I was at him." She tensed. "Is that why you were so mad? Did you think I was part of that?"

It suddenly dawned on Tommy that he might have misread Jude's reaction to the note he passed her. She was upset with _Andrews_, not with him. Oh, hell. He couldn't tell her what he'd actually thought. "No, no. I was angry at him too. It had nothing to do with you."

Jude relaxed. "Well, good. The way you crumpled up that piece of paper, I thought..." She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. I was going to talk to Jamie about that anyway. It was totally unprofessional. I'll add your schedule onto my list of things to discuss with him," she finished with an edge to her voice.

Tommy liked the fact that she was angry on his behalf, but the last thing he needed was her running interference between him and Andrews. "It's okay, girl. Now that I know what's going on, I'll handle it. Hey, I've worked with temperamental artists before." He smirked at her. "You weren't exactly a walk in the park." Jude punched his shoulder and Tommy laughed. "Damn, you hit hard."

Jude pulled her fist back like she was going to do it again. "Don't you forget it, Quincy." Then she dropped her hand back in her lap. "Knowing Annie, we won't see her again for days. I've got an hour to kill. Buy me an early lunch?"

Tommy jumped out of his chair, happy that things between them were back to semi-normal. "You're on, Harrison. Hell, anything to get out of here for awhile. Even lunch with _you_." He ran out before Jude could hit him again.

--- TBC

_What I Like About You - The Romantics_


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Half Hearted Apology**

_If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again_

_If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend_

Jude groped for her cell phone on the bedside table as the Rancid lyrics repeated for the fourth time letting her know it was Jamie calling again. She'd ignored it the first three times he'd called, partly because her alarm clock hadn't gone off yet, so she knew it had to be before seven, and partly because he'd snuck out of the office early the day before and hadn't returned any of her calls. The bastard. She fumbled with the phone as she buried her head deeper into the pillow, finally hitting the right combination of buttons. "Somebody better be dead," she snarled, "preferably you."

"Have you seen the morning papers?" Jamie asked. His anger, worry and frustration making the words come out stressed and fast.

"Of course I haven't seen the papers," Jude snapped. She drug her body to the edge of the mattress, blearily opened her eyes to look at the clock on her bedside table, "It's six-forty-seven AM. I was asleep, you moron!"

"Well, wake-up! We've got problems." Jamie balanced the receiver on his shoulder as stared at the newspaper lying open on his desk. He'd been awakened much earlier by a reporter, who somehow got a hold of his home phone number, and wanted to confirm the story Jamie was currently looking at. After that, he'd quickly made his way to work, anticipating the nightmare the day would become as the rest of the world saw it too.

Jude flopped over onto her back, the sudden motion disturbing Rocky who gave her dirty look before laying his head back down. She absently petted him in apology. "What are you babbling about?" she asked around a yawn.

She heard Jamie's exasperated sigh on the other end of the phone. "You and Quincy! It's all over the tabloids. Pictures on the front page of _Talk National_ and _The Toronto Sun_. And boy, do the two of you look _frrrriendly_." He stretched out the 'r', practically growling.

"Pictures...?" Jude was doing her best to shake the sleep from her brain, but she'd never been a morning person and the screaming wasn't helping. She blinked her eyes a few more times. "Jamie," she whined.

Jamie knew what the whine meant; she had no idea what he was talking about. He rolled his eyes, took a deep breath and tried a new tack. "Did you have lunch with Quincy yesterday?" There was silence, and then he heard her curse under her breath. He'd take that as a yes. "Someone documented the whole thing. Maybe a paparazzo who was following you, maybe someone with a camera phone. I'm betting on the professional; the pictures don't look like they were taken by an amateur. Whoever it was, they went straight to the tabloids. I'm sure they got a lot of money for these."

Jude sat up, more awake than she'd been a minute ago. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been on the front page of a tabloid. Of course for the most part, she kept a pretty low profile. And since she stopped singing, she wasn't exactly newsworthy anymore. But being seen with Quincy obviously changed that. She thought about her lunch with him. They'd sat on opposite sides of a table at a busy restaurant. They'd talked, they'd eaten, they'd walked back to work. It wasn't exactly a clandestine affair. "So what? It was lunch. He was having a bad morning, and I was trying to be nice. Speaking of which, you have some explaining to do," she ended harshly.

Jamie ignored her last comment, still on a rant. "I told you this would happen! They broke the story about his divorce, and because of your... _lunch_ and these damn pictures, they're speculating you're the cause of it!" He paced behind his desk. "And they're reprinting all the gossip from before he left. It's all there, Jude. All of it! I'm sure Stacy's voicemail is already full of people wanting an exclusive."

Stacy Garrison, Sadie's boss, was the VP of Public Relations and Publicity. She would be one of the first persons the reporters would call. "And she'll tell them that EastPhy doesn't comment on the personal lives of it's employees or artists," Jude said with more patience than she felt. It wasn't like the world was coming to an end. They'd dealt with gossip before. The best way to handle was to ignore it. Commenting on it just kept the story alive. "Look, if Quincy wants to make a statement about his divorce, that's his business, but I'm not going to play games with the tabloids. And I can't believe you woke me up to yell at me about this."

Jamie dropped down in his chair, finally running out of steam. Tabloid speculation was part of the business, and if it was about anyone else, he wouldn't be acting this way. He wouldn't even blink an eye; he'd let Stacy handle it. His anger slowly slipped away, but the worry remained. "Jude, you come off looking like..."

"What? What, Jamie? A home-wrecker? A slut?" She knew he was concerned about her, but she couldn't change the past, and she refused to kowtow to tabloid reporters. "I'm sure the pictures don't help, but they would have printed all the other stuff without them. We talked about this weeks ago. As soon as they found out Quincy was back and working at EastPhy, it was going to happen. I'm surprised it took them this long. But I won't change how I live my life or who I choose to associate with because of a little gossip. Let it go, Jamie. Worrying about it isn't going to help."

"He's more trouble than he's worth," Jamie muttered, calmer now then when he'd first called.

Jude smiled to herself. Jamie might not be happy, but he was going to drop it. She'd reasoned with him. And before her first cup of coffee, a miracle in itself. But because he'd woken her up for something so ridiculous, he was now going to get a piece of her mind on another subject. "What was that yesterday during staff?" she asked, annoyed as he'd been a minute ago. "Unprofessional, embarrassing, rude, _completely _out-of-line. Do you want me to go on?"

Jamie winced. He knew this was coming, and he knew he deserved it. Okay so maybe he hoped, just a little, if she was mad at Quincy - because the tabloids were all Quincy's fault, Jamie was still positive about that - Jude would maybe forget about the other thing that had happened. "I know. I plan on apologizing to him today. I don't like the guy, but I shouldn't have done it. I'm the boss and I need to set a better example." Jamie hadn't missed the glare Jude shot him across the conference table as he'd gone through the memo with the staff. After the meeting was over, he wasn't too thrilled with his behavior either. Quincy had always rubbed him the wrong way, and he had an opportunity to embarrass the guy, so he'd taken it. But it was a hollow victory and he wasn't proud of what he'd done. He was better than that. He knew he had to apologize, but it was something he had to work up to, and he wasn't prepared to do it yesterday. That's why he'd left the office. And he'd ignored Jude's phone calls because he knew she'd tell him the same thing.

"Well... okay then." Jamie's sudden capitulation caught Jude off guard. She figured they'd argue about it for hours, and she never thought he'd actually apologize. But there was the other thing too. "And the studio schedule? That was cruel, Jamie."

Jamie suppressed a laugh. No, the schedule was out-and-out hilarious and a damn good prank. He wouldn't have felt bad about it at all if he hadn't screwed up on the memo thing. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "It was a joke. It's not even the real schedule." It had been until he'd called the worst of the bands to cancel their studio time. Part of his guilt eating at him. "I'm going to give him the new schedule when I apologize this morning. You and Kwest have the best artists, and Quincy is stuck with some, uh, underperformers, but do you really think I'd let The Screaming Munchkins back in the building?" Initially he'd weighed in the cost of a new soundboard and determined it was worth it, but then... guilt, guilt, guilt.

"So it _was_ hazing. That's what I told him." Jude should have known. Jamie wouldn't waste studio time or money just to annoy Quincy. At least, not three days of it. One day, she could see. "And really, all some of the those bands need is a producer who can work with them. It wouldn't surprise me if he gets good stuff out of a few of them. He knows what he's doing."

"That's why we hired him," Jamie said chipperly as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. At least she wasn't mad anymore. "Sooooo, you and Quincy had lunch?" he asked, slipping back to the reason the tabloid story had shocked in the first place. "What happened to, him being back hit you hard and you need time to work things out?"

Jude's shoulders fell. Oh brother, not this again. She felt like she was always explaining herself. "It didn't take as much time as I thought. There's no reason Quincy and I can't work together peacefully. Yes, it hit me hard, but I decided not to dwell on it. People change. They mature. _I've _matured. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. It's a new day. And all that other crap." _Besides, I have a plan now_, she thought, _and I'm working on a new song._

Jamie shook his head. She was definitely the most confusing person he'd ever known. She changed her mind more than he changed his clothes. In all the years they'd been friends, he couldn't believe he'd missed that about her. It was no mystery to him anymore why they didn't work as a couple. He needed steady, which Jude wasn't. Hell, Pasty'd been a freak, but at least she'd been a consistent freak. Some times he thought the worst thing that could happen to Quincy, was for him to have to deal with Jude full time. She'd drive the guy nuts. "But it's only a friend thing? You're not going to fall for him again? Because, Jude, you get... weird around him." He stopped himself from saying stupid just in time. He knew that would set her off.

"No," Jude said confidently. "He can be a decent guy, when he wants to be. Like yesterday. We had a good time together. He told me about working at Illusion and the different artists he produced. It was nothing serious, all work related and that's what I liked. It wasn't personal. 'Cause putting our past aside, he's got way to much baggage for me to do personal. If you knew the things he told us at dinner..." Jude trailed off. No, she wasn't going to tell Jamie what Quincy had revealed about his marriage. She wasn't a gossip. "Let's just say the guy's still screwed up. And I don't want to get back on that roller coaster. I want a man who's... simple, honest, straight-forward. You know, someone like me."

_Right,_ Jamie thought, _you're deluding yourself_. First, there was nothing simple about Jude's life. She'd left simple at fifteen when she won the Instant Star contest. Any guy who wanted a simple life was not going to get involved with Jude Harrison. Proof of that was in the morning paper. As for honest, she lied to herself constantly. He was afraid she was lying to herself right now. And the only time she was straight-forward was in her music. Quincy'd been back less than a week, and so far she'd gone from everything's okay, to everything's crap, back to everything's okay again. There was nothing straight-forward about that. But was he going to tell her? Hell no! He'd watch her back like always, wait for the inventible crash-and-burn, then be her shoulder to cry on. That's what best friends did.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

_You can do this_, Jamie thought. He'd been staring at Quincy's open office door for the past hour, working up the courage to cross the lobby and do what he'd told Jude he was going to do. _ Just act professional._ He straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath and knocked on door frame. "May I come in?"

Tommy shifted his eyes to Jamie, then quickly looked down. "Don't think I can stop you. You're the boss," he mumbled. Great, exactly what he needed. Andrews jumping on his case about the story in the papers. He'd already been cornered by Sadie while pouring his first cup of coffee, the newspaper slapped down in front of him on the kitchen counter. For all her supposed matchmaking, she was pissed Jude and him had ended up in the tabloids. But what did she expect? He hadn't seen Jude yet, but he figured she'd be mad too. It was going to be difficult to maintain a friendly relationship with the woman _Talk National_ had dubbed 'Instant Mistress'. Yeah, he was screwed.

Jamie took two steps inside the office and stopped. Should he sit down or stand? Standing would be the better option; would enable him to leave quicker. He wanted to get this over with and then get out. He laid the new studio schedule on Quincy's desk. "Sorry about yesterday. The meeting. Shouldn't have done that." He fired the words like bullets.

Tommy's head snapped up in surprise. Andrews was... apologizing? To him? Something wasn't right about this at all. "Okay," he said cautiously, positive the other shoe was going to drop at any second.

Jamie shifted uncomfortable and pointed to the papers he'd set down. "New studio schedule."

Tommy picked it up warily, still not sure what was going on. He'd pulled demos when he'd gotten back from lunch with Jude, done some checking on his artists. And was he using that term loosely. Besides the three she'd pointed out, there were four others who should never have been allowed in a studio. He looked over the schedule, noticed they were dropped and others had been added. Had to be Jude's doing. Tommy sat back in his chair. What the hell. He was screwed anyway. Might as well have some fun. "Change your mind about some of my... artists?" he asked with a smirk.

Jamie pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. Apology, he would do. Explanation? Not so much. "Better division of resources," he said in his best corporate voice.

Tommy nodded, then waited for Andrews to continue, to say something about the morning papers. Jamie continued to stare, waited for Quincy to make another comment about the schedule. The silence stretched on and on and on... until Tommy said, "Anything else?"

Jamie visibly sighed with relief. Thank god that was over. "No, that's it. I'll be going now." He turned on heels and walked out, making sure he didn't run back to his office.

_Too weird_, Tommy thought. He looked over the schedule once more, then pushed it aside. It was probably the last favor Jude would ever do for him. He was so, so screwed.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

She was sitting in his chair when he walked into the studio thirty minutes later, a newspaper spread across her lap. Tommy froze. Jude continued to read, not bothering to acknowledge his presence. When she was done, she closed the paper and lifted her eyes to him, her expression blank. He swallowed hard, waiting for the inevitable. "I think," she started, then stopped. Tommy braced himself. " 'Harlot Harrison' is better than 'Instant Mistress', don't you? I like the alliteration." And then she smiled.

Tommy fell back against the studio wall, relief flooding his body. If Jude was making jokes, she wasn't mad. He smiled back at her as he quickly recovered. "Yeah, but does anyone even know what a harlot is? I mean, who says that anymore?" She laughed and swatted at him with the paper. He sidestepped the hit as he moved to sit down on the edge of the soundboard. "And did you see where they managed to work in 'pick up the pieces'? I don't think I'm ever going to live down that song."

"I'm sorry, Tommy. Divorce is hard enough, you shouldn't have to put up with this too." Jude started to put her hand an his knee in a comforting gesture, thought better off it, and let her hand fall back down to her lap.

Tommy didn't notice. He was too focused on what she'd said. Now Jude was apologizing to him. Nothing this morning was going the way he thought it would. He wasn't complaining, but... "No, I'm sorry. I knew they'd be all over me, but this isn't your problem, and now your smack-dab in the middle of it." He roughly pushed his hand through his hair. He was always dragging her into the middle of his crap.

Jude peaked up at him. There was one thing she'd been wondering all morning. What would a not-even-close-to-being-an-ex-wife say about her husband romatically linked in the tabloids to his ex-sorta-girlfriend? Hell, he'd only filed for divorce last week. "So...," she did her best to sound casual, "Have you talked to Karen yet?"

Tommy stiffened for a second, then relaxed. Another conversation he wasn't looking forward to having. "It's news in Canada, but I doubt it made the papers in the States. Of course, it's about me, so someone might e-mail it to her. If I haven't heard from her by this afternoon, I'm going to give her a call. I think I should at least warn her. But she grew-up in the industry and knows how awful the tabloids can be. I don't think this will surprise her." If she did have questions about his relationship with Jude, he was going to lie to her rather than tell her the truth. He was doing that a lot lately with the women in his life. Not telling them how he really felt. It was an old pattern that was starting to feel very uncomfortable. "You're really not mad?"

Damn! She'd have to find out from Kwest what Karen said. Asking Quincy again might give him the wrong impression. It wasn't like she really cared what his wife thought. She was just... curious. Okay, nosy. "I'm really not mad," Jude assured him. "You said it yourself; the tabloids are awful. They only get the story right about ten percent of the time. It's the world we choose to live in." She tilted her head in thought. "What was it EJ always said? As long as they spell your name right, you're golden?"

Tommy chuckled. "Yeah, it was something like that." He blew-out a long breath. There was no reason to continue talking about it. Jude said she was okay, and he didn't want to push his luck. But thinking about pushing your luck... "Andrew's gave me a revised schedule this morning. And I got an apology for what happened in the meeting. I figure you had something to do with it, so thanks."

"Actually it wasn't me," Jude said, surprise tinging her voice. She still couldn't believe the conversation she'd had with Jamie. "It was all his idea. He called me this morning about the story, and I brought up what happened, but he stopped me before I could say much. He'd already decided to apology on his own." She shook her finger at Tommy. "People can change, Quincy. It happens all the time."

Tommy arched an eyebrow. He wondered if her theory applied to him. And if it did, was she willing to give him a chance to prove it. "I have a break around one. Wanna grab lunch again? The pictures aside, I had a good time yesterday."

Jude smiled carefully. There was being friends with Quincy, and then there was a big gaping chasm of other things she didn't want to think about. "I did too, but my schedules full today. The rest of the week actually. I book myself light on Mondays so I can catch-up on paperwork. I didn't get any of it done 'cause I went to lunch with you. It's going to fill all my free time this week. Sorry."

"Not a problem," Tommy said, keeping his voice light. She was choosing paperwork over food? She was blowing him off. And she'd added an excuse to stop him from asking her to lunch the rest off the week too. Definitely blowing him off. But he'd deal with it. He didn't have a choice. "I'll check with Kwest, see if he's free. We still on for Thursday dinner?"

"Of course!" Jude forced a brighter smile. _Dinner with you, Sadie and Kwest_, she thought._ At my house. Without the paparazzi. If I'm lucky. Yeah, right._ _When have I ever been that lucky_?

--- TBC

_Half Hearted Apology - Dean Fields_

_Jamie's ringtone - Fall Back Down - Rancid_


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Late Nights and Street Fights**

When Jude left work on Thursday, she was in an exceptionally good mood. The single from Distrust's unreleased album was getting decent airplay and was steadily moving it's way up the charts. She finished recording Lyndsey's vocals for the last song and she was ready to mix it in the morning. Once she reviewed the rest of the tracks, she could give the band copies of the final album cut. It was the part of being a producer she loved the most - handing over that first CD, knowing she helped another artist realize their dream. It was... perfection. Jamie was holding two other albums, waiting for Distrust's album to be completed so he could take all the masters to the New York pressing house at the same time. Next week the band would review the album art with the design department and then it would be done. Jude would help finalize the summer tour, but she could start dedicating more time to her other artists.

She checked the kitchen before she left for work that morning, so she had her grocery list with her. A quick trip to the market to pick up what she needed, and she was ready to start cooking. By the time Sadie showed up at seven, dinner preparation was well underway. Jude smiled at her sister as she walked through the kitchen door. "I've been wondering where you were."

Sadie placed a small package wrapped in white butcher paper on the counter, then bent to pet Rocky, who was also happy to see here. "Sorry. I was waiting for the guys, but they were taking too long, so I left without them. Kwest is catching a ride with Tommy. They should be here soon." Sadie straightened. "What can I do to help?"

Jude wiped her hands on the towel hooked in the waistband of her jeans. "Nothing really. The salad's marinating. The sauce is done. The wine's breathing. I don't want to fix the bread or cook the pasta until the guys get here." She picked up the package. "What is this?"

"Italian sausage." Sadie beamed at her.

Jude frowned, but shrugged. It was the deal they had. "Then I guess I was wrong. You can cut this while I find another pan."

"And pour me a glass of wine, please." Sadie pulled an apron from a drawer, grabbed the cutting board and the knife. She knew her way around Jude's kitchen as well as she did her own. She spent enough time in it. She opened the butcher's wrap and began cutting.

Jude set down a full glass of wine next to Sadie, then pulled out the other pan . She was still very much a vegetarian, but she couldn't get anyone else to convert. When they were still living together, it had caused tons of fights. Since Jude moved out, the two had come to an agreement. Whoever was cooking made allowances for the other's eating habits. If Jude wanted a vegetarian dish, Sadie was more than willing to cook it, but Jude had to buy the ingredients. If Sadie wanted meat with her meal, she did the same. Kwest thought they were crazy, but somehow it worked. Jude moved the sauce to the back burner and put the empty pan on the stove. "Drop the sausage in here." She dipped a wooden spoon into the tomato sauce, then held it in front of Sadie's mouth.

Sadie tasted the light sauce. "Damn, that's good. Did you use fresh oregano?"

Jude nodded. "Got it at the market." It wasn't a traditional tomato-based sauce. There was no paste, so it wasn't as thick. She'd cut, then cooked fresh tomatoes until they broke down to pulp, added onions, peppers, mushrooms, garlic, red wine and herbs. It was thin, but it had good flavor. The only draw back was she couldn't use it with long noodles; it ran off. Tonight she'd serve it over orecchiette. The little cups in the pasta captured just enough sauce. "What are the guys still doing at work? Kwest was finishing up when I left."

"Oh, they're both done, but Tommy pulled him into the studio to listen to what he'd been working on. He's so proud of himself. It's all I've heard about at home for the past two days." Sadie dumped the sausage into the hot pan where it sizzled when it made contact. "Did Jamie really bomb his schedule?"

Jude grabbed another spoon to turn the sausage pieces. "Yes, but it was a joke and he fixed it. It shouldn't be that bad now."

Sadie picked up her wine and sat down, getting out of Jude's way. "Well, you couldn't tell by listening to Tommy." Her voice had a bit of exasperated edge to it. "He thinks he's Simon Cowell and Professor Higgins wrapped into one. According to him, all the bands are awful. I mean, he says the worst things about them. Then the next second, he's boasting how he's going to turn them all into stars. Silk purse out of a sow's ear, you know? And Kwest keeps egging him on! They get into the stupidest fights. Last night, I thought they were going to drop to the floor and wrestle. I swear, Jude, I'm living in a frat house."

Jude laughter echoed through the kitchen. "You're the one who told him to move in. 'You know you can stay as long as you want'," she said, mimicking her sister's voice.

"And last week, I meant it," Sadie admitted. "But I don't know if I can stand two more weeks of this. Besides him and Kwest acting like idiots, I have reporters camped out across the street. The police are keeping them off our property, but they're everywhere. I have all the curtains closed so they can't take pictures through the windows. The other day I opened the door to get the morning paper, and I was almost blinded by flashbulbs until they realized I wasn't Tommy."

Jude quickly sobered. She'd always done her best to shield her family from things like this. Quincy had brought it right to Sadie's doorstep. "No one's tried to get in the house, have they?"

"Not _in_ the house. They haven't broken a window or anything, and the alarm hasn't gone off, but they get close. The motion sensor lights go on-and-off all night." That was the most annoying part. The lights in front of the house streamed in her bedroom window. The first night, they'd woken her up several times. Kwest brought home a black-out curtain from work and hung it up. She was sleeping fine now.

Jude's voice was tight with anger when she spoke. "He needs to go to a hotel. You shouldn't have to put up with that." Why hadn't she thought about how this would affect Sadie? Those damn photographs and that god damned story! Everyone in the world knew Quincy was back in Canada and staying with her sister!

Sadie saw the tension in her sister's shoulders, heard it in her voice. She needed to vent, but she didn't think she'd upset Jude so much by doing it. She could kick herself. She lightened her tone. "Oh, it's not as bad as I make it sound. I'm mean, Tommy's been great. He makes sure he's the first to leave the house in the morning and the last to come home at night, so the reporters follow him, and Kwest and I don't have to deal with them. We've had a couple of fans show up, but they've been very polite, and Tommy even signed autographs. Besides, he's been the perfect guest, helping me around the house. He runs the vacuum. He does the dishes. He washes clothes. I didn't know he was that domestic."

"Sadie, don't white-wash it," Jude snapped as she turned to look at her sister. "I know he's Kwest's best friend and you told him he could stay, but if it's getting out of control, he needs to leave. Your safety comes first!" She was in a frenzy now, her voice an octave higher then normal.

Sadie stood up and wrapped her arms around her sister. "I'm perfectly safe. Do you really think either one of them is going to let anything happen to me? Jude, if it was that bad, Kwest would tell him to leave. You know how protective he is." She kept her voice gentle and soothing. "And after yesterday's press conference, the reporters are thinning out. They have the story about the divorce and why he's working at EastPhy. Once the mystery is gone, they aren't as interested. You know that from experience. I think another week, and it'll all go away."

Sadie was rubbing Jude's back as she talked, and Jude started to calm down. "It was good of Jamie to let him have the press conference in front of EastPhy and to stand up for him. Jamie really is amazing when he wants to be."

Sadie had been impressed too. "Yes, it was. Telling them he'd persuaded Tommy to come to work with us, and leaving you out of it all together. I thought it was generous of him. And the things he said about Tommy being a great producer and how proud he was to have him working at EastPhy. I thought Jamie was going to choke over the words." Jude laughed and Sadie relaxed her arms. "I didn't mean to worry you. I was just talking."

Jude nodded and turned back to the stove. "I know, but I do worry about you. You're my sister."

Sadie leaned against the counter next to Jude. "The reporters are a nuisance, but it's actually... well, I wouldn't say fun, but I sorta feel... I don't know. The other day, all those flashbulbs going off, it was like I was a movie star or something." She put the back of one hand to her forehead and the other she stretched out in front of her. "No autographs please. I vant to be alone," she said in her best Greta Garbo imitation.

Jude nudged Sadie's shoulder as she laughed, the sound coming out naturally. "You are such a ham."

Sadie picked up her wine, confident Jude was relaxed again. "Besides, I'm not the one they want. They're waiting to get a picture of you and Tommy together." Jude had paparazzi and reporters hanging out in front of her house too. Sadie'd seen them when she'd driven up. And they were constantly hounding her at EastPhy, just like they did Tommy. He'd denied any romantic involvement with Jude at his press conference, told the reporters they were old friends and once again co-workers. But Tommy arriving at Jude's tonight would only stir the pot. "I thought you'd cancel dinner."

Jude vehemently shook her head. "No, you know how I feel about this. I won't change my life because of a little gossip. I'm used to it and I can handle it. You're not used to it, and that's why I'm worried. But if you say it's okay, I have to accept that." Jude knew her sister was right. Kwest would protect Sadie, even if it meant asking Quincy to leave. His wife came before his best friend. "I asked the three of you to come over, and we are going to have a lovely meal together. Screw the reporters."

"It would help if you had a boyfriend," Sadie said in a sing-song voice. She took a sip of wine and eye'd Jude meaningfully over the rim of her glass.

Jude sighed loudly and braced herself for another conversation about her non-existent personal life. But she was spared by the sight of Kwest and Quincy walking in the back door. She was never so happy to see two people in her entire life.

Hugs, kisses and hellos were exchanged as the two men entered. Rocky made his presence known, and the guys included him too. Kwest patted him on the head and then wandered over to the stove. "Something smells good." He lifted the lid off the back pan. "You made salsa chiara." The term he'd coined for Jude's 'light sauce'. He noticed the sausage frying in the other pan. "You know you don't have to do this. She only bought it to bug you. I think your sauce is perfect the way it is."

Jude nudged him aside. The sausage was almost done. She wanted to add the sauce and let it simmer together so the flavors would blend. "I was getting ready to separate it. Do you want to go veggie with me tonight? I can set aside enough for two." Kwest slid his eyes away from her, and Jude poked him in the ribs. "Carnivore." He guiltily walked over to where Sadie was pouring wine for the new arrivals. Jude started ladling sauce into the pan with the sausage.

Tommy walked up behind her, glass of wine in hand. "It _does_ smell good." He peaked over her shoulder. "But that doesn't mean it taste good," he challenged. Jude's eyes lit up over the implied insult, which was what he expected. She huffed as she silently handed him a spoon. He dipped the spoon into the sauce, brought it to his lips. She arched one eyebrow and tapped her foot impatiently. Tommy smiled. "Okay, so you _can_ cook. It is _really_ good."

Jude went back to what she was doing. "Did you think I invited you to dinner to poison you?" She pretended she was still annoyed, but secretly she was thrilled he liked it. "Well, you maybe, but I wouldn't do that to Kwest or Sadie." He laughed, and Jude had to smile. She hadn't seen him since she'd walked out of his studio on Tuesday. Not avoiding him on purpose, but busy with her own work and not going out of her way to talk to him either. The building was buzzing with gossip because of the tabloid stories, and although Jude didn't care about the press, she did care what her co-workers thought. Putting a little distance between her and Quincy was necessary. But she did have fun with him on Sunday and at lunch, and she'd... missed him. "I'm glad you're here, Quincy."

"I'm glad you invited me, Harrison." Tommy missed her too. He wanted to talk to her before and after the press conference, but Jude had locked herself in her studio, the shades drawn, a definite sign she didn't want to be interrupted. He couldn't blame her. The press was one thing, but even he couldn't ignore the hushed whispers and darting glances that seemed to intensify with every step he took around the building. The gossips were loving the situation. He'd waited for her to resend the dinner invitation. When she hadn't, when Kwest knocked on his door earlier to ask him if he was ready to go, he'd been relieved. And now he was standing in her kitchen and she was smiling at him, happy to have him in her home. "Do I get to see the rest of the house or what?"

Jude put down the ladle. "That can arranged. Give me a second." She filled a stockpot with water, put it on the stove, and turned the burner on underneath. Then she refilled her own wine glass and looked to her sister. "Can you watch things while I give Quincy the tour?"

"Sure." Sadie walked over to the stove. "Where are we?"

Jude pointed as she spoke. "I just put the water on, so it'll be a while before it starts to boil. You can fix the garlic bread and set the table, if you want. The garlic's in the roaster, and you know where everything else is."

Sadie nodded. "I can handle the bread and Kwest can set the table." She pushed Jude out of the kitchen. "We'll be fine."

Jude walked Tommy through the first floor of the house, telling him about the renovations done in each room. He spent extra time admiring the set-up in the media room and Jude kidded him about being 'such a guy'. As they walked upstairs, she showed him where they'd replaced different parts of the banister. The past owners neglected to take care of the house, and when Jude bought it, all of the wood needed to be replaced or refinished. She walked him through the second floor, telling him how she'd divided up the space from the third bedroom. "I debated on doing it. It's sort of a rule that you shouldn't downsize the bedrooms, but with a house this size, one bathroom for three bedrooms seemed ridiculous. And there was no closet space, so really it had to be done." She stood with him on the landing. "What do you think?"

"It's a beautiful house, girl. I can see why you fell in love with it. And you've done an amazing job restoring it." Tommy was impressed. The house was a mixture of Victorian elegance and Jude's personality. The furniture in each room was inviting, not stuffy, and she had photos of friends and family scattered throughout. It felt like a home, not just a house. And it was impossible to miss how proud she was of it. He looked up the staircase. "What about the third floor?"

Jude started walking down the stairs. "Master bedroom. You don't need to see that." She'd be damned if she'd show him her bedroom. The space was huge, but anyone with a keen eye could easily see that not all of it was being used. He'd already asked her about a studio, and she didn't want him getting curious. She turned when she realized he wasn't following her. "I'm serious, Quincy, my bedroom isn't part of the tour. Dinner's almost ready. Let's go."

Tommy reluctantly followed her, but his mind kept thinking about the third floor. What would Jude's bedroom look like? He remembered what her old bedroom looked like. Typical teenager obsessed with music, band posters covering the walls, and furniture that was less than extraordinary. Sadie had kept it; he was currently sleeping in her old bed. But if her new bedroom looked anything like the rest of the house, he knew it would be special.

And of course, he just wanted to see her bed. So he had fantasies about Jude, what guy wouldn't? He wanted to be able to picture her lying in her bed. Or better yet, both of them lying in her bed. He let his mind linger on that thought for a moment. Jude, barely dressed in one of those flimsy little scraps of material women wore to seduce men, her hair splayed out on pillow, her arms reaching up for him. And he'd come to her willingly. His fingers hooking under the straps of her negligee, pulling it down to reveal her -

"Quincy!" Jude's voice invaded his fantasy, obviously annoyed. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at him. Tommy realized at some point in his daydream he'd stopped walking. Good thing or he easily could have fallen since he wasn't paying attention. He shook his head, trying to return his thoughts to the present. Jude put her hands on her hips as she continued to stare at him. "Where'd you go?"

Tommy walked down to join her. "Just thinking." He quickly moved past her towards the kitchen, not wanting to get to close to her, afraid he'd do something really stupid. "So what exactly are we having for dinner?"

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"The meal was wonderful. My compliments to the chef." Kwest took Jude's hand before she could clear his plate and dropped a kiss on the inside of her wrist. "You outdid yourself, little sister."

Jude smiled, blushed a little in embarrassment. "Thanks, big brother." She picked up the empty pasta bowl and loaded it to the rest of the dishes she was carrying. "I stopped at Franco's, so we have cannoli for dessert. Anyone interested?"

Everyone agreed dessert sounded like a good idea. Sadie helped Jude finish clearing the table, then helped her bring in the dessert and cappuccinos. Tommy took a sip of his. "I must admit I was skeptical, but this has been an amazing dinner. You are a damn good cook, girl. And you make decent cappuccino too."

"Thank you very much." Jude took a bow before sitting down. "It was Sadie's idea to take the classes, and I wasn't really interested. But after we started, I liked it. Cooking's actually fun if you know what you're doing. And I can feed myself, which is a nice bonus."

Sadie swallowed her bite of cannoli. "God, I love these things. I'll never understand why mom didn't teach us. She's a good cook, and I picked-up stuff from watching her, but she never made a point to show us anything."

"We never made a point to ask either. I had music, you had school and all your activities. Maybe if we'd pushed it." Jude shrugged. "Who knows. I don't understand anything that woman does."

Tommy glanced between Jude and Sadie. "I thought everything was okay between you and your mom now." Last he'd heard, Victoria and Don had visited right before Christmas, even stayed with Sadie and Kwest. Kwest didn't mention the situation had changed.

Sadie patted his arm and smiled. "Don't mind, Jude. Mom finally found out she bought into EastPhy. Nagged Jude for hours about what a shaky investment it was, and how she was jeopardizing her future by putting all her money into it."

"She thinks music is a hobby, not a real job," Jude added, her face contorting with anger. "I could produce a thousand platinum records and she'd still think I wasn't living up to my potential because I didn't go to university. I'm never enough for her." It was a long standing argument, one Jude hated. She'd forgiven her mother for fleeing to Italy with her new husband, but she couldn't forgive her always looking down on her own daughter.

"You know it's not you," Kwest told her sympathetically. "She sees what you do and thinks of your dad, and that's all it takes to set her off." He looked at Tommy. "There was a minor truce when Sadie was sick, but they still fight like cats and dogs. We can't have both of them at the house at the same time."

Tommy nodded in understanding, and decided to switch to, hopefully, a better topic. "How is Stuart? I forgot to ask before now."

Jude brightened immediately. "Dad's great. He loves his job, loves Vancouver. He has a steady girlfriend, who's coming out for a few days while he's here in July, so we can meet her." She started to laugh. "I told him, it's supposed to be the kids who bring the dates home to meet the parents. We miss him, but he's happy again, so it's all good."

"And he is so proud of you," Sadie reminded her. She knew how much their mother's constant badgering about her career choice affected Jude. It was completely unfair. Jude wasn't some starving artist eeking out a living. She made good money. And she loved what she did. What more could a parent want for her child?

"Proud of both of us," Jude said. "I think the day he walked you down the aisle was the proudest of his life. Maybe even more than when you graduated, or when my second album went platinum." She beamed across the table at Kwest. "He loves the fact you're married to a great guy. He's dad. He's always stood behind our decisions."

A sudden image of his own father floated in front of Tommy. It was good Jude and Sadie realized how lucky they were to have even one parent who gave them that type of support.

Kwest saw the almost undetectable change in Tommy's manner. It wasn't difficult to figure out what he was thinking, or more accurately, who he was thinking about. Time for another subject change. "T, tell Jude what happened with Lyndsey today. Maybe she knows what's wrong with the girl."

Tommy straightened in his chair. Lyndsey. He almost forgot. At least Kwest had been there this time, had seen it too, so he knew he wasn't going crazy. Jude looked at him confused. Tommy shook his head. "I bumped into her in hospitality. Literally, bumped into her. I was reading a file and didn't see her standing there talking to Kwest. But I barely brushed her. She was okay for a second, but it seemed like as soon as she saw it was me, she went off. Pissed as hell. Ended up stalking out of the room." Tommy had no idea what he'd done to the girl, but she was out for his blood.

"Lyndsey got mad?" Sadie said with the same unbelieving tone Kwest used the first time Tommy told him the girl had gone off on him. "That's not right. Lyndsey's... hell, if she's anything, she's a flirt. Diana's the one with the attitude."

Kwest leaned across the table towards Tommy. "I told you something wasn't right. When she isn't flirting she's got her head buried in a book. Half the time she walks around like the absent-minded professor. And she was fine until you walked in. All excited about working on the last song for the album. Did you do something to her?"

Tommy held up his hands in front of him in self-defense. "The first time I met her, she insulted me. I don't think it was intentional, and she apologized later. I thought everything as okay, but ever since then it's been like this. She sees me and she's fine, and then suddenly, she becomes this bitch. It's like she has to think about it first. I do my best to stay out of her way."

Jude was silent as the conversation continued around her. The other three trying to figure out what Quincy might have done to upset the usually easy-going girl. The more she listened, the more Jude knew they'd never come up with an answer, because it had nothing to do with Tommy at all. She could see Diana's handiwork all over the situation. Di must have said something to Lyndsey about the conversation Jude had with her. It was typical Diana to step-in, and typical Lyndsey to do whatever her sister asked, and to go overboard in the process. The puppet and the puppet-master. Finally Jude spoke. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Finals are coming up and she's stressed, plus the album and the tour. She might be channeling all her anxiety in one place, and you happen to be where she's aiming it. I'm sure it'll change." _As soon as I talk to Di_, Jude thought.

Tommy gave her a look that said 'yeah, right', but he let it go. He finished his cannoli, went back to his sipping his cappuccino. "Anyone heard from Darius lately?" It seemed like an out-of-the-blue question, but Tommy'd been thinking about his old mentor for quite some time. Portia too. In the three years he'd been gone, he'd managed to work through his feelings for both of them. About Angie and the cover-up, Hunter, his first marriage, leaving BoyzAttack. All of it. But he needed to talk to them so he could finally put the past behind him. Unfortunately, he'd lost track of Darius and wasn't sure how to find him. Tommy looked around the table, suddenly aware of how quiet the room had become.

Sadie's worried glance passed between Jude and her husband. Jude's head was bowed down, her eyes focused on her plate. Kwest was staring directly at Tommy, anger radiating off of him. His jaw tightened and the words came out like a growl. "We don't talk about him anymore." He pushed his chair back from the table with more force than necessary, and stood. "If you'll excuse me, I need some fresh air."

Tommy couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Kwest this upset. He didn't think he'd _ever_ seen Kwest this upset. He watched as his best friend walked out of the room, purpose in each step, and slammed the back door behind him as he went outside. Tommy turned his head to Sadie. "Was it something I said?"

She pulled her eyes away from Jude, the worry not leaving her face. "It was unexpected, that's all. You picked some damn interesting after-dinner conversation, Thomas."

Thomas? Tommy let out a low whistle. "I'm missing something here."

"You have _no_ idea." Sadie brushed her hair behind her ears. "The last time we saw Darius -"

"Rocky needs to go out," Jude announced, interrupting her sister. "I think I'll go with him and keep Kwest company." And she walked out before anyone could argue, taking the dog with her.

Sadie shook her head. "Let's go into the living room. I don't want them hearing any of this." Tommy followed, still confused as to what was going on. Once they were seated, Sadie began again. "The last time we saw Darius, there was a fight. Him and Kwest. It was bad and we don't talk about it."

Tommy ran his hand through his hair. Kwest was fighting with Darius. Kwest, his even tempered friend. Oh god, it had to be bad. He prepared himself for the worst. "He never told me. What happened?"

Sadie bit her bottom lip, trying to decide where to begin. "You were gone. It was about five months after you left. Earlier that week, Kwest told Jude about your move to Chicago. She'd also started fighting with Krause about her album, her contract. She was... let's just say she was upset and you can imagine the rest. Jamie and Paegan were redoing the space, setting up the company, and all of us were helping. Darius walked in. Walked in like he owned the place, you know how he can be. Kwest was okay at first. I knew he was upset, but he was calm. I don't think any of us really knew what to think. Darius was going on-and-on about getting kicked out of G-Major, kicked out of his own company. He'd found out about Jude standing up to Krause, and he said he was proud of her. Told her to hold out, because when he was back in charge..." Sadie sighed. "Like I said, Darius being Darius. Anyway, he asked about you, and that's when Kwest pretty much lost his mind."

"Shit," Tommy said and sunk back into the couch cushions.

"He started screaming at Darius. Why the hell did he want to know about you. He'd never cared about you before. He'd done his best to twist you into knots. He let you take the blame for something that wasn't your fault, and then stood by and let it destroy you. Darius started yelling back, saying he was only trying to protect you, protect his sister. Kwest laughed, got right in his face. Told him both him and his sister could go hell where they belonged. It just got worse from there." Sadie paused. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and put herself back in the moment.

"Oh my god." Tommy closed his eyes too, tried to imagine what Sadie told him, but he couldn't. It just wasn't Kwest. "So that's why he doesn't want to talk about Darius."

Sadie held up her hand. "Oh, I'm not done. It wasn't over yet. I was standing next to Jude, my arm around her. She was shaking, crying, she couldn't handle what was going on. None of us knew what to do; if we should stop it, if we should stay out of it. Finally, Darius said she's my sister, what did you expect me to do? Kwest grabbed him, drug him over to us. He pointed at Jude and said, and she's her sister. Hunter had a knife to her throat. A knife you might as well have put there. You and Portia. She killed Angie, you covered it up, and Jude almost died." Sadie rubbed her hands up and down her arms, feeling the goosebumps that had emerged as she remembered the moment so vividly. "And then Darius said, Portia didn't mean for any of this to happen. She didn't mean for Angie to die. And then, word for word, I swear, Kwest said, 'No, she meant for Tommy to die. She cut the brake lines on his car. She was trying to kill Tommy.' Obviously Darius didn't want to hear the truth, because he slapped Kwest. Then Kwest dove for him. It took Jamie, Paegan, Spied, all the guys to pull him off. But he got in several good punches before they did. Darius stumbled out the door, and we haven't seen him since."

--- TBC

_Late Nights and Street Fights - Dirty Vegas_

Once again, thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Sadie and Tommy aren't done talking, but I thought it was a good place to end the chapter. Tommy's Jude fantasy was something I threw in as I was editing. I hope you liked it!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Sex and Violence**

More memories of that day passed through Sadie's mind. It was a long time before things went back to normal. "After Darius was gone, all of us sort of dispersed through the building. We couldn't look at each other, let alone talk about what had happened."

Tommy let his had fall back against the sofa. "I'm sure seeing Kwest freak-out like that was a surprise for everyone. I've been friends with him for over ten years and I've only seen him really angry a handful of times."

"That isn't..." Sadie stood up suddenly, walked towards the fireplace. She pulled down a picture of Jude and Kwest, their arms slung over each other's shoulders, smiling. It was from her wedding. She rubbed her thumb over the edge of the frame. "I know Jude was in the room when Portia broke down and she knew the truth, but..." Sadie searched for the right words. "I don't think the rest of us wanted to face it. The one's who didn't know Angie. It was like there was a barrier between what Portia did and the person we knew her to be. We could distance ourselves from it, but Kwest didn't have that luxury, and the minute he said it, the barrier dissolved. The realization it... it changed everything." She put the picture down and turned back to Tommy. "Portia tried to kill you. You! Someone we knew. It made it all more real somehow, and we didn't know what to do about it. We sure as hell didn't know what to say to Kwest. Or to Jude. We - I couldn't help either of them." She laughed, but the sound was hollow. "I've never felt more useless in my entire life."

Tommy joined her by the fireplace and wrapped his arms around her, offering her comfort. His own guilt was eating at his insides. His best friend and the woman he loved dealing with the mess he'd left behind. Typical Tommy, absent when he was needed the most.

After a few minutes, Sadie pulled away. She hadn't cried, but she'd been on the verge when Tommy came to her. It was difficult to look back and not second-guess what she'd done. Or more accurately, hadn't done. She sat down again, motioned for Tommy to join her. "Kwest and I never talked about what happened. Not really talked about it. He did that with Jude. They spent a lot of time together at the rehearsal space. If I didn't trust them so much, I would have been jealous. Each understood what the other was going through. Thinking it might have been you instead of Angie, it tore them up inside. And they'd both kept those emotions buried for months. But it was out and they had to deal with it."

Tommy glanced through the archway to the dining room, saw the windows that looked out onto the back yard, knew both Kwest and Jude were out there. "Are you sure they dealt with it?"

"They dealt with it the best they could." Sadie knew what he was thinking. Kwest's outburst, and the way Jude had escaped the conversation, didn't exactly scream 'We're okay with things'. "It's never going to go away completely, not for Kwest. He thinks he should have seen how out of control Portia was. That he could have prevented what happened. It's unrealistic, and he knows it, but it bothers him anyway. And it's only made him more protective of Jude."

The comment confused Tommy. "Jude? You mean because of Hunter?"

"No, because of Portia. Tommy, do you -" Sadie stopped. How could he not see this? To her it was obvious and utterly terrifying. "Do you understand how crazy she is? What she did, it wasn't a crime of passion. It took _planning_ and _patience_. She had to think about what she could do to your car. Then she had find out how to cut the brake lines. Then she had to do it. Then, she stood back and waited for someone to die. It wasn't who she intended, but it solved the problem, at least temporarily. My god! I'm surprised she didn't try again after you divorced her. I think the only thing that stopped her was the fact Darius knew. He was probably watching her after that. Of course, what he should have done was get her some psychiatric help. Well, he should have turned her in, but..."

"Sadie, I know what she did, but she didn't mean for anyone to die. She told me so. She didn't want me to leave her. " But part of Tommy thought Sadie might be right, and a chill ran up his spine.

"Are _you_ crazy?" Sadie asked indignantly. "Look, I know she was your wife, and it's difficult to think someone you were married to was this person and you never saw it. But look at the facts. After what happened to Angie, you'd think she'd feel so guilt she'd back-off. Instead she continued to... berate you for years. She took every chance she could get to make you look like the bad guy. Especially if it was in front of another woman. When we were dating, she wanted to help me, remember? She wanted to be my best friend. Now, I realize all she did was feed my insecurities about you. Six years later, and after what she'd done, she was still jealous of any woman who got close to you. She was trying to sabotage our relationship. You have no idea how relieved I am that she's in jail. It scares me to think about what she might have done to Jude. Someone you really loved."

"She wouldn't have hurt Jude," Tommy said through clenched teeth. The thought of what happened to Angie happening to Jude settling like a rock in his stomach.

Sadie rolled her eyes at his naiveté. "Do you know Portia's the one who sent Jude upstairs the night of her eighteenth birthday?" She saw the surprise on Tommy's face. "There's a lot that happened that night you don't know about, but I've managed to piece together a few things. Jude was looking for you, and Portia told her to try your hotel room. Now at this point, Portia already knew Hunter was at the party. She might not have known you and Jude were together, but she knew you two were close, which made Jude a target for Hunter's revenge. The last thing a _sane_ person would have done, a person who was trying to _protect_ Jude would have done, was send her upstairs to find you. Anyone else would have sent her back into the party where she'd be surrounded by people. Where she'd be safe. But Portia didn't do that. I can't prove it, but I know Portia saw you and I together, saw me take you upstairs. And she knew you were drunk. She was trying to hurt Jude on purpose."

Tommy didn't want to buy into Sadie's conspiracy theory, no matter how logical it sounded, but... "Portia knew about me and Jude. When she saw Hunter, she asked questions, and I told her we were together."

Another piece of the puzzle. Now Sadie was positive of Portia's motives for sending Jude to Tommy's room. If she ever got her hands on that bitch... "Then you know what I'm saying is true. And you know why Portia scare me." She tucked her legs under her. "I've thought about what I would have done if I was in Darius' shoes. If my sister killed someone, what would I do. But I can't go there, because Jude would never do that. Not like Portia did. I mean, if it was life or death, her life or someone else's, I could see it. An immediate threat. I think anyone is capable if pushed into that type of situation. But Portia had a plan. That, Jude could never do. So I find it impossible to sympathize with Darius at all. In my opinion, he made the situation worse."

Tommy roughly ran his hand over his face. The guilt was never going to go away completely, but at least he knew it wasn't all his fault. "Kwest was right. Darius left me spinning in the wind. There are so many things I did... So many things I might have done differently if I'd known the truth."

_Jude_, Sadie thought. _He would have been different with Jude_. Hopefully it wasn't too late for them to have a second chance. Okay forth, maybe fifth chance. But that was something Tommy needed to work out with her sister. She'd gotten them in the same country; the rest was up to them. And not part of this discussion. "Jude and Kwest, they were... stuck is the best way to put it, I guess. For a few months they were stuck."

"Stuck how?" Tommy asked with concern.

Sadie titled her head and furrowed her forehead. "Just... stuck. They couldn't get passed what happened. Kwest was producing at EastPhy, and he liked it, but every time he walked through the lobby, I could see him tense. The fight with Darius was haunting him. And Jude was still fighting with Krause, wavering about what she was going to do next. She was producing at EastPhy too, but Krause was pushing her to complete her third album. Everyone could tell she didn't want to go back into the studio. Part of it was not wanting to go back to G-Major, but part of it was not being over you."

"Oh," Tommy said, sinking back into the cushions.

Sadie laughed. "Yeah. Oh." She shook her head at him. Another thing he'd probably feel guilty about for years. "Then I found the lump. In a way, my cancer was a blessing. They both stopped living in the past. It forced them to focus on the present. Kwest stopped thinking about Portia and Darius, and started thinking about me. Everyday he told me how much he missed seeing me at work. The memory of me superseding the memory of Darius. He also told me about all the things we were going to do together after I got better. He started planning our future. I knew the day he bought my engagement ring. He didn't propose until months after, but I knew." Tommy smirked and Sadie shrugged. Women's intuition. "Jude finally told Krause to take a flying leap, decided to wait out her contract. And she stopped moping over you." Sadie frowned. "Although, for some reason, I don't think that was just about what was going on with me. Something else was going on too. She never told me what it was, but something else happened while I was sick."

Tommy sat up straight again, the hairs on the back of his neck raised. "What do you mean something else happened?"

Sadie debated, knowing her audience, but decided to share anyway. "I think she met someone. I can't prove it, but she had that look about her. Like there was a new guy in her life." She waved it off. "Whoever it was, if there was a whoever, it must not have been serious. I never met him and it didn't end up in papers, so it wasn't like she was dating him. I don't know. Maybe she just found someone to talk to."

Jealousy stirred. Sadie's 'theories' had been pretty on the mark all night. He bet if she thought there was a guy, there was a guy. But not serious. He could live with that. He sighed loudly. Hell, it wasn't like he had any say over what Jude did while he was gone. _He'd_ gotten married.

Sadie patted his knee. Poor bastard. "Anyway. What I'm trying to say, is that things finally went back to normal. But we don't talk about Darius or Portia. They're not a part of our lives anymore, and that suits me just fine. So, please, don't bring it up again. At least, not in front of Jude or Kwest. If you want to talk, I'll listen, but we'll do it where the two of them can't hear us." She stood once more. "I'm tired. I'm going to collect my husband and we are going home."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Diana strolled into Jude's studio Friday morning acting like she owned it, which was typical behavior. She dropped down into the chair next to Jude and plopped her boots on the edge of the soundboard. "What's up?"

Jude pushed Diana's feet off the console. "How many times do I have to tell you? No shoes on my board!" Diana lifted her feet again, putting them on the arms of Jude's chair instead. "Oh, that's _so_ much better." But Jude didn't move them.

Diana grabbed the pile of CDs on her right and started flipping through them. "And again, I ask. What's up?"

Jude took the CDs away from her, put them back where they'd been. "Do you understand the term personal? Stop touching my stuff."

"Oh, great. You're in a mood." Diana air-quoted the words. "I said to myself, 'Stop by. See what Harry's doing. Be a good friend.' And all I get is bitch and moan, bitch and moan." She'd come from the design department, having dropped off the acknowledgements the band wanted added to the layout of their album liner notes.

Jude threw the CDs back in Diana's lap, not wanting to argue. She had other things on her mind. "Do what you want; you will anyway."

Diana arched an eyebrow at her friend's tone. She finished looking through the CDs and immediately handed them back to Jude. "I don't want these. These bands suck."

"You are the most..." Jude put her hands in front of her and mimed strangling Diana's neck as she let out a frustrated scream. Diana stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes. Jude shook her head. What was she going to do with this girl? "I'm finishing the mix of your last song, that's what's up. Now go away, I'm busy."

"Big mistake telling me that, Harry. I'm staying now. I want to hear it." Diana had about two hours before she had to be in class. She could easily waste them hanging out in the studio. And she was dying to hear the last song.

Jude knew it was no use kicking her out. Diana would go bug someone else, and they'd drag her back to Jude anyway, like she was a wayward child. Truthfully, she didn't mind Di's presence. It kept her mind off the other things. Like the dinner at her house, Quincy asking about Darius, Kwest's anger over said subject. The quick kiss on the cheek Quincy had given her as he was walking out. Too much to worry about. "Stay then, but be quiet." She turned up the volume and tried once more to figure out what was bothering her about the song. Either something was missing, or something needed to be taken out. She wasn't sure. She'd already been listening to it for twenty minutes before Di's interruption trying to figure out the problem.

Diana tapped away to the drum beat, the urge to grab her sticks out of her back pocket almost unbearable, but Harry would kick her out for sure if she did that. The song played four times before Diana said, "So is it done? It sounds done."

Jude frowned. "It doesn't sound... off to you?' Diana shrugged. "It isn't right. I can't tell you why, but it isn't right yet."

Diana happened to glance out the studio glass as Tommy walking by. She hopped up from her chair and threw open the door. "Quincy! Come here a minute," she yelled.

Tommy arched an eyebrow at the command, but he wandered over. "You bellowed, madam?" He didn't care what the rest of them said, Diana was much nicer than her sister.

Diana drug him into the studio. "Listen to this song and tell Harry it's fine, so she'll close out my album."

Uh! Jude so did not want Quincy's opinion on this. If it was something minor, something she should have caught, she'd feel like an idiot. And if he didn't hear a problem, Diana would bug her to stop fiddling with the song. But Jude wasn't happy how it sounded, and until she was, she wasn't going to stop.

Tommy'd been on his way to hospitality to get more coffee, having told the band he was working with to take five. If he'd known this was what Diana called him over for, he would have ignored her. It was obvious Jude didn't want him there. He could see it on her face. If she'd wanted his opinion, she would have asked for it. But he was in the room now. "We all listen to each other's stuff. Play the song." Jude grumbled under her breath, but she hit the play button anyway. She sat and waited while Tommy listened intently to the song. "Is this what you and Lyndsey were working on the other day?" Tommy asked. Diana nodded. As the song finished, he sat down. "Play it again." Jude rolled her eyes, but did as he asked. This time he ignored the lyrics and concentrate on the music. "Once more." Half way through the third play, he shook his head. "Something's not right."

"Well, shit," Diane said from behind them. "It sounds fine to me."

Jude ignored her. Okay, at least he heard it too. And if it was obvious, he would have told her already. "Yeah, I know that. But what is it?" The song ended and she played it again. "The guitar maybe?"

Tommy rested his elbow on the console and continued to shake his head. "I don't know." He looked over at Jude. "Have you backed out each of the instruments? Tried to isolate it?"

"I did that about an hour ago, but I still can't pin it down." She bit her bottom lip, worried now. "I played each track separately. I played them together. I slow it down. I sped it up. I tweaked the tracks. I inserted different takes. I did everything but call them back into the studio to record it again. I can't figure it out."

Tommy glanced down at his watch. Ten minutes. He was late. "Look, I got a band waiting, but I'm done in an hour. I'll come back and we'll figure it out then."

"I can't. I've got someone in," Jude looked at the studio clock, "fifteen minutes, and I'm back-to-back for the rest of the day." She sighed in frustration. "I didn't expect this would take so long."

Tommy mentally went over the rest of his day. "I'm booked too, but I'm free after six. You want to work on it then?" It's not like he had plans for later, besides dinner with Sadie and Kwest at home. What was the world coming to when Tom Quincy didn't have Friday night plans?

Jude knew she was stuck in the studio until the song was done. A little help might make it go faster. Another set of ears to hear the problem. "Six-thirty for me. Do you mind staying late?"

Tommy smiled. "Hell, no. Now you've got me interested. I want to know what's wrong with it too." Time alone in a studio with Jude. Like he'd pass that up. "I'll grab dinner for us. We can work on it while we eat."

"Sounds like a plan." Jude beamed. "Thanks, Quincy."

"Not a problem." Tommy stood up, walked toward the door. "I'll see you at six-thirty. Bye, Diana."

When he was gone, Diane sat back down in the chair he'd vacated. She noticed Jude was still smiling. "Oooh. A date with the ex to work on music. How interesting." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Jude's smile disappeared and her shoulders straightened. "It is not a date. And in this situation, he is not my ex. He's my co-worker, and he's helping me out."

"Out of your pants, maybe," Diana said suggestively.

"Diana!" Jude swatted at her. "I can't believe you said that."

Di slumped back in her seat. "Harry, please! Like you don't know the guy's hot. And hot for you. Still. I say get a little while you can. You don't have to date the guy, just have sex with him." Jude stood up and started putting away tapes, ignoring Diana the best she could. But she was blushing, and Di saw it. "I know it's been a while. Aren't you... frustrated? Vibrators can only do so much. Sometimes you just need a man." Jude began to hum to block out the Diana's voice. "And you have to be curious. All the hype about Little Tommy Q and his supposedly _not_ Little Tommy." Jude hummed louder. "You're a producer and a musician. You've got to have one fantasy about your bare butt on the soundboard, with a guy between your legs. Maybe it's with him on his knees and he's -"

"_Enough_!" Jude yelled. She was bright red now. "Oh my god, would you stop!" She leaned her forehead against a shelving unit. "You are _unbelievable_! And I'm _never_ leaving you and Andy along in my studio again."

"Too late," Jude swung around, her eyes wide. "It wasn't your studio, so you don't have to worry," Diana quickly assured her. "It wasn't even this building. It was the music lab at school." She smiled slyly. "And I highly recommend the experience, in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't, And thanks for the _visual_," Jude growled.

Diana let out an exasperated sigh. "Oh, Harry, it's just sex. When did you turn into a prude? We've talked about this stuff before."

"Abstractly," Jude reminded her. "Now I'm going to have to sit in here with Quincy, and I know this conversation is going to play through my head, whether I want it to or not."

"If it does, I'd say it's a sign you should _do something about it_," Diana stressed each word. There was serious sparkage between the two, and Harry was strung tighter than a piano wire. She didn't see the problem. "Let the guy screw your brains out. You need to get laid."

Jude closed the curtains and locked the door. With her luck, she'd be in the middle of what she was saying and Quincy would walk back in. She leaned against the wall and stared at Diana. "Okay, I've thought about it." Di started to laugh. "But it's been a long time since Quincy's been the guy in the fantasy. And yes, he's hot. And god knows, if that body and face were attached to any other man, I'd be tempted. But it's Quincy, and it would only complicate an already complicated situation. He's bad for me. B-A-D, bad. He's hurt me enough. I don't want to add sex to the list of things I've shared with him and regretted later."

For a minute, Diana pondered over what her friend said. Harry had a point. They'd already talked about closure, and sex might not be the best way to get there. She'd heard it sometimes could help, but she didn't see Harry as that type of woman. "But if you didn't have history with him?"

Jude suddenly thought back to her sixteenth birthday. "In the immortal words of Tom Quincy, in a split second. But we do, so it's not gonna happen."

"Well, that sucks." Diana stood up. She might as well leave. The conversation wasn't interesting anymore and the song wasn't done. "I'll guess I'll get out of your hair."

Jude pointed to the chair. "Sit back down. We aren't done yet." Di frowned, but sat. Jude crossed her arms in front of her. "I heard that Lyndsey's being a complete bitch to Quincy. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" she asked pointedly.

Diana winced. Her sister had no subtly. "She smiled at him," she said as an explanation. Jude looked lost. Diana showed her 'the smile' then let her face go back to normal. "Big, bright eyes, straight white teeth, dimple pushed in as far as it goes. She was trolling for a summer bootie call, and I told her to knock it off. So she swung the pendulum all the way to the other side. Like they say in Vegas, she's making her point the hard way."

"Does she have a middle ground?" Jude sat down in her own chair. She liked Lyndsey, but she didn't know her as well as she knew Diana. "She did it in front of Kwest yesterday, and between him, Quincy and Sadie, they're all trying to figure out what her problem is. And she's not clever about it. It's obvious it's an act and someone is going to catch on eventually."

Diana winced again. She was supposed to be the bitch, but trouble seemed to follow Lyndsey where ever she went. "What do you want me to tell her?"

"I don't want her _smiling_ at him, but she can drop the attitude." Jude thought about the look on Quincy's face when he was talking about Lyndsey. It was priceless. "He's so confused by her multiple personalities, he isn't going to get anywhere near her. Her job is done."

"Okay, but guys get over stuff like this pretty quick. Are you sure you want her to drop it?" Diana hoped Jude wouldn't regret her decision later on.

"I'm sure," Jude said on a sigh. If Quincy 'got over it', there was still the fraternization policy. And if he ignored that, he deserved to be fired.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It was after eight when Jude and Tommy finally figured out what was wrong. It was minor, and easily corrected, but also easily missed. It took Jude less than twenty minutes to finish re-mixing the song. She made multiple copies and then put away the master. She pulled up all the individual songs on her computer, so she could work on finalizing the track placement for the album. "Thanks for the help. I couldn't have done it without you."

"You would have figured it out," Tommy assured her. "It might have taken you another two hours..." Jude laughed because she knew he was right. He watched her work on her computer. "You're not going home?"

"I told Jamie I'd have the album done tonight. I need to stay." Jude probably could have finished it over the weekend, but then she'd have to come back in to drop off a completed CD so Jamie could listen to it Monday morning. She had plans to work on her own music at home and didn't want to be interrupted. "But you can go. I've already taken up too much of your time. It's Friday night, go have fun."

_But I am having fun_, Tommy thought. _I'm with you._ He tapped his fingers on the arms of his chair. He needed something to keep her talking. Something that wasn't an obvious stall for more time with her. "Your contract with G-Major is up. When are you going to start your next album?"

Jude gave him a sideways glance. "Did Kwest put you up to this?"

Tommy heard the agitation in her voice. "Up to what?"

"The whole new album thing. Did Kwest tell you to ask me?" Jude fumed. It would be just like Kwest. He promised not to say anything in front of Sadie again, but that didn't mean he wouldn't talk to Quincy about it.

Tommy could see the anger starting to build in her eyes. "No, Kwest and I haven't talk about it."

Jude leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms in front of her defensively. "Then it was Sadie."

"Not Sadie either." Tommy chuckled. Obviously this was a topic that had come up before. "Is there some plot to get you back in the studio I don't know about?"

He sounded genuinely baffled and Jude relaxed. "They've both been bugging me about it. I love to produce, and that's what I'm concentrating on right now. They have a different idea about what I should be doing. It's an argument we've been having for months."

Tommy scratched his head. "I must admit, I don't understand it either. You love to sing. Why aren't you in the studio?"

Jude waved her hand around and smiled. "I'm in the studio right now."

Tommy narrowed his eyes. "You know what I meant. Why aren't you recording, singing your own songs. Where's the next platinum Jude Harrison album?"

"You sound just like them." And Jude was sick, sick, sick of having the same conversations over-and-over again. If it wasn't Kwest bugging her about her album, it was Jamie bugging her about Quincy. Or Sadie bugging her about both! She slapped her hands on the board. "Before you showed up, Kwest and I were working twelve to fourteen hour days, sometimes seven days a week. When the hell have I had time to start a new album?"

Tommy nodded. Yes, he'd definitely hit one her hot buttons. "Okay, but I'm here now, and you have time. So when do we get back in the studio?"

Jude blinked. "We? Oh no. No way are you producing me ever again." She turned her attention back to her computer. "Not gonna happen."

Tommy spun her chair so she was facing him again. "Why not? We're amazing together in a studio."

And that was the moment Jude's earlier conversation with Diana came crashing to the front of her mind. Tommy was leaning towards her, his face mere centimeters away from hers. He had both hands on her chair, his arms blocking her in. And he'd just said they were amazing together in a studio. There were so many different ways... She scooted the chair away from him. "I'll admit the work is good, but the process sucks." Oh good, Jude. 'Sucks' is a word you wanted to add to the conversation.

Tommy watched the blush spread across her face, and he had no idea why. But it was interesting. "I know I was hard on you sometimes, but with a little give-and-take, I think be can find a way to make it a more pleasurable experience for both of us."

Jude stifled a groan. Hard on her. Give-and-take. Pleasurable experience. He _had_ to be doing it on purpose. "It's not a good idea, Quincy."

Tommy continued, having no idea what he was doing to her. "You have more experience now; you know what you're doing. It's not like the first time, when I had to guide you through it. And you know what it's like to be in my position, so when I ask you to do something, you'll know I'm not doing it to play with you. There's a reason behind it. And I guess I could be more sensitive about how I give you instructions. I know I can be a real dick sometimes. But you know you don't want to do it with anyone else but me. I know how you work. I know your voice. I know your sweet spot. We can -"

"That's it." Jude couldn't take anymore. It was too hard - no difficult! Difficult! It was too difficult for her to listen to him when everything he said reminded her of sex. "You need to leave. Now. Right now." She pointed towards the door.

Tommy knew he'd pushed his luck. She was mad as hell, beet red and breathing heavy. If he didn't leave, it would turn into a fight, and that's not what he wanted "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He walked towards the door, but turned before he left. "But think about it, okay? I really want to do this with you, girl."

"Out!" Jude growled. Once he was gone, she picked up a piece of paper and started fanning herself. He really wanted to do it with her? Christ!

--- TBC

_Sex and Violence - Boogie Down Productions_

I really hope no one was offended. Personally, I thought it was funny as all get out and I don't think I crossed the rated 'T' line. But if you have a different view, please let me know. And in case you missed it, Portia creeps me out. Review! Review! Review!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**I've Got You Under My Skin**

Jude sat in the middle of her bed, her guitar and her journal laying untouched at her side. All weekend she'd been trying to finish the song that would be the final chapter in her relationship with Tom Quincy. It wasn't the writers block that was bothering her. Oh, she'd experienced it before. Sometimes she'd have the need, the want to write what she was feeling, but the words refused to come out. It was part of being a songwriter. No, what was bothering her more and more with each passing hour, was the fact that the need and want to finish the song were slowly fading away. And that scared her.

Two nights of hot, sweaty sex dreams shouldn't be having that much of an impact. So they were vivid. And detailed. And varied. And _amazingly_ thorough. And when she woke up she was writhing on the bed with a pillow squeezed between her legs. She could chalk it up to frustration. After all, she was a normal, healthy woman and she hadn't slept with anyone in over a year. A good - no great, if she was being honest - sex dream now and then was nothing to worry about. But along with the sex dreams, she was having other dreams, memories really, playing back in her head. All the happy times with Tommy. Those few wonderful kisses she could never forget. That smile she once told him he saved just for her. The laughter they shared in and out of the studio. The night of her seventeenth birthday. The night before her eighteenth when they were together like she always hoped they would be. The old feelings attached to those memories were making her question if closing the book on them was really a good idea. Or even something she wanted to do.

She was constantly arguing with herself. Having to remind that naive teenage girl who's memories kept pushing to the front of her mind, that the bad times with Tommy definitely outweighed the good. To him, everything was an insurmountable problem, and he was never willing to put in the time or the effect to come up with a solution. But that was Tommy. Most times, she won the argument. But sometimes... sometimes...

She'd pick up the phone to call him, her finger lingering over that last digit of his cell number, while the war raged in her head and her heart. What would she say? We need to talk? Because truthfully, did they? What was there left to talk about? In all the years she'd known him, the one constant was Tommy's ability to leave her alone and in pain. And with that thought in mind, she could never finish dialing.

From the beginning, he did his best to sabotage whatever type of relationship they had. The kiss when she was sixteen, she was willing to overlook. His 'it never happened' strategy was unrealistic, but he was in an awkward situation. She understood that. But he dated Sadie when he knew he had no real feelings for her. He used Sadie and he hurt all of them. And when it ended badly, and who couldn't have seen that coming, all it did was put another strike against him. If he had to do the distraction thing, couldn't he have found someone else to do it with?

There there seventeen. Darius sending him to pick up his little girl, and for whatever reason not wanting anyone to know, was weird. But fine, that was Darius' problem. But it was a favor for Darius, so Tommy couldn't have demanded one condition? He couldn't have said, 'D, I've got to tell Jude, because it's not fair to leave her without telling her why.' Or he couldn't have said 'Jude, I have to do a favor for a friend and I can't tell you what it is, but I'm not leaving because I want to.' So the second one would have driven her crazy, but it would have been better than running out on her without any explanation at all. And being a complete ass in the process.

Then her eighteenth birthday and Hunter. She didn't understand why he didn't tell her what was going on from the beginning. His decision to keep her in the dark still pissed her off. He could have told her. One, because it would have kept them together, and it would have kept him close where he could watch her. And two, because she would have been better prepared to deal with what came next. She knew about the crazy fans, but if she had an inkling that Hunter was out for revenge, maybe, just maybe, she would have done things differently, taking it more seriously. As far as she was concerned, Tommy - and Darius - left her wide open.

And then there was Asia. Yes, she decided to stay. He said he loved and she decided to stay. But if he loved her so much, why didn't come back and fight for her? In all the years she'd known him, he'd _never _fought for her. Oh, he could be jealous, and more than willing to show it, but that's as far as it ever went. After everything, that's what hurt the most. Knowing she wasn't forth fighting for.

She hadn't worked out what she thought about his marriage. Knowing he didn't love Karen didn't necessarily help. Once again, he'd gone into a relationship knowing it was a mistake, rather than come back to her. How was she suppose to feel about that? Sadie kept saying he'd changed, but Jude didn't see it. It was all typical Tommy. One bad decision right after another, none of them with her in mind.

She knew, or thought, or god help her, maybe hoped, if given the chance, he'd say he still loved her. He'd been working up to it; she could see it in his eyes. But if it was love, real love, how could he treat it so carelessly over and over again? There was no acceptable answer. Not for her.

And yet, knowing all of this, her guitar sat motionless, her journal blank. She couldn't finish the damn song. Jude realized she'd started crying again, and she couldn't stop. She picked up the phone and hit three on her speed dial. Jamie answered after one ring. "Tell me I'm stupid," she said before he could utter a word.

"Uh..." Jamie felt like he'd stepped into the middle of a conversation he knew nothing about.

"Just tell me," Jude pleaded with him, her voice shaking. "Just, just, just say it. I need to hear you say it!"

Jamie's first reaction was to ask what Quincy had done, because no one else could make Jude sound like this, but he put his anger on hold. She was going through something and he didn't want to add to her problems. "You're stupid."

Jude took a few strangled breaths and smiled tentatively, even though the tears were still falling. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you, Jamie." Then she took one deep breath and a sob tore from her throat on the exhale.

The sound broke Jamie's heart. It was three years ago all over again. "Jude, are you okay? Do you need me to come over? Because I can be there in ten minutes."

"No. No, I'm fine," Jude assured him, but her voice clearly contradicted her words. "Just another one of those bad moments, ya know?" She clutched her stomach, almost doubled-over as the pain racked through her body. It was coming in waves now and she couldn't control it. Such much pain, _so much pain_.

"This isn't a moment." Jamie was already grabbing his keys, heading for the front door. "I'm coming over, Jude. Don't argue with me."

Jude nodded and then remembered he couldn't see her. "Alright," her voice small and hopeless. She'd called him, she must have wanted to come. She knew he'd come. As soon as he heard her, she knew he'd come.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

What little control Jude had left, broke the minute she saw Jamie. He half-carried her to the living room sofa, then bundled her in his arms as she cried out everything she was feeling. He didn't ask any questions. She couldn't have answered them anyway. The sobbing and the whimpering were all she could handle.

Once she was semi-calm, he made her drink two cups of honey tea. She needed the hydration and the honey would help soothe her throat. He also gave her a cool, wet towel for her irritated eyes. It was a familiar ritual, one Jamie hoped they'd left behind years ago.

She sat with her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to do this again," she said, her voice still raspy.

Jamie smoothed her hair. "You don't have to apologize to me. Not ever. I'm you're friend. It's what I do." He kissed her temple. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

Jude was silent and Jamie didn't push her. He knew she'd talk when she was ready. She finished her tea and held the towel to her eyes for a few minutes. The cool cloth felt wonderful against her hot skin, and it helped to bring back a little of the normalcy she was lacking. "Why do I always do this?"

Jamie continued to pet her. He was done being the heavy. He was done telling her she was wrong. If she still felt this way after three years, it was obvious to him whatever was going on between her and Quincy wasn't over. They were probably all kidding themselves to think it ever would be. "Do you love him?" It seemed like the obvious place to start.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "I know I don't want to, but..." She let the sentence trail off. She shut her eyes tight, as if she could block out what she was feeling by the strength of her will alone. "He always hurts me, Jamie. I can't risk it again."

None of which was a direct answer to the question, but Jamie saw the truth buried there. "What brought this on? What... what happened?"

As much as Jude wanted to be honest, she wasn't comfortable telling Jamie about the dreams. She'd never discussed sex with him, and now wasn't the time to start. She opted for the easier answer. "I was trying to write a song."

Jamie laughed. "Of course you were." She did her best to smile up at him and he hugged her tighter. "So he didn't do anything? Didn't say anything to you? Didn't make a pass at you?"

Jude thought about it and then shook her head. "Actually, he's been a perfect gentleman. But then, I haven't given him a chance to be anything less." She shifted, leaning away from him. "I have to deal with this. I know I have to deal with this on my own. This isn't his fault."

"The hell it's not!" Jamie said with anger. But he saw her wince and he dialed it back down. "Jude, just because he hasn't done anything to provoke you since he's been back, doesn't mean he isn't responsible."

"But it's my problem. I'm the one who can't let it go. I say I've let it go, but this proves I haven't. And I can't hold him responsible for that." Jude was mature enough to know that her feelings were her responsibility. And she'd created the problem as much as he had. All those years, she'd let herself believe. Fooled herself into thinking... "I can't change him, and I won't accept the way he treats me, so I have to walk away from him. If I don't, then I'm to blame."

They reverted back to silence for a few minutes. Then Jamie said, "You're better when he isn't here. We can fire him. I can fire him." Jude started to protest, but Jamie stopped her. "Jude, if Sadie saw you like this, do you really think she'd want to keep him around? I know the baby things important to her, but she wouldn't want you going through this again. It killed all of us to watch you go through it the first time."

"You can't tell her, Jamie." It was Jude's turn to stop his protest. "I'm serious. I don't want her to know about this. It's a momentary laps and I'll get over it. I won't let my past interfere with her future. I won't. If you say anything to her, or to Kwest, I'll deny it. I swear I will."

Jamie roughly ran his hand through his hair. Stubborn. She was so _god damned_ stubborn when it came to Sadie. He'd love to give her an ultimatum too. Something along the lines of, he'd keep quiet unless it happened again, and then he was going to tell Sadie. But all that would do was push her to not call him if it did happen again, and he couldn't risk her going through it alone. "We'll do it your way, but I want to go on record as saying I don't think it's a good idea. Sadie deserves to know the truth."

_More secrets_, Jude thought. Her life was full of them. "Thank you, Jamie." She settled back against him. She wanted to be strong, but she needed him. "Tell me something new. Talk to me about anything but this."

Jamie pulled back a little to look down at her. "You sure?" Jude nodded. Jamie shrugged and pulled her to him again. "Well, there was this idea I had about the up-coming album releases."

"Yes," Jude said. "I want to hear about it." Her entire weekend had been about Tommy and she didn't want to think about him anymore.

Jamie knew she was forcing a smile, but he let it go. "You mentioned you wanted to get Distrust a gig at the Vinyl Palace. And I thought instead of having three separate release parties, why not have one big party at the Vinyl Palace for all of them."

Jude smile turned genuine. "My god, Jamie, that's a fantastic idea!"

"I thought so," he said with pride in his voice. "We'll book the club for an entire night. It's big enough to hold the reporters and the industry people and whoever else the bands want to invite. They can each play three or four songs off their new albums, and the rest of the night we'll play their stuff, and maybe mix in some single releases for a couple other artists. We could make it a blow-out EastPhy event."

"Distrust is in," Jude assured him. "I don't even have to check with them. Diana and Andy flipped when I mentioned a gig at the Vinyl. This will floor them."

Jamie smiled, basking in Jude's approval. "I'll mention it to Kwest on Monday. If he's good with it, maybe we'll have Sadie plan it."

"Yes, Sadie planning the event is definitely the way to go." Jude knew her sister was perfect for the job. With her running it, it _would_ be an event.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jamie stayed with Jude Sunday night. They didn't talk about Tommy again, but Jamie's presence was enough to calm Jude. She was still a bit uneasy, but she was better. She knew she need to stay away from Tommy until she decided how to handle him. Her feelings were too mixed up to make a rational decision. And a bad decision would only made matters worse. At some point during the weekend she'd started thinking of him as Tommy again, not Quincy, and that rattled her a bit too.

At the Monday Morning Staff Meeting, she purposely sat as far away from him as she could. He'd saved her a seat, and gave her a funny look when she sat on the other side of the table, but Jude needed the distance. She didn't want a repeat of the note passing incident, not because it wasn't fun, but she just couldn't deal with him being cute at the moment. She made sure to limit her eye contact too. He probably thought she was crazy, but she couldn't help it.

The meeting was short and sweet, and without a hidden agenda, which was a nice change over the week before. Jamie asked the producers to stay behind, so he could talk to them about the idea he'd told Jude about on Sunday. The other two artists involved belonged to Kwest, so he needed to be there, and Jamie thought Quincy should stay so he could get a better idea about how decisions were made at the company. Jamie laid out his plan and Kwest was quick to give his approval. He said he'd run it past his artists and get back to him later in the day.

They were getting ready to leave, Jude wanting to run from the room before Tommy could talk to her, when he said, "I have a question."

"Question?" Jamie asked, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. He wasn't sure how to act around Quincy anymore. If him and Jude did end up becoming a thing again, Jamie didn't want to be an ass about it. He was determined to take his cues from Jude, but she was so confused, she wasn't any help.

"Ah, just one actually. I haven't brought it up until now, but well, I was wondering." Tommy looked at the other three people in the room, a little nervous and he wasn't sure why. "Where's Paegan?" Jude burst out laughing, Jamie groaned, and Kwest raised his eyes to the ceiling, ignoring them all. "What?" Tommy asked, finding their reactions to the simple question very unsettling.

Jude was doing her best to get her laughter under control. The unexpected question threw her for a loop. Although, she should have seen it coming. They all should have. Technically, she was the other owner and should be the one to answer, but she waved her hand in Jamie's direction, giving him the floor. Jamie scowled at her. "Thanks a lot," he mumbled. He focused back on Quincy. "Paegan is on sabbatical."

Jude snorted again. Tommy stared at her for a minute, but she wouldn't meet his eyes. What was so funny about a sabbatical? He turned his attention back to Andrews. "I remember reading in the trades that he was working on his next album. It was getting a lot of press because he hadn't released anything in years. Then, nothing happened. Did he get writers block or something? Is that why he's gone?"

Jamie looked at Jude again, leaving the decision up to her. She bit her bottom lip, stole a quick glance at Tommy, then nodded. Jamie slumped back in his chair, obviously not happy. Kwest looked between the two of them, waiting for something to happen. Tommy wasn't sure why no one was answering him, and he was getting more agitated.

Finally, Kwest had enough. Jude had given her approval, and if Jamie wasn't going to say something, he was. He slapped his hand on the conference table. "For the love of god! I'll tell him." He sighed loudly. "What I forgot to mention when I offered you the job, and I probably should have because you had the right to know before you accepted the position, is that you are working for a legitimate freak." Jamie started to protest, but Kwest's voice carried over him. "An grade A, bonified loon of the first order. What Jamie meant to say was that Paegan is on a forced vacation because we can't get a damn thing done when he's in the building!"

"But that information doesn't leave this room!" Jamie quickly, and loudly, added.

"No, it doesn't." If Kwest thought Tommy would say anything, he wouldn't have told him the truth. Jamie had to have more faith in the guy. Jude seemed to think he could handle it. Hell, Tommy was part of the team now. Kwest took a deep breath and relaxed in his seat. "The guy's a flat-out freak, T. I mean, he's an amazing musician, and the basis of how EastPhy is run is all him, but Jamie, Jude and I were constantly covering his ass. One time, literally. Jamie came into work and found him meditating in the lobby naked. Paegan said it helped clear the chakras. Thank god Jamie was early and there were no one else around. And Paegan was still living in the storage unit. He'd show up at the house needing to use the shower. Which is sorta weird, but it was fine. He's Paegan and you learn to accept it. I mean, the guy's a legend; you put up with a lot. But then he started with his experiments, and you've already had personal experience with the type of artists he was signing, and we had enough. We couldn't afford to keep him around, so we started suggesting, very covertly, that he take a vacation."

At this point, Jude took over. "You know how he's into Eastern religions. Well, I found out that he'd picked it up while traveling on his tours. But he'd never... immersed himself in the culture. So we suggested he travel more extensively. Go to China and Tibet and anywhere else he could find a monk or a priest who was willing to teach him. It took a while, but we did it gently so it came off looking like his idea when he decided to take a year or so off to go on sabbatical. He's been gone for... seven months now?" She looked at Jamie for confirmation.

"Six months, twenty-three days. Yes, I'm counting." Jamie sighed. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Jude's part owner anyway, so he gave her power of attorney for the business, and the two of us run things. He did start a new album, but then he kept getting side tracked with all his other projects. Jude thinks most of the crazy stuff he did was due to writers block, and we're hoping when he gets back, it'll be gone, he'll start work on the album again, and things will settle down. If not, we'll need to find a new way to handle it all, because... it was bad."

Tommy knew it took a lot for Andrews to admit that. He sat back in his chair, thinking about what he was now a part of. It was insane, but it wasn't the craziest situation he'd ever found himself in. "So the press thinks..."

"He's on sabbatical," the three answered together.

Tommy laughed, which caused Jude to start laughing again too. Jamie sneered at both of them, then gave up because the entire situation _was_ ridiculous. "None of this is common knowledge. Most other executives don't want to deal with Jude or I because of our age. They don't think we know what we're doing. The artists keep getting younger and younger, but they expect someone older to be in charge. We let them think Paegan is holding our hand, and it works. But if they found out two twenty-one year olds were making all the business decisions, we'd have problems. Krause especially would make us look like fools." He narrowed his eyes, his words clipped when he spoke. "We've let you in on a big secret, and I hope like hell that wasn't a mistake."

Tommy sobered rather quickly, the weight of what they'd told him falling soundly on his shoulders. Andrews could say him and Jude ran things, but the truth was he was in charge. And reluctantly, Tommy had to admit, he was doing a damn good job. Andrews didn't know everything about the music business, and he didn't try to act like he did. Instead he drew from the expertise of his other executives to make his decisions. And from what Tommy had seen, EastPhy had a good executive team in place. But if the music community found out the truth, it wouldn't be pretty. Vendors, distributors, concert hall promoters, they'd all question Andrews' judgement and his ability to run the company. It was fine to have young producers, the artists didn't mind, but the business end... People expected someone older. Tommy locked eyes with Andrews. "I know you don't trust me. Over the years, I haven't given you a lot of reasons to. But music is my religion, and you treat it with the respect it deserves. You can't say that about a lot of studios. I'm not going to ruin what you've built here by running my mouth off."

Jamie continued to stare and Tommy could almost read what was going through the younger man's mind. It went something like 'you hurt this studio, you hurt Jude and I'll kill you for that.' Tommy's silent response being 'no matter what you think of me, you must know I would never take this away from her.' Finally, Jamie nodded curtly. They'd come to a gentlemen's agreement of sorts, and both expected the other to adhere to it.

Jude knew Jamie was trusting Tommy on her say-so. Something happened on Sunday besides her breakdown. Jamie had sorta gave in. She wasn't sure why, but she was happy about it. Tommy confused the hell out of her, but him and Jamie not fighting all the time was one less thing she had to worry about. "Okay," she stretched out the word. "Now that we have that settled, can I get to work?"

"Yeah, everybody can go." Jamie checked his watch. "But, Jude, don't go too far. We have a meeting in ten minutes with Design about Distrust's album cover."

She picked up her notepad and her pen. "Actually, if you have a minute, I want to talk to you about it before we meet with them." Staying with Jamie would let her avoid Tommy a little while longer.

Kwest and Tommy left the room. Kwest knew T had more questions about Paegan, but they'd talk about it at home, away from prior eyes and ears.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy knew Jude was avoiding him again. He'd really screwed up on Friday pushing her about her new album. When he told Kwest about their conversation in the booth, his best friend had actually cringed, then went on to tell him how stubborn Jude was being about the whole thing. Any mention of a third album sent her on the war path. Tommy figured it would be a couple more days, maybe a week, before she was talking to him again. He thought her attitude was strange, and he'd love to question her about it, but it seemed to be another subject he wasn't allowed to touch. At this rate, he might as well start a list.

Around noon, he walked to her office, hoping to corner her long enough to apologize, but when he got there, what he saw and heard completely blew the thought of an apology right out of his head. Karma was sitting in Jude's office, and they were laughing together.

"And then, I said, if you don't like working my studio time around my baby, then maybe it's time you release me from my contract."

Jude clapped her hands in appreciation. "Krause must have hit the roof!"

Karma's arm dangled off the back of her chair. "Oh, he was pissed, but he didn't say a word. He turned right around and walked out." She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "But what can he say? He knows the split-second he drops me, I'm coming here. He keeps stealing your producers, but you keep taking his artists, and one of those is easier to replace." Tommy knocked on the door. Jude only glanced at him for a second before looking away. Karma swung her head around and smiled. "Tom Quincy. Spied told me you were back. I didn't believe him."

Tommy walked in, not waiting for an invitation. "Well, here I am. How ya doing, Karma?"

Karma didn't bother getting up. There would be no hugs exchanged. It's not like they liked each other before. "Doing good. Well, as good as I can be working at G-Major."

Jude shuffled some papers on her desk. "Did you need something, Tommm?" Lord, she'd almost called him Tommy. He'd definitely know something was up if she did that.

He arched his eyebrow, but didn't comment on her strange behavior. "Do you have a minute?"

"Actually, no. Karma and I were getting ready to leave." Jude plastered on a fake smile. "Lunch plans."

Karma stood, missing the undercurrent in the office since Tommy walked in, or choosing to ignore it. "Take your time, Jude. I want to say goodbye to Spied anyway. Nice to see you, Quincy." Then she was gone, leaving Tommy and Jude alone.

_Traitor_, Jude thought. "I guess I do have a minute. What do you need?" _Please leave, please leave, please leave. _

Her eyes would only stay on him a second before darting away. She was still sitting, so Tommy leaned over her desk, putting his body in her personal space, forcing her to look at him. "I wanted to apologize about Friday."

Jude backed-up her chair. _Too close_. _Way too close._ "Friday?" Even she heard her voice crack over the word. Inside she cringed. _Real smooth, Harrison_.

Tommy shot her another strange look, not sure what was wrong with her. "I didn't mean to push you. About the new album. I'm sorry."

Jude cleared her throat. "Apology accepted." She suddenly stood, rounded the desk like the devil was on her tail and tried to move passed him. "If you'll excuse me -"

But she wasn't fast enough. Tommy grabbed her arm and she jumped. He immediately released her. "What is wrong with you today?" It came out harsher than he intended.

Anger Jude could handle. It was the nice guy she was having trouble being around at the moment. "Nothing," she snapped. "I'm busy, that's all. I accepted your apology. What more do you want?"

She wasn't making any sense, and Tommy couldn't piece together what was going on. He grabbed her arm again, and this time he didn't let go. "I don't know what I did, but if you tell me, maybe I can fix it."

Jude stared at his hand. She was wearing a short sleeved dress shirt and his fingers were wrapped around her arm, but the way he'd caught her, his thumb was pressed against the soft skin on the inside of her elbow. It shouldn't be a problem, but that happened to be a very sensitive part of Jude's body, and as she moved to pull her arm away, and he moved to keep her where she was, his thumb ran back and forth over her pulse point. A shiver ran up her spine. "Let me go," she said quietly.

Tommy felt the shiver, and it was as if time stopped. This time he purposely ran his thumb back across her skin, but slower and gentler. Jude blushed, the same blush he'd seen on Friday. Suddenly, what happened in the studio took on a whole new meaning. He took a step closer and pulled her toward him, the side of her body pressed against his front. Jude suck in her breath, but she still refused to look at him. Tommy thought it was cute as hell. It was the first time she'd even hinted that she was interested in him. She might yell at him later, but he refused to waste the opportunity she was giving him now. He lowered his head so he could whisper in her ear. "It would feel even better if it was my tongue and not my thumb."

Jude closed her eyes and forced a swallow. Her bottom lip was quivering. All the muscles in her body were involuntarily clenching and unclenching. She could feel the pulse under his thumb jumping. And images from her dreams were randomly flashing through her brain. There was nothing she could do to stop any of it. God, she _couldn't_ handle this. She knew she _couldn't_ handle this. She should have walked out with Karma. She wasn't ready to be alone with him. She was still confused, and she knew he'd break her heart again, but if he bent his head and licked her skin, she was going to slam her door closed and have sex with him in her office. She just knew it.

--- TBC

_I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra_

You hate me for cutting it off there, don't ya?

102 reviews! I'm so excited! I feel blessed with the wonderful response this story is generating. So blessed, I'm going to offer a little spoilage.

In the coming chapters, you will see: catching up with Karma, a meeting between Tommy and George Krause, Tommy spending the night at Jude's house, Dylan (hope you haven't forgotten about him) who you might like or hate, More Darius/Portia tension, Tommy in Jude's private studio, and a HUGE Jommy fight. Not saying when all of this will happen, but it's coming. Enjoy!


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Nothing Else Matters**

Jude's voice was a shaky whisper. "Don't do this."

"Look at me, Jude." Tommy nudged her earlobe with the tip of his nose and heard her gasp. They were on the edge, and he knew he could push her over, but he wanted her to fall with him willingly. "Look at me," he pleaded this time. He needed to see her eyes, desperately needed to see her eyes, to see the desire in them, so he knew they were together in this.

Jude gave a slight shake of her head. She couldn't look. His eyes boring into hers would be worse then his touch on her skin. Purely physical attraction was one thing, but if she saw the emotion attached to it, it would throw open the door to the heartache she knew would follow. He was Tommy, and no matter how many promises he made, in the end he would hurt her. "Leave me alone," she begged. "Please."

But Tommy couldn't leave her alone. He could never leave her alone. "Jude, I lov-"

"You ready?" The sound of Karma's voice echoed through the office.

Jude's head snapped up, a guilty expression on her face at having been caught in a semi-embarrassing situation. "Yeah," she said, but she heard her own uncertainty. She tried again with more conviction. "Yes, I'm ready to go." She still couldn't look at Tommy as she extracted her arm from his grasp. She knew he wouldn't fight her now, not with Karma standing in the room.

Tommy let her go, but he slowly ran his thumb across her pulse point one more time. Jude chanced a sideways glance in his direction and saw that damn special smile he saved just for her. She could have gleefully killed him right then. "We'll finish this later," he said in a husky voice before releasing her completely.

"The hell we will," she mumbled, but Tommy heard her and his laughter followed him as he walked out.

Karma watched him go, then she turned to Jude, the tip of her tongue touching the top of her lip. "Sorry I interrupt. I didn't know the two of you were at it again. Spied didn't tell me."

"We are _not_ at it again!" Jude grumbled harshly. She shivered once more, this time from the knowledge that she'd been one step away from doing something incredibly stupid. Like she always did when Tommy was involved. "I owe you. Whatever you want, my first born child, my Gibson acoustic, my car. Name it, it's yours." Karma smirked, but didn't say a word. Jude grabbed her purse and the two women left the building. Jude knew Tommy was watching her from across the lobby, but she refused to acknowledge him.

Jude dropped her keys the first time she tried to start the car, mentally kicking herself for letting Tommy affect her. Karma didn't notice. "Thank you for doing this," Karma said as she finished buckling her seatbelt. "I know he wants a guitar, but I'm not sure which one, and if I ask too many questions, he'll get suspicious."

Jude waved her off, happy the conversation didn't start with Karma questioning her about what she'd walked in on. "It's not a problem. He told me exactly what he wants. We'll be in and out of the music store in ten minutes." _And then I'll have to go back to work and face him._

"And it's okay if I stash it at your house? Another two weeks and he'll start snooping for gifts." Spied's birthday was coming up, and there was a guitar he'd been eyeing, a collectors edition Martin acoustic. It was over three thousand dollars and he couldn't justify spending the money on a guitar he had no intention of playing, so he didn't buy it. But he wouldn't shut up about it either. Karma wanted to get it for him as a surprise, but she needed Jude to come with her so she'd purchase the right one.

"I know who you're dealing with. He is the worst snoop in the world when it comes to presents. We're good." Jude drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, nervous energy still swirling around inside her. "I could have picked it up on my own and you could have paid me later. You didn't have to come." But Jude was sooo glad she did. If Karma hadn't been there, god only knows how far things would have gone.

Karma sat up a little straighter in the seat. "No, I wanted to come. He's my husband and it's his birthday present. I want to buy it for him." Asking Jude to pick up the guitar on her own was something the old Karma would have done. Like she couldn't be bothered or wasn't interested enough to buy the gift herself.

Karma knew early on Spied's friends saw her as a self-centered diva, a role she'd cultivated her first year at G-Major. And she knew they were suspicious of their marriage, especially since the wedding had been a publicity stunt gone wrong. But the truth was Karma loved Spied, loved him dearly. And being married to him was the second best thing that ever happened to her. Their son being the first. So in the past three years she'd done her damnedest to change their minds about her. At first, it had been difficult. Her father ran a multi-national corporation. He raised her to believe that winning was the ultimate goal. Sacrifices had to be made along the way, and people wouldn't always like her, but that was fine. That was the cost of winning. It had taken a concerted effort on her part to shift that mindset. She would always be a bitch, even she knew that, but since Kurt was born, she realized she didn't have the time, energy or interest to go out of her way to prove it anymore. Like most parents, having a baby had changed her priorities.

And in typical Jude fashion, something that at one time would have annoyed Karma to death, the younger women accepted the change with minimal resistance. Jude was fairly easy to please. As long as Spied was happy, Jude was happy. Karma knew Jude put up with her because Spied asked her to, but as she changed, Jude relaxed and they developed a tentative friendship. After Kurt was born, they bonded over their love for the baby. Karma knew when Kurt was with Jude, he was as loved and protected as he was with her or Spied. Jude would anything for Kurt.

Looking back on it, Karma realized her mistake. She'd put herself at odds with the Jude from the beginning, and there was no need to. She'd made an enemy when she could have made a friend. But she expected everyone to think like she did, and the idea that Jude might have celebrated Karma's successes with her instead of being jealous of them, never occurred to her. To Karma, everyone was competition. Oh, she still wanted to be the best, but it wasn't an all-consuming need anymore and she didn't need to knock anyone else down to pick herself up. Maybe it was motherhood, maybe it was maturity. All Karma knew was that she'd changed, and she liked the new person she'd become.

Karma hadn't said a word for three point two miles. Jude clocked her. She was nervous enough a it was, and the silence of the car was nipping at her. She glanced at the brunette riding shotgun. "Aren't you going to ask?" Karma kept her face impassive and shook her head. Jude's agitation with her own actions came through in her voice. "Well, you're the only one who's not interested."

Karma sighed. Okay, so they _were_ going to talk about it. She would have been fine letting it go. She shifted her body as much as the seat belt would allow and turned to Jude. "Look, honey. I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't care what you do or don't do. I have a life of my own, and it's pretty full. Your personal life doesn't concern me."

Jude laughed and some of her tension slipped away. The one thing she really did like about Karma, the woman was direct. "You should pass that philosophy along to everyone else I know."

"I've told you before, they're in your personal business because you let them. Tell them all to back the fuck off." Karma never understood why Jude let others influence what she did. "Your decisions should be your own."

It sounded good in theory, but Jude wasn't sure she was built like that. These were the people she leaned on for support. Going to them only when she needed something seemed selfish. "Sadie's my sister and Jamie's been in my life forever. They know me. I value their opinions."

Karma pointed her finger at Jude. "If you gave Sadie unsolicited advice about her marriage, she'd bite your head off. And as for Jamie, when did he become Dr. Phil? The last girlfriend he had was Catherine. They went on four dates in six weeks. The longest any girl has ever stuck with him was Patsy, and not to speak ill of the dead, but... it was Patsy." Karma clicked her tongue again. "And you should never, ever listen to Spied. Or Kwest, for that matter. Everyone thinks of you as a little sister who should be protected at all times."

All disturbingly true, but Jude had other people she listened to. Impartial people. "Well, I've been talking to Diana too, and she thinks - "

"Advice from the sex addict?!" Karma shook her head in obvious disgust. "Oh, that's rich. What was her advice? Jump him now and worry about the rest later?"

Jude gripped the steering wheel tight. Direct was good, but sometimes Karma still came off like she understood the world better than the rest of them, which was annoying. "Since you know everything, what's your advice?"

"I just told you. _Stop listening to advice_." Karma rolled her eyes. "Jude, in any relationship, there are only two people who really know what's going on, and they're the two involved. Everyone else is just pressing their noses up against the glass. You want Quincy, screw what everyone else thinks, go after him. You don't want him, that's fine too. It's your life. You have to live with your decisions. Not me, or Spied, or Sadie, or Kwest, or Diana, or Jamie. It's all you. Stop trying to make everyone else happy and do what makes you happy."

"They're only trying to protect me," Jude said defensively.

"From who? Quincy?" Karma had to laugh. Tom Quincy would throw himself in front of a train if Jude asked him to. Karma always thought that to be true, and from what she'd seen earlier, it didn't look like much had changed. "Jude, do you want protection from Quincy? 'Cause it didn't look like it when I walked in."

Jude swallowed hard. She knew what Tommy was about to say when Karma interrupted them, and it frightened her. Whether from excitement or shear terror, she wasn't sure. "That was nothing."

"That was hot and heavy chemistry," Karma corrected. She saw the confusion on Jude's face, and she felt sorry for her. She wasn't judging Jude, she really wasn't. "I already told you, I don't care either way, but you are making yourself crazy worrying about everyone else's opinion. It's. Your. Life."

Jude made plenty of personal decisions without consulting the world first, but this one... this one was more difficult. "Okay, putting everyone else's opinion aside. What if I don't know what I want?" Karma snorted, and Jude realized 'want' might not have been the best word to use. After the incident in her office, wanting Tommy wasn't the issue. "The chemistry aside, I don't know if I can afford to let him back in. You weren't around for all of it, Karma. You don't know how many times he hurt me and I forgave him, and then he turned around and hurt me again."

Karma knew more than Jude thought. She'd listened to Jamie and Spied talk about Jude's past for weeks. Ever since Quincy was hired, the two had been gossiping like old woman. But like she'd just told Jude, they were only looking in. They couldn't know everything that had happened. And they certainly couldn't know what had been going on in Quincy's mind through it all. Maybe because of her own rocky start within the tight circle, she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. "No one's perfect, and in a relationship, I think the best you can hope for is to find someone's whose non-perfection you're willing to put up with.

For Karma, the statement was extremely vague, but it intrigued Jude. "Explain, please."

Karma took a minute to gather her thoughts before answering. "You know my dad can't stand Spied. He's warmed up to him, but the idea that his little girl would chose a guy like that to marry... he couldn't handle it at first. And Spied can be such a goofball when my parents are around. Hell, when anyone's around. And I can understand why my dad was against him, but he doesn't know Spied like I do. Spied's perfect. Not because I think he's a perfect person, far from it, but he's perfect for me." Karma smirked. "And if Spied had worried about what any of you thought, we never would have gotten together. He saw something in me that none of you saw. I like it think I'm perfect for him too."

They pulled into the music store parking lot. Jude cut the engine, but didn't make a move to exit the car. "I see - saw - more in Tommy than anyone else. At least I think I did. I'm not sure anymore."

Karma laid her hand on Jude's knee and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I don't know what happened between you and Quincy. I don't think anybody really knows, besides the two of you. Personally, how you ever put up with his passive-aggressive bullshit is beyond me, but I don't know if that was him or the situation. Deep down, I think you know the difference. I think you can sort through it and figure it out. But you have to trust your instincts. And when you do, you'll know whether he's worth the risk. But, Jude, don't let other people make that decision for you. If you do, you'll end up miserable."

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Jude spent the rest of the day in her studio. As she worked, she thought about the conversation with Karma. Karma said she wasn't giving advice, but for Jude it was probably some of the best advice she'd heard. Right up there with Diana's closure idea. There was something about it that rang true. Trust her own instincts. Do what she wanted to do. Stop worrying about everyone else. It sounded simple, but it wasn't. Physically she wanted Tommy, but they had other problems - so many other problems - and sex wouldn't solve them.

Jude pushed aside everyone else's opinion of Tommy and the situation, and focused on her instincts. After shuffling and reshuffling through all the problems, she was able to boil it down to one defining question: Did she trust him? Unfortunately, the answer was a resounding 'No'. She didn't trust Tommy. No one was perfect and she could forgive mistakes. In every relationship people made mistakes; she knew she'd made her share. But for her to trust someone, she had to believe their mistakes came out of love. Like Jamie not wanting to see her hurt again. Or Sadie wanting to see her happy. They might not go about in a way Jude appreciated, but they loved her and wanted the best for her. Tommy could say he loved her, but Jude didn't feel that way.

She didn't expect his world to revolve around her, but she did expect a little consideration. The things Tommy did weren't about Jude. They were all about him. His secrets, his fears, they were more important to him than she was. Or at least, that's how he made her feel. Yes, the situations they'd been involved in weren't simple, but he made unilateral decisions on how they should be handled without ever once asking for her opinion. How could she trust someone who did that? With Tommy, she'd always be waiting for him to pull the rug out from under her, leaving her with nothing. It wasn't enough, not for her, not anymore.

Did she still love him? Or maybe the better question was, had she ever really loved him? Her all-consuming teenage crush aside, she wasn't sure. She'd seen glimpses of a man she knew she could love, but Tommy kept that man buried deep inside, and Jude didn't have the strength to constantly fight to pull him out. Those glimpses... they were everything she could ever want, but he could never open up and just be. He was always checking himself, making sure he didn't reveal too much. And that hurt too, because it was a sign he didn't trust her either.

Jude carefully weighed all the facts and feelings, but the answer kept coming out the same. She wasn't a naive teenager anymore and, sadly, blind faith in him wasn't an option. Tommy asked her once to believe in him, and part of her wished she still could, but her belief, her trust, was tarnished. He'd done that, but she was the one who had to live with it.

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Jude knew Tommy was scheduled to work until seven, so she kept herself locked in her studio until eight, hoping he'd be gone by then. Of course, she should have known better. He was standing right outside the booth when she opened the door. He pushed her back in, shutting the door behind him. "We need to talk."

Jude wasn't going to dodge him. If it had to happen now, it had to happen now. There was no reason to wait; she knew what she wanted to say. She platted her feet and met his stare dead on. "You're right. Let's talk." As he moved towards her, his smile widened, but Jude put up her hand to stop him. "Talk, Quincy. Involving words. You broke my heart, and I don't trust you."

It was such an honest statement, delivered without warning, and it hurt more than Tommy thought possible. He took an uncertain step back. "Jude, I'm sorry. You know I'm sorry. But it was three years ago and I've changed since then. I just want a chance to prove it to you." His smile slowly came back. "And I know you want me."

"God, Tommy, is that all you care about!" Jude pressed her hand to her temple. Sex was nothing. Sex was easy. "If you think I'm going to deny it, you're wrong. Physically, I do want you. It's probably all those years of pent up sexual tension between the two of us, but we're not talking about sex!" She waited for the pain she always felt when she touched those old emotions inside of her, but it didn't come. The fact that she wasn't an emotional mess gave her strength. "Saying your sorry means _nothing_ to me. You've been apologizing since we met, after repeatedly hurting me, lying to me and leaving me. You have to do better than I'm sorry."

"I'm trying to do better!" She struggled, but Tommy tightly grasped both her hands in his, his eyes pleading with her to understand. "I know how much I hurt you. Those things I did... At the time I felt like I had no choice. There were all these obstacles between us, but I'm ready now, Jude. I'm ready to be who you need me to be. But I can't show you I've changed if you won't give me a chance."

"I don't trust you. And I can't be with someone I don't trust." She stepped back, and he let her go. She needed to put distance between them, with her actions and her words. "You did this, not me. You made promises you didn't keep. You got close, then you pulled away. You asked me to believe in you, and then you threw it away like it was nothing. What I want never seemed to matter. It's always been about you."

Tommy could see how she felt that way. She was the one fully prepared to move forward and he was always holding her back. But his concerns, his worries, they were based on his history. "My life's been complicated. Angie, Portia, Darius. Maybe it looked like I wasn't thinking about you, but that's not true. I made mistakes in how I went about it, but I was always trying to protect you. You have to see that. You know what I've been through."

"No, I don't. You never took the time to explain it to me." Jude felt the tears forming, but she blinked them back. "I know what Portia did because I was there when she broke. You never told me about Angie, or your time with her. Kwest told me a few things, he even showed me her picture. I know bits and pieces of your history with Darius, but not because you told me. I picked things up over the years. You never let me in, Tommy. You only told me things when you were backed into a corner and couldn't find a way out. You always kept me at a distance. You never let me get close."

She was inside his heart. How much closer did she need to be? Tommy looked into her eyes, held her gaze with his own while he told her the truth. "You're closer to me than anyone's ever been."

Jude knew he meant it, but in that moment it wasn't much comfort. "Well, that's just sad, isn't it? What I know about you wouldn't fill a piece of paper." She turned her back on him and wrapped her arms tight around her body. "Let's review the personal facts I know about Tom Quincy. The one's _you've_ told me. Your last name is Dutois, but you never told me why you changed it. You mentioned Nova Scotia, so I think that's where your from, but I couldn't prove it. You were in juvenile hall, but you never explained why. Your obsessed with your car. Your favorite food is tourtiere which your grandmother used to make. I think that about covers it."

"You forgot two things, the two most important things. I love music and I love you." Tommy walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I love you, Jude. I always have. Nothing else matters to me."

The weight of his hands felt good, solid. But everything else around her was smoke. Jude wasn't going to argue with him about what he said. They were just words, and for her, the words didn't mean much if the actions didn't back them up. "It matters to me, Tommy. You can't change the past and you can't act like it didn't happen. We _are_ our past."

"Why can't we be our future instead?" He slowly turned her around to face him again. "Jude, I said I love you."

"I heard you." She drifted to the other side of the room, leaving him standing alone. "I know you think that changes things, but it doesn't. It doesn't fix the problem." She wiped a tear from her cheek and studied the moisture she saw on the tip of her finger. She held out her hand to him. "Do you see this? This is one of million tears I've cried over you. Do you think saying you love me makes them all go away? They're beautiful words, but they're not magic."

He took her hand and kissed her fingertip. Jude watched him, and her heart ached over the gesture. One of those small glimpses she so rarely saw. Tommy entwined his hand with hers. "I just want a chance. Give me a chance."

Jude pulled away from him once again. "You had your chance, several of them. You wasted them all." As usual, he wasn't listening to her. She steeled her voice as she tried once more. "Tommy, I don't trust you! Do you understand that? You've made it impossible for me to give you what you want. I can't explain it any better than that."

He heard her frustration, her anger, her resolve. He knew she was slipping away. Grasping for a lifeline, Tommy gestured towards the door of the studio. "But in your office -"

"That was sex," Jude said wearily as she hung her head and sighed. "I'm sure it's like music - something we'd be great at. But at some point you have to walk out of the studio, walk out of the bedroom. Be honest, Tommy. Did sex ever solve any of your problems?" His eyes slid away from her and Jude knew she'd hit her mark. She squared her shoulders. "I told you I wanted us to be friendly, and I meant it. But that's all I want. If I gave you the wrong impression earlier, I apologize."

Tommy always thought when he told her he loved her, she would react differently. The first time in the restaurant she pulled away, and she was doing it again. It was all his fault; he knew it. Every chance she'd given him, he'd screwed up. Now she was done giving him chances. He couldn't blame her, but he felt like he was losing everything that was ever important to him. "I'm not going to stop, Jude. I'm not going to stop until you give me a chance."

Jude was done. He refused to hear her. Once again, what she wanted, what she needed, didn't matter. She gathered her purse and her messenger bag, then opened the studio door. "You haven't changed, Quincy." She walked out of the studio, out of the building, and to Tommy, out of his life.

--- TBC

_Nothing Else Matters - Metallica_

You knew Karma was going to interrupt them, didn't you? That was not the HUGE Jommy fight I promised. That will come later. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! I feel loved.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Sweet Euphoria**

For Jude, the rest of the week flew by. Now that she'd made a decision, all the tension and stress she'd been feeling simply evaporated. She was happy, giddy even. She didn't have to force a smile or pretend to be interested in what was going on around her while her mind churned over her problems. Sadie, Jamie, even Spied, they all questioned her new attitude, but Jude didn't feel the need to explain. She told them not to worry and dropped the subject. Her life, her decisions. Kwest was the only one who eyed her warily. She figured he'd gotten the four-one-one from Quincy, but she didn't let it bother her either. Nothing was going to bother her.

Tommy tried to corner her a few times, mostly in her office where it was private, but she walked out. He called; she didn't answer. He left messages; she deleted them. She knew he wanted to talk, wanted to persuade her, but Jude had said everything she wanted to say. In her opinion, there was nothing left to talk about. Besides, when she did talk, he didn't listen, so what was the point?

Jude immersed herself in EastPhy business and jumped at the chance to go with Sadie to a meeting with the manager of the Vinyl Palace. Sadie was hard at work on the album release party, trying to secure the location. When she'd talked to the manager on the phone, he'd been reluctant to close the club for a private party; Thursday nights were big money for him. So Sadie thought she'd have a better chance persuading him face-to-face, and another Harrison sister tagging along, especially the famous one, couldn't hurt.

Henry Chambers was thirty-one, blond, green eyed, attractive in a clean-cut suit sort of way. He flirted with Jude outrageously through the entire meeting, and when he asked her out on a date, she said yes. They were having lunch Saturday afternoon. He also agreed to let EastPhy have the club for the party. Sadie knew taking her sister was a good idea.

Distrust came in on Friday for their album cover photo session, a location shot at Toronto Lake Park. Jude went with them to supervise, since the photographer was someone EastPhy had never used before, a referral from one of their regulars who was booked. His name was Jerrod Pierre. He was tall and muscular with long chocolate brown hair he kept in a ponytail while he worked.

When the group got back to the studio, Diana pulled Jude aside. "Did I hear right? Do you have a date with the photog tonight?"

Jude giggled - actually giggled. "What can I say? He's got a great butt." Diana's jaw dropped in shock and Jude smirked. "What? I'm not allowed to date?"

Diana was mystified. "Date all you want. I think you should go out more often. But this is so unlike you, Harry. Two dates in two days with guys you barely know. It's... out of character." Jude told the band the Vinyl Palace was locked in for the party, and then privately, she'd told Diana about her up-coming date with the manager. Harry rarely dated and never someone she'd met so casually, so Di was concerned.

"I know, but..." Jude looked around the lobby; there were too many people for her to talk. She motioned for Diana to follow her into her office. Once the door was closed, she said, "I told Quincy it wasn't going to happen, and I've never felt more relieved in my entire life. I'm free!" Jude danced and sang around the office. "I'm free! I'm free! I'm free, I'm free, I'm free!"

Her spirit was contagious and Diana had to laugh. Harry usually reserved this type of excitement for her music. "What has gotten into you?"

Jude continued to smile, a smile so bright it almost eclipsed the infamous Redmund smile. "After six years, I'm _finally_ free of him. Do you have any idea how _wonderful_ that is? He's not running around inside my head. I can do anything I want, and I don't care what he thinks. Matter of fact, I don't care what anyone thinks. It's my life. I can date, and have fun, and be me again. _Me_!" Jude sighed happily. "I missed me."

And it all clicked into place. Diana should have recognized it sooner. Euphoric post break-up backlash. The relationship might have been over years ago, but for Harry it had just ended. Thank god it didn't last long and she'd be back in her right mind soon. "You date whoever you want and you have fun, but don't do anything foolish. Or permanent. Promise me, no tattoos in the next couple of weeks."

Jude titled her head in confusion. "Huh?"

Diana waved her off. "Just... oh, never mind." Even if she told her, Harry wouldn't believe it. The euphoric never did. Di sat on the edge of the desk. "You avoid the paparazzi like the plague, so you decide to date a photographer. Makes perfect sense."

Jude shook her finger at her friend. "Don't poo-poo on my date." She wanted no negative energy around her. She was feeling too good for that. "It's not like he's going to bring his camera to the restaurant."

"And if he does?" Diana was a little concerned. He could be a part-time stalker-razzi for all Harry knew. He might bring his camera, document the whole damn date and sell it to the tabloids. Oh, the dreaded backlash. It made usually careful woman so reckless.

"Then I'll go home with the waiter, provided he's cute." Jude smiled sweetly. "Any other questions?"

Diana had several thousand, but she didn't ask them. "If he brings a camera, call me. I'll help you beat the crap out of him. But no going home with strange waiters." Other than locking Harry in a room or putting a leash on her until it passed, Di knew there was nothing she could do to stop her friend. Hopefully, she wouldn't do anything she'd regret. "So what else is going on?"

Jude hopped up beside her on the desk, sending the phone skidding back across the surface. She ignored it. "I want to have a party for the band."

Diana looked at her sideways. "Uh, aren't we doing that already?"

"Not the release party. I want something smaller. Just us." Jude swung her legs in front of her. "I was thinking at my house. The five of us. Or Pete and Lyndsey could bring dates too, if they want. I could cook and we could chill out. Next Saturday maybe, after classes are over, but before exams start."

A little tension breaker sounded good. And it would keep Jude off the streets for one night. Diana smiled as an idea occurred to her. Maybe two nights. "I like it. Let's do a girls night out on Friday too. And then Saturday, I'll come over early and help you set-up." _And I can keep an eye on you_, she thought.

Jude's eyes widened with excitement. "Girls night out! Oh, I love that idea. There's that new club in the warehouse district. Uhhhhh... The Factory! That's it. We'll go there!"

"The Factory, it is. You, me, Lyndsey. Do you want to invite Sadie?" Diana half-listened as Jude extended the attendee list to include Sadie and almost every other women who worked in the building. Harry was being way too chipper for Di's taste. Thank god she knew it wouldn't last. But the sooner the euphoria was over, the better.

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Tommy's week was horrible compared to Jude's. Diana might have called what he was experiencing the post break-up seventh ring of hell. Jude was avoiding him; wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't answer his phone calls. During dinner Wednesday night, Sadie went into immense detail about her meeting with the manager of the Vinyl Palace, and the date Jude had snagged. Courtesy of the office grapevine, he heard about her date with the photographer too. Needless to say, by Friday afternoon he was miserable.

"A club manager and photographer? Is she serious?" Tommy asked. Kwest made a noncommittal shrug as he sat opposite his best friend in the studio. Tommy raked his hand through his hair, which was a mess because he'd been doing it a lot lately. "I'd love to think she's going out with them to make me jealous, but..."

Kwest covered his laughter with a cough. "She _has_ gone out on dates before. You might not have been here to see it, but it did happen. I'll admit, the photographer is a surprise, but Chambers seems about right. He is in the music business."

"He runs a club, don't push it." Tommy rested his head on the back of the chair and stared at the ceiling. "I can't stand this, man! I know she's angry. She has every reason to be angry. I was a jackass. But she won't even give me a chance."

Monday night Kwest knew something had happened, but it wasn't until Wednesday after Sadie went to bed, that Tommy told him about the conversation in the studio. He felt bad for the guy, he did, but he'd warned him. "I wouldn't expect her to _give_ you anything. Has it occurred to you that you might have to _earn_ another chance?"

Tommy heard Jude's voice in his head - 'I don't trust you.' She was so firm about it He doubted there was anything he could do to change her mind. "Yeah, like that's going to be easy."

"Do you want easy, or do you want Jude?" Tommy smirked at the question. Kwest put more authority in his voice. "Easy are those half-wit pieces of eye-candy you used to have hanging all over you. The ones who wanted to be seen with Little Tommy Q. The ones you could have cared less about. This is Jude. She doesn't think you've changed. Maybe its time to quit telling her and start showing her instead." Tommy slowly raised his head and Kwest knew he'd finally gotten his attention. "You're gonna have to work for this girl, T. Serious work. For starters, don't do what your thinking about doing."

Tommy sat up straight. "I'm not thinking -"

Kwest cut him off. "I know you. You're thinking about calling some girl, going out with her, and making a damn fool of yourself, so you can get your picture on the front of tabloids where you know Jude will see it." He shook his head. "You wanna be an idiot just because she's got a date this weekend."

"Two dates," Tommy grumbled. "But the thought never crossed my mind." He slumped down in his chair and sulked. He hated being called out, especially when Kwest was right. It was exactly what he'd been thinking.

"Liar." Kwest chuckled. Tommy was too easy to read if you knew him well enough. "Have you changed or haven't you? You go out with someone else to annoy Jude, or worse, as a distraction, and you're going to regret it. Need I remind you of the Sadie incident?"

Tommy winced. For many reasons, he liked to forget the fact that he dated Sadie - Jude's sister and now Kwest's wife. He really had a way of putting his foot in it. "So you want me to sit back and watch her date every male on the planet, and... what? Do nothing?"

"That's a start." Kwest sighed. Two guys was not every male on the planet, but whatever. "You need a plan. Something better than just blurting out 'I'm sorry and I love you.' Get your shit together, man! You know what you did to hurt her. _Fix it_."

"I can't change what happened." Jude made that crystal clear. Tommy's past performance was not something she was going to let him forget.

"You can change the behavior that caused it." Kwest leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "T, you are not this dense. You know what she needs to see from you. Act like a grown-up. Open up to her. Don't run away. Deal with the situation. It's not going to happen overnight, but it's going to get you a hell of a lot closer to her than you are now." Tommy made a half-hearted gesture of agreement, and Kwest continued. "Have you told her about your dad?"

"No, and I'm not going to." Kwest started to protest, but Tommy stopped him. "She'll think I'm using him as a way to worm back in. She's too smart for that. I plan to tell her eventually, but not right now."

Kwest settled back in his chair and looked at his best friend with new found respect. "Damn, you're not as dumb as you look." Tommy punched his shoulder and Kwest laughed. "Okay, so you hold off on that, but you gotta give her something."

"I can't tell her about Karen until I tell her about dad, so that's out." Tommy considered his other options. "Actually there isn't much I can say until she knows about dad. Juvie, BoyzAttack, my name. It all stems from him. When I get around to telling her, it's gonna be a hell of a conversation."

"Tell her about Angie," Kwest suggested. "She's asked me about her in the past. She wants to know more, so tell her."

Tommy stared at him in disbelief. "You want me to casually work my dead ex into a conversation." Oh, he could see how that would play out. 'Jude, how's the recording going? And if you've got a minute I'd love to tell you about my relationship with Angie.' He sighed. "What else have you got?"

Kwest absently tapped his fingers on his knee as he thought. "She's serious about the trust thing, and it's not all your fault. Her dad cheated on her mom, Shay cheated on her, her mom left without any real explanation. And you already know how their getting along. Hell, every time a producer quits and goes to G-Major, Jude takes it personally. It's built up. She has as many trust issues as you do, but that might be your way in. You of all people should be able to relate."

Another very good point. Tommy trusted few people; Jude and Kwest being two of them. And slowly, he was working Sadie into the mix. But he'd been burned before, and it made him reluctant. If he was in Jude's position, he wouldn't trust him either. And nothing was going to happen until she trusted him again.

"But..." Kwest thought about what Jude had done after the staff meeting.

"But what?" Tommy leaned closer, hope in his eyes. "Come on, man. You've thought of something, I can see it."

Kwest grimaced. "She does trust you - at least a little," he qualified. "She let us tell you about Paegan. It's a big secret that could ruin the studio, and she trusts you not to say anything."

Tommy deflated. "Yeah, but that's business. It's not the same."

"It's _her_ business. Her livelihood. And Jamie's and mine and Sadie's. Not to mention everyone else who works here and all the artists. It's huge, T. This place is... it's everything to her." Trusting Tommy with the truth was significant, and Kwest didn't want him to ignore it. "And she firmly believes you won't quit and go to G-Major. So on some level, she does still trust you."

It wasn't what Tommy was looking for, but he'd take anything he could get at this point. "But how do I use it? I mean, how do I build on it?"

"Every day you keep your mouth shut, and every day you come into work. You prove to her she was right to trust you." Kwest leveled his gaze on Tommy. "Don't disappoint her."

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Friday night, Jude quickly realized she was stuck in a restaurant with a self-centered narcissist. The photographer with the great butt, knew he had a great butt. He also knew he was handsome and charming, and women loved his long hair. He thought he should be the de-facto photographer for EastPhy because he obviously took the best pictures in Toronto. He went on and on about himself, never once asking Jude any questions about her life or her interests. The paparazzi caught up with them as they left the restaurant and Jude's first reaction was to duck her head and escape as quickly as possible. Not Jerrod. He stopped and pulled her close, his hand resting proprietarily on her hip as the lightbulb flashed. Jude was seething by the time he escorted her to her car, and when he suggested he follow her home, leering at her as he said it, Jude knew she'd had enough. The cameras were still there and she didn't want to make a scene, so she discreetly grabbed the hand that was still gripping her hip - the bastard - and bent his fingers backwards, whispering in his ear that if he didn't want them broken, he'd walk away quietly. He took a step back, and Jude released him with a smile on her face. Then she jumped in her car and headed home.

Lunch the next day went much better. Henry was a nice guy with a good sense of humor and a memory for music and bands that almost rivaled Jamie's. Jude felt at ease with him, and the usual awkwardness of a first date quickly passed as they slipped into good conversation with tons of laughter. He asked Jude about her career, lightly touching on her singing, but focusing more on her songwriting and producing. For that alone, Jude could love him. But as lunch wore on, she got more of a friend vibe from Henry than anything else, which was sort of depressing. He must have sensed it too, because at one point he flat out asked, "So, friends?" Jude nodded and they laughed about that too. At the end of their date, Henry walked her to her car and politely kissed her on the cheek like the true gentleman he was. He suggested a movie or dinner the follow week, and Jude said she'd call him as soon as she checked her schedule.

Neither date had gone as she'd hoped, but she did come out of it with a new friend. That was more than she'd gotten out of most first dates, so the weekend wasn't a total loss.

Jude dutifully called Sadie to report in. She told her sister about the disaster with Jerrod, leaving out the hand on her hip, because she knew Sadie would tell Kwest and then it would turn into 'a thing'. She also grudgingly admitted to herself she didn't want Quincy to find out either. Although she didn't trust him, she knew she could rely on him to be just as protective as Kwest. And the two of them together would do something boneheaded, which would only make the situation worse Better to keep her mouth shut. After Sadie commiserated with her about the idiot photographer, they chatted about the good date she had with Henry.

Late Sunday afternoon, Jude picked up the phone to call Mason. Although he was an EastPhy artist, Jamie had worked out a deal for Mason to record with a small studio in Montreal that handled country performers. None of the producers at EastPhy were experienced enough with country music to give him the support and direction he needed. Jude missed him like crazy, but she knew it was best for his career. She refused to lose touch with him though, and she called him all the time. He was the only person she'd given a detailed account of her Monday conversation with Tommy. Mason never judged her; one of her favorite things about him.

"Two calls in one week. You're spoiling me, Harrison," Mason said in leu of a greeting.

Jude laughed as she tucked her feet under her on the sofa. "But I have so much to tell you! I couldn't wait. How ya doing, cowboy?"

"Moseying along." Mason had been living in Montreal for over a year, but he still considered Toronto his home and Jude his touchstone. He could never replace the relationship they'd developed. "You sound delightfully happy. Did Tommy corner you in a dark studio and ravage you senseless?"

Jude groaned. Why did she tell Mason about her dreams? He was never going to let her live them down. "No ravaging. I told you, Quincy is no longer part of my life. Besides work. But... I did have two dates this weekend."

"Two dates?" Mason's voice grew wistful. "My little caterpillar has transformed into a beautiful social butterfly."

"Cut the crap," Jude said around her laughter. "Do you want to hear about my dates or not?"

Mason grew serious, sorta. His voice dropped down to a serious tone that was obviously fake. "I'm listening."

Jude ignored it. "Friday night, I went out with a photographer. And before you say it, don't. I already got the whole '_photographer!_' thing from Lyndsey. He asked, I said yes, end of story."

Mason hated to burst her bubble, but... "I already saw the pictures. They were in the tabloids. He looked... interesting. Not your usual type, though." Too many muscles was the first thing Mason thought. He knew Jude liked guys who kept in shape, but this one looked like he lived at the gym. And a photographer? No, not Jude's style.

"He wasn't interesting; he was horrible! He talked about himself all night. He made me pose for the press. And on top of everything else, he was handsy." Jude shivered at the thought of his hand digging into her hip. "Yuck!"

"Define handsy," Mason said with a note of irritation.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Jude assured him. What was he going to do from Montreal anyway? "I threatened to break his fingers if he didn't get them off me. It worked quite well."

Handsy, Mason thought. Who could he sneak that piece of information to? No one touched Jude and got away with it, not since the asshole in Barry. He'd have to think about it. "No second date possibility. Got it. What about the other guy?"

"Actually, he was really nice. Henry Chambers, he manages the Vinyl Palace. But we both realized romance wasn't in the cards. Destined to be friends." Jude pouted and her tone was whiny as she asked, "Why can't I find a nice guy to date? All the nice guys in my life end up friends."

"And the not so nice ones tell you they love you." Mason sympathized, but the answer was obvious. "Jude, has it occurred to you, you're drawn to the not so nice guys? They're the ones that get your motor running. Nice guys bore you. If they didn't, you'd still be with Jamie."

"Well, that's a hell of a thing to say!" Jude was so angry, she practically spit over the phone. "You think I want a guy who treats me like crap? If that's what I wanted, I'd go out with Jerrod again." So much for Mason not judging her.

Oh, boy. Her defensive were up. Mason back-peddled and spoke softly. "I don't think you want a guy who treats you like crap. Your self-esteem is too well developed for that. But I think you like a challenge, and most nice guys aren't enough of a challenge for you. You need someone who keeps you on your toes. Someone with an edge. Someone who's fast and tricky. But who loves you beyond words. Someone like..." Mason smartly let the sentence trail off.

"Don't _even_ go there," Jude said, acid in her voice.

"Not him, but someone _like_ him." Whatever was going on between her and Quincy, Mason didn't want any part of it. Jude _said_ it was finally over, but Mason knew Quincy had come back from the dead before. You never really knew with those two. "You've got relationship whiplash. Every time Quincy pisses you off, you go out and find his exact opposite. And you're never going to be happy with his exact opposite because... well, that's not your type. Admit it, you like the bad boys," Mason ended with a smirk.

"You suck. You really, really, really suck." Jude flounced around on her couch, not angry anymore, just extremely annoyed. Jamie, Spied, the other guys she'd dated over the past few years, now she could add Henry to the list. All nice guys. Damn Mason and his damn perceptiveness. "I hate you sometimes."

"You love me and you know it." Mason chuckled as he heard her sigh heavily. "You're a good girl who likes bad boys. You're not the first, and you won't be the last. Stop fighting it. Go out and find someone who revs your motor. If nothing else, at least you'll have fun for a change."

Revs her motor. Like _that_ was so easy to find. Tommy revered her motor, but she couldn't do anything about it, because it would be too damn complicated afterwards. And the only other motor rever she'd met... Jude smiled at the memory. Okay, actually, he _had_ been fun. But that wasn't the point. "Bad boys don't stick around, and they cause too much trouble. They're bad boys for a reason. They have issues, and I want my next relationship to be issue-free."

Mason barked out a laugh at Jude's naiveté. "Jude, no relationship is issue-free."

--- TBC

_Sweet Euphoria - Chris Cornell_


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Two Points for Honesty**

Jude looked through the side window next to her front door, more than surprised to see Quincy standing on the stoop. She pulled back from the window and frowned. He'd stared at her all through the staff meeting that morning, which was unnerving, and she'd been waiting for him to approach her all day, but he'd kept his distance. Once she left work, she figured she was safe, but obviously she'd been wrong. He decided to ambush her at home instead. Well, he'd seen her looking at him. No way she act like she wasn't there. She wiped her face clean of all expression as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

Tommy shuffled his feet, rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you." He'd thought about her all weekend, which wasn't unusually, most days he thought about Jude. But after last weeks conversation with her, and the one with Kwest, and the tabloid pictures of her with the photographer, his thinking was at a fevered pitch. He realized he'd talked to her, but he hadn't told her very much. Maybe if he explained more, she'd... No, she wouldn't forgive me, that would be asking too much, but maybe she'd be more open to his attempts to earn her trust. At this point, he didn't have anything to lose. "Can I come in?"

Jude bit her bottom lip while her mind whirled. Over his shoulder she noted two men with cameras across the street, already snapping pictures. She could imagine what the tabloids would make off the situation. It was ten o'clock, she was in her pyjamas and Tommy was visiting her. He wanted to talk, which was code for 'we're going to argue again', and whether they did that inside the house or in the open doorway, there'd be more speculation about the nature of their relationship. If she wasn't going to talk to him at all, she shouldn't have opened the door in the first place. What to do? What to do?

It was Rocky who took the decision out of her hands. He'd been the first to the door when the bell rang and he'd been excitedly peaking around her legs to see who was there. He recognized Tommy and must have decided Jude was taking too long letting in his friend, because he surged past her and out the door. Luckily, Tommy caught him before he could escape. He grabbed the dog's collar and walked him back inside the house. While Jude closed the door with a heavy sigh, Tommy hunched over to ruffle Rocky's fur and scratch behind his ears. "Hey, buddy. I missed you last week." Rocky leaned into Tommy, almost knocking him over. Tommy laughed as he looked up at Jude. "I thought you always brought him with you to the studio?"

"Not always," she said, an annoyed edge to her voice. "He was at daycare." Tommy quirked an eyebrow. Jude hated explaining this part. Most people thought she was nuts. Her dad loved to tell her it was a waste of money. "Doggy daycare. He gets to run around and play with other dogs all day. It's good exercise for him and the vet says it's good for his socialization. He's a high energy dog. He needs to get that out, and it won't happen if he's trapped in a studio with me. Why are you here?" she finished impatiently.

Tommy straightened. "I told you, I wanted to talk." Jude continued to stare at him, her arms crossed in front of her, her foot lightly tapping on the wood floor. Impatient and agitated. Not that he'd expected any less. "Can we sit or something?" Her eyes narrowed for a second, then she walked from the foyer to the kitchen, her back ramrod straight. Tommy trailed behind her, Rocky at his side.

Once they were in the kitchen, Jude turned abruptly. "I've got tea, lemonade, soda, water, wine or beer." She _had_ let him in. The tiniest bit of hospitality wouldn't kill her.

"Soda, please, if it's not diet." Tommy sat down at the kitchen table and watched her maneuver around the room. She was adorable. She was barefoot and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing a black t-shirt about two sizes to big for her and a pair of black boxers decorated with little pink hearts and white skull-and-crossbones. He also realized she didn't have on a bra, but he did his best to push that observation from his mind.

Jude set the glass of soda in front of him, then backed away and leaned against the counter, putting as much distance between them as the kitchen would allow. "So say whatever it is you need to say and then..." She waved vaguely towards the door. She wasn't angry with him, she just didn't want to be around him. She didn't see the need for another conversation about the same topic, especially when it had already been settled.

For a minute, Tommy toyed with the glass in front of him. Now that he was actually in the same room with Jude, he wasn't sure where to begin. The speech he'd practiced in the car flew clear out of his head. He glanced over at her. "If I'd come home after Asia, do you think we could have made it work?"

It wasn't at all what Jude expected, so the question took her off guard. "I don't know," she answered honestly, relaxing a little. "For a while I thought so, but... what would have changed? You are who you are, and I realize now that most of what you do, I don't like. Someone else might be able to handle it, but not me."

Tommy slowly nodded, let the information sink in before responding. "We connected in the studio, but outside of it, we were a mess."

"Yes." He might actually be listening this time, so Jude took a chance. "It was a bad situation, I understand that now. And the things I used to blame you for, I don't anymore. I was under-aged and you were my producer. There was nothing you could do." She pushed away from the counter. "But you... the things you did to put distance between us, they hurt. They still hurt. And what happened later... after I turned eighteen. Those things hurt worse, because there was no excuse, no explanation. You just... you continued to push me away."

Tommy stared intently into the glass, guilt settling around him. "I should have told you about Hunter."

"You should told me about Hunter, about Angie, about the accident." Jude began to pace and to twist the empty space on her ring finger, the space her star ring used to occupy. It was a old habit she thought she'd broken years ago. "You should have told me a lot of things, but you left me completely in the dark. You were never honest with me, and that's what hurt the most."

Tommy knew this was his opportunity. It wasn't the reason he was there, but now that the topic had come up, he was going to take advantage of it. "What do you want to know?"

Jude abruptly stopped. She swung around to look at him "What?"

Tommy did his best to hide the smile threatening to escape. He knew the casual question had confused her. "Do you want to know about Angie? About all of it? I'll tell you."

"It's a little late now," Jude scoffed.

"Is it? I don't think so." There was no reason to hide what he was doing. If Jude wanted honesty, Tommy would give her honesty. "Asking you for another chance was incredibly naive of me. After everything that's happened, if I want something from you, I need to earn it. So, this is me opening up to you. No pressure. No expectations. I just want to show you I've changed." He motioned to the chair across from him. "If you want to know about Angie, I'll tell you."

It was a dirty trick - low and vile. And Jude knew she was going to fall for it. Kwest had only given her a vague impression of Angie, and he refuse to tell her any details about the relationship. But he had shown her a picture. A cute petite brunette perched on Tommy's lap, with a little cupid bow mouth and dark wide-set eyes. Jude slowly sank down onto the kitchen chair, upset with herself for her overwhelming curiosity. "This doesn't change anything. I still don't trust you."

"I'm going to prove you're wrong about me, Jude. I _have_ changed." Tommy saw her eyes narrow, and hurried on before she could argue. "I met Hunter first. He was a roadie for the last BoyzAttack tour. We had a lot in common; we both liked getting into trouble." Jude snorted, but Tommy ignored. "When the tour was over, we still hung-out, and eventually he introduced me to his little sister, Angie. She was seventeen and had the face of an angel. Unfortunately, she had the heart of a devil. Hunter was bad, but Angie could be worse." Tommy stopped. "You said Kwest told you about her. What did he say?"

If Tommy had asked before, Jude might have avoided the question, thinking he was probing to see how he should spin the story, but his brief description of Angie pretty well matched up with what Kwest had already told her. "The term he used was wild-child. He said she liked to live on the edge. He said she... had a talent for causing trouble."

Tommy barked out a laugh. "That's putting it mildly." He let his mind drift back to the past. "When we were dating, Ang's favorite game was 'make Tommy jealous'. She loved to make me jealous, loved to watch me fight over her. I don't think a week went by that I didn't punch someone for putting his hands on her. And she'd laugh. I'd be pummeling this guy, and she'd stand there and laugh. And then later we'd fight about it, and..." Tommy dropped his eyes from Jude's. "Angry sex was a favorite of hers too."

Jude thought that might be too much information, but she had to admit he wasn't holding back. "All of this went on the month you were married to Portia?"

"It started before I married Portia." Tommy saw the confusion on Jude's face again. "Angie and I dated for six months before I got married. We broke-up because I caught her in bed with another guy. The flirting I could handle, but not the cheating. And then Portia and I... We'd known each other for three years, dated off and on. Darius hated us being together and I think that's probably why I dated her. After Angie, Portia and I got close again, and when she brought up marriage, I jumped into it. Another in a long line of bad decisions. Portia knew about Ang, knew what had happened. She used the situation to get what she wanted. I'm not saying it was all her fault; I know I'm responsible too. We had no business getting married."

Jude reached over and grabbed Tommy's soda. She took a sip while her mind processed what he told her. "You married Portia to hurt Angie like she'd hurt you. You married Portia out of spite."

"I was eighteen and I was stupid, but yeah, that's exactly what I did." Tommy knew how the situation made him look, but it was what happened. He didn't want to lie to Jude about it. "When Angie found out, she was furious. She thought I'd calm down about the cheating and eventually come back to her. As far as she was concerned I was still hers. And I did still love her. I could say it was complicated, but it wasn't. I left Angie for cheating on me, and then I cheated on Portia with her." Tommy closed his eyes for a moment. It was all bad, so, so bad. He opened his eyes and continued. "Angie wanted me to leave Portia and when I didn't immediately do it, she went to Portia and told her what was going on. When Darius found out, he threatened to kick me out of the group if I didn't end the affair. I was already thinking about leaving, but BoyzAttack was all I'd known for so long... Being Little Tommy Q was... I didn't know what to do; I was scared. So I told Angie it was over - really over. I wasn't leaving Portia; I wasn't running away with her. That's when she took the my car keys, and you know the rest."

They sat in silence for several minutes, Tommy doing his best to keep his emotions in check. He hated what he'd done - to Angie, to Portia, to himself. Jude was trying to be calm too. She'd wanted the truth, but she could easily see why Tommy never wanted to tell her. It was an awful story. "Where was Hunter? Why did it take him so long to come after you?"

"Drugs," Tommy said flatly. "He'd been dealing and he got busted. He was in jail when Angie died." Tommy leaned forward, his voice earnest. "I didn't know about the drugs, Jude. I swear, I didn't know. I knew he smoked pot, but I didn't know he was dealing and I didn't know about the harder stuff. I drunk, but drugs were never my thing, and if I'd know what he was doing, what he'd gotten Angie into, I would have put a stop to it."

"What he got Angie into?" Jude tilted her head. She was missing something. "She was...?"

"One of the reasons the crash was ruled accidental was because they found cocaine in Angie's system. Whatever she was doing, she kept it a secret from me. She knew how I felt about drugs, and she made sure I never found out she was using." If Tommy knew she was using at all, he probably wouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place.

"So explain to me why you were in love with this girl? Because this doesn't make any sense. What you're telling me... How could you..." Jude shook her head in astonishment. "I don't get it."

Tommy understood. So far, he hadn't painted a pretty picture of Angie. "Ang was the first woman to look at me and see me, not Little Tommy Q. She didn't care about all the other crap - the image Darius created, the whole boy band thing, the tabloid reputation. None of that mattered to her. It was... nice. Different. Appealing. She was crazy and we fought constantly, but she also made me laugh like no one else could. She lived ever moment to the fullest, never worried about the consequences. Maybe it wasn't the best way to live, but it was amazing to watch. The passion she brought to everything she did was incredible. And she played piano beautifully. She took lessons for ten years and she loved Rachmaninoff. The power in his pieces, the emotion. When her fingers touched the keys, it was... it was magic." In a far corner of Tommy's mind, he could still hear her playing. "She had her own way of doing things, but she wasn't a bad person, not really. She was just... Angie."

Jude reached across the table and laid her hand on top of Tommy's. She gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze and she smiled at him. A kind, understanding smile. "You really did love her."

Tommy turned his hand under Jude's and entwined their fingers. "I don't know how long she'd being using drugs, and I don't know how much it influenced her behavior. I guess I should have seen it; maybe I didn't want to. But it doesn't change the fact that I loved her."

Jude looked at their hands. Maybe she should pull away, but now didn't seem the right time. "The stuff you said to me, to Jamie when Patsy died, this where it came from. Because of Angie."

Tommy smiled and nodded. "Patsy was a lot like her. There was no way anyone could have stopped either of them from doing what they wanted. They were both free-spirits." It was Tommy who slowly slipped his hand away from Jude's. "I left BoyzAttack a couple of months after she died. Darius and I fought over 'Frozen' and after everything else, I walked away. My biggest regret is not leaving when she asked me. If I had, she might still be alive."

"And you would probably be dead," Jude added quietly. "It wasn't an accident, remember? If she hadn't taken your car..." She let the sentence trail off.

"Yeah." Tommy didn't want to revisit that subject, not after his talk with Sadie. He stood suddenly. "It's getting late, I should get out of here."

Jude didn't argue. She stood and walked with him to the front door. Before he left and before she could think about it too much, she raised up on her toes and kissed Tommy's cheek. "Thank you for telling me about her."

"You're welcome," Tommy said, resisting the urge to pull her back and kiss her properly. He'd taken a solid step forward with Jude and he wasn't going to ruin it. "I'll see you tomorrow."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"We have a problem."

Jude looked over her shoulder and saw Sadie standing just inside the studio door. Her sister had one hand on her hip, the other was massaging her temple, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown, and worry lines creased the space between her forehead. _Christ! What now? _Jude thought. "Five minutes and we'll go for coffee."

Sadie quietly closed the door. "I'd rather talk to you in here, if you don't mind." Jude agreed, then went back to what she was doing while Sadie fidgeted behind her.

It took Jude closer to twenty minutes to finish working on the track. "Sorry," she said as she turned her chair to Sadie. "You're okay, right? You didn't find anything? This isn't medical? You're good?" Whatever was bothering her sister was _really_ bothering her, and Jude had to put the thought of cancer out of her mind.

Sadie smiled weakly. "I'm fine. It's not me." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she did her best to keep the smile in place. "I just got off the phone with mom. She's coming for a visit," she finished her voice falsely chipper.

Jude groaned and cringed at the same time. "Oh god, when?"

"Tomorrow," Sadie said her voice strained.

"Tomorrow?" Jude echoed, alarm in each syllable.

Finally, Sadie sat down. "Some big meeting at Don's firm. It was suppose to be a teleconference, but they decided at the last minute they want him in person. And there's a partner's dinner or something on Saturday. I was only half listening. All I know is they arrive tomorrow, and they don't leave until Monday."

It was all so typical of their mother. Jude tapped her fingers on the soundboard in annoyance. "A last minute, five day trip? And she just sprang it on you? I suppose she expects you to drop _everything_ because she's coming."

"Don't start, please." Sadie had enough on her mind right now. She wasn't up to fighting with Jude too. "I'm not any happier about this than you are, but what am I suppose to say to her?"

It was on the tip of Jude's tongue exactly what Sadie should say to their mother, but she didn't vocalize it. Sadie wouldn't do it anyway, and she looked like she as having a hard enough time without Jude adding her feelings about the matter to the mix. "I'm hosting a party on Saturday."

"I know, and they have the dinner, so that's not a problem. Trust me, of all the things I'm worried about, that is _extremely_ low on the list." Sadie continued to massage her temple. Oh, a massage. She was going to see if the spa had any massage appointments available for later in the afternoon. "You're going to flip-out, but I need you to think of this as favors for me, not for mom. Okay?"

Jude braced herself. "Spill."

Sadie counted off the favors she needed with her fingers. "Family dinner tomorrow night." Jude reluctantly nodded. "Brunch on Sunday." Jude rolled her eyes, but nodded again. "And I need you to invite her out with us on Friday."

And that's where Jude's agreeability ended. "I'm supposed to party like a rock star with my _mommy_ along? _Sooooo_ not gonna happen."

Sadie's voice was so tight it shook. "There'll be a ton of people with us, and you won't have to deal with her very much. You can escape to the dance floor or whatever. She'll see it as a night out with you, and it'll appease her. Just do it for me."

Jude studied her sister. There had to be more going on. In general, mom's visits were nerve-racking, but Sadie seemed to be more uptight than usual. "What's the real problem."

Sadie sagged in the chair. Now came the hard part. "We had a huge fight about Tom. She knows he's staying with us, and she said she wants him out of the house. Actually, what she said was she wants him out of _her_ house, which I find quite comical."

"Her house? Oh, that _is_ rich." Jude scoffed at the idea. Leave it to her mom to think she could dictate things in Sadie's house. "She sells it to dad, dad sells it to you, and it's still her house. I hope you told her to go take a flying leap."

Sadie began to rub her temples again. "Look, I know you don't understand why I put up with this crap, but one of us has to be more accepting, and it's definitely not going to be you. She's our mother. No matter what else happens, that's not going to change. I know she annoys you and she doesn't like what you do for a living, but it's not enough of a reason to cut her out of your life. You didn't like her decision to marry Don or to move to Italy, so I think you're even." Jude grumbled under her breath, but didn't argue. Sadie continued, the tightness back in her voice. "For nineteen years, mom did the best job she could. We weren't abused, physically or mentally. We were fed, clothed, loved and protected. This constant battle the two of you have going on is... well, it's sorta ridiculous, and I'm sick of being in the middle of it!"

Jude held up her hands in surrender. Sadie didn't get like this very often, but when she did, Jude didn't want to mess with her. "I already agreed to dinner, brunch, and I guess she's coming with us on Friday. What more do you want from me?"

Sadie crossed her fingers in her lap. This was it. This was the big one. "I want Tom to stay with you while mom's here."

"_What?!_" The one word bounded around the studio. "Are you nuts?! No way in _hell _is he staying in my house!"

Sadie was never more thankful for a sound proof room. She narrowed her eyes at Jude, giving off her best older sister vibe. "He's a guest in my house and he's Kwest's best friend. I don't feel right asking him to go to a hotel just because mom's being a bitch. But if he stays, she's going to be on his ass ever second or every day she's here. You have two guest rooms that have never been used, and I'd consider it a personal favor if you allowed him to stay in one of them for _five lousy days_. You keep telling me nothing's going on between the two of you, so I don't see why this is such a big deal!" Sadie took a deep breath and did her best to calm down. "And on a more vindictive note, that I'm sure will appeal to you, it would drive mom _crazy_." Sadie would rather hear about Jude 'shacking-up' with her 'boyfriend', then listen to her mother berate Tommy to his face. It would be less embarrassing.

Jude perked up at the thought. "It would, wouldn't it?" She smirked and laughed evilly.

Sadie rolled her eyes; her sister was so predictable. "I know you don't answer your phone while you're in the studio, but I bet you have a voicemail from mom. The stars must be aligned or something because one of her old friends finally emailed her the link to the _Talk National_ story. The first one when you and Tom had lunch together. And since she was looking, she also saw today's story with the lovely picture of you in your pyjamas opening your front door for him. To say she's upset, would be putting it mildly." Jude continued to laugh, which Sadie found truly annoying. "I just spent an hour getting yelled at, all because of _you_." She practically growled the last word.

Jude felt marginally guilty. When mom couldn't get a hold of her, she usually dumped her outrage on Sadie. And since Jude had perfected the art of avoiding her mother, Sadie got dumped on a lot. "So what's her problem now? I'm a big slut, right?"

The word had come-up, but Sadie wasn't going to confirm it. "I told her the tabloid was blowing it all out of proportion. That you had nothing to do with his divorce and the two of you weren't dating. I also told her it was my fault he was working here, which mollified her for a moment. The baby thing side-tracked her. But she's still _screaming_ mad. And I know we're both going to hear about it the entire time she's here." Sadie ran her hand through her hair and looked at Jude, her eyes pleading. "Can he stay with you or what?"

Jude had to admit she was feeling generous where Quincy was concerned. The conversation about Angie had been unexpected and enlightening. But that didn't mean she wanted him in her house for five days. On the other hand, it would _really_ make her mother mad and that was appealing. She weighed the two against each other. "The tabloids are going to have a field day with this."

"Since when do you care what they print?" If Sadie thought the papers would be a problem for Jude, she wouldn't ask, but tabloid stories didn't seem to affect her sister anymore.

Jude chewed on her bottom lip, while her mind played with the idea. The eventual tabloid story didn't really bother her. The more outrageous they were, the more humor she found in them. That mornings crop was a great example. One post on a gossip blog suggested Jude's oversized sleeping t-shirt was to cover her baby bump. Diana had emailed her the link. When Jude read it, she laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair, and then she immediately forwarded the link to everyone she knew. "Okay. He can stay. But he pisses me off once, and he's out the door. I have no problem kicking him to a hotel."

Sadie sighed with relief and clasped Jude's hands in hers. "Thank you, my wonderful sister. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

--- TBC

_Two Points for Honesty - Guster_

And now we have more information about Angie and Hunter. And Tommy is inching his way back into Jude's life. Progress, my friends, progress. Usually, I wait until I've finished with a chapter to title it, but I already decided on my next title - 'Let's Spend the Night Together'. Something to think about.

Review! Review! Review!


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Let's Spend the Night Together**

Sadie sat at the head of the table, Kwest and Jude on her left, Don and their mother on her right. Normally Kwest would have sat opposite her, but Sadie wanted him close to Jude, so he could restrain her if necessary. Sadie had the right idea.

Kwest clamped his hand over Jude's bouncing knee. She shot him a dirty look and in turn he smiled at her sweetly. She'd been in her mother's presence for fifteen minutes, and already Jude wanted to strangle her.

Victoria picked up her glass of wine, the sip she took a small reprieve from the on-going litany of Jude's latest sins.

After four years, Don finally figured out it was in his best interest to keep out of 'family' business. He continued to shovel food in his mouth and not make eye contact with anyone at the table while Victoria raged on-and-on.

Kwest or no Kwest, Jude was going to crawl across the table and smack her mother if the woman didn't _shut her trap_.

Sadie'd had enough too. From the minute mom walked in the door, all she'd talked about was the tabloid stories and Jude and Tommy. It was apparent she wasn't going to run out of things to say anytime soon.

Kwest tightened his hold on Jude and made a mental note to send his mother a dozen roses in the morning. Nothing made him appreciate her more than listening to his mother-in-law.

It was family dinner, and it sucked beyond the telling.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude leaned against the back door of her kitchen and screamed in the privacy of her own home.

Tommy heard her come in. He was making his way towards the kitchen when the howling started. He let out a low whistle, knowing exactly what had set Jude off, but he smiled as he walked through the archway. "So, how was dinner?" he asked, laughter tinging the question.

Jude pulled a bottle of wine out of the rack. "I didn't drink all night, because I knew the minute I took a sip, she was going to say something. So now, I'm going to drink this entire bottle by myself." She roughly twisted the corkscrew into the cork, then yanked it out. "That woman should be locked up for her own safety, because if I have to listen to her for another four days, I'm going to kill her." Jude took a glass out of the cupboard, resisting the urge to drink straight from the bottle.

Tommy grabbed a beer from the frig. He wouldn't mind sharing the wine with her, but he had the feeling if he touched the bottle, she'd break his fingers. "You want to tell me about it?"

Jude hesitated. Tommy looked like he was genuinely interested, but she'd stopped confiding in him a long time ago. After Monday night, she felt like she was walking a very fine line. She appreciated the fact he told her about Angie, knew how difficult it was to tell her the story, but one conversation didn't change years of secrecy. She didn't want to give him false hope. On the other hand he was asking and she needed to vent to someone. Jude jumped up on the counter, making sure the wine was close at hand. "She spent a good hour on you. The tabloids, the divorce, your reputation. Then I got to hear I was making the biggest mistake of my life getting back together with you, even though I told her, and Sadie told her, and even Kwest told her, that we weren't together. It was just the papers stirring up gossip. Then she spent, oh, another forty minutes on how I'd wasted all my money investing in EastPhy, and how I should go back to school to get a degree in something useful because being a producer wasn't a real career." The entire time Jude was talking, she'd been gulping wine. She refilled her empty glass. "The best part? She doesn't know you're staying with me yet. That, I'm sure, will be the topic of conversation Friday when we go out. Or if I'm _real_ lucky, she'll drop by the studio tomorrow to harass me about it."

The paparazzi took photos of Tommy walking in the house with his duffle bag, and since he wasn't leaving tonight, he knew the stories in the morning papers would set Victoria off, just as Jude anticipated. He had no idea why Jude was letting him stay, and he didn't want to question her too much for fear she's throw him out, but he felt guilty about the hell she was going to endure from her mother. "I can still go to a hotel."

"Oh, no you don't." Jude pointed at him, shaking her finger. "You, you are my _revenge_! Sadie might turn her house upside down for that woman, but I don't work like that. And I'll be _damned_ if she's going to dictate how I run my life. You are staying right where you are."

Tommy chuckled as he leaned against the counter next to Jude. "I know you were upset when she left, but I thought the two of you were passed it now."

"We were, for a while." Jude swirled the wine around in the glass, deep in thought. "We weren't as close as we used to be, but things had settled down. Ever since she found out I bought into EastPhy, she's been different though. She hates that I'm a producer, but the fact that Kwest is a producer doesn't seem to bother her. It doesn't make any sense." She finished her second glass and poured a third. "But then ever since I started making my owns decisions she hasn't been happy. I don't know why I let her bother me." Jude was done talking about her mom. She smiled at Tommy. "Are you all settled in?"

Tommy recognized an abrupt change in conversation. He didn't want to prod her about her mother, so he let it go. But he had to admit, he was curious. Jude wasn't telling him everything. "I even unpacked. I took the room with the windows facing the back yard. I hope that's alright."

Jude hunched forward, her arms resting on her legs, the wine cradled between her hands. "That room gets the late afternoon sun. As long as you don't sleep between four and seven, you should be fine. You got towels and everything else you need?"

Tommy nodded. "Yep. I found everything I need. You run a nice bed-and-breakfast, Harrison."

"I provide the bed, but the breakfast is your responsibility." The evening with her mother was slowly washing away and Jude was returning to normal. "I guess we should go over the house rules." Tommy motioned for her to continue. "Rocky's all me. You don't have to worry about feeding him. If you see him prancing around though, I'd appreciate it if you let him out back. Anything you find in the kitchen is free game; help yourself. You can use the washer and dryer too, if you need them. If you pull out a DVD or a CD, please put it back where you found it. There is a system in place, although it doesn't look like it. The alarm is always on, even when I'm home during the day, so check it before you open the door, and expect to reset it when you come in. No visitors. I don't want people I don't know trampling through my house. And the third floor is off limits - no exceptions."

Tommy already knew the last one. He'd never admit it to her, but earlier while she was at dinner, he'd taken a trip upstairs only to find Jude's bedroom door locked. It wasn't like he was going to riffle through her dresser drawers or anything; he wasn't that creeping. It was the fantasy about Jude in her bed that was still plaguing him. He really wanted to see that bed! "It's all pretty direct. And I wasn't planning on inviting anyone over. I'm not going out with other women, Jude."

'Other women'. Oh yeah, Jude picked up on it. She wanted to remind him that he wasn't going out with her either, but she wasn't up for a fight. Not even a minor skirmish. She'd used up all her energy with her mother. "One more thing. Don't answer the phone. I'm expecting my dad to call, and the last thing I need is you answering when he does."

"No phone privileges. Got it." Tommy dangled the beer bottle between his fingers. "So am I going to see you this week, or are you going to hide at the studio because I'm here?" Jude gave him a blank look. "It's a valid question. You've been effectively avoiding me for over a week. I don't want to run you out of your own house. I know you're only doing this as a favor for Sadie and Kwest. It's not like you want me here."

Jude took a healthy sip of wine before answering. "I wasn't avoiding you." Tommy snorted. "I've been busy, that's not the same as avoiding. And no, this little arrangement isn't something I'd think up on my own, but I don't _mind_ having you here." She nudged his shoulder. "You can be good company when you're not being an ass."

"Well, thanks a lot," Tommy said sarcastically. "You know, we could write something while I'm here." Jude groaned as he continued to talk. "It's a good opportunity to work on your music. Music's the one place where we've always connected."

Jude slid off the counter, shaking her head the entire time. "No music, no writing, no songs. No, no and no. Don't push your lucky, Quincy."

"I still don't understand why you won't start a new album." Tommy hovered over her as she picked up her bottle of wine, holding it tight to her chest. "You're just being stubborn."

Jude hurried out of the kitchen. "Leave me alone. Rocky, come on, bed time."

"One song. Just one song." Tommy was right on her heels.

Jude whimpered as she picked up her pace, almost at a run now, and headed for the stairs. "Go away!"

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"You're living with that, that _man_!" Victoria spat out.

Jude looked up from her computer. Oh goody; her mother was here. She sat back in her chair. "Hello, mom. How nice of you to visit me at work."

Victoria slapped a morning copy of _Talk National_ firmly on Jude's desk. "Tell me this isn't true! Tell me it's a mistake! Tell me you aren't this stupid!"

Jude glanced at the paper, but she'd already seen it. Jamie made sure of it. She told him the deal she made with Sadie on Tuesday, and she'd watched him bite his tongue in an attempt not to say exactly what her mother was saying now. Of course, that didn't stop him from showing her the paper the minute she walked in the door. Jude decided to play dumb and innocent. It rarely worked, but what the hell? "You told Sadie you didn't want him in the house, so he's staying with me while you're here. We were only trying to make you happy." She even batted her eyelashes for effect.

"Uh!" Victoria put her hands on her hips as she looked down her nose at her daughter. "You have done everything in your power to ruin your career. I can not _believe_ you intend to do the same to your personal life. My god, Jude, what are you thinking!"

Jude sighed while she crossed her arms in front of her, the pretense of innocence gone. "I haven't ruined my career. _This_ is my career. And if you took ten minutes to look around, you'd see I'm doing a damn good job. The business is thriving! We turned a profit in our second year, and we keep growing. Do you have any idea how unusual that is? Of course not, because you know nothing about the music industry and you wouldn't listen to me if I tried to explain."

Victoria ignored her as usual. "This is all your father's fault. He pushed you into this. Every since he bought you that first guitar, he's been pushing into this."

_Here we go again_, Jude thought. "Dad didn't push me into anything. You're the one who's pushing. I love music. I found a way to make money at something I love. Why can't you be happy for me? Even if you don't understand it, why can't you just be happy because I'm happy?"

"It isn't going to last, and you'll be left with _nothing_!" Victoria's cheeks flushed red from her anger. "You don't know what it's like, Jude, to wake up one morning to find the life you thought you had has been stripped away, and you're left with nothing! Absolutely nothing! And you have to start over again. You're young and you don't understand."

"This is about the divorce." Jude could kick herself for not seeing it sooner. In the end it always circled back to the divorce. "This isn't about me or my career. This is about you! Mom, you and dad are not the same thing as me and music. Music isn't going to cheat on me, and I'm not going to kick it out of the house. I understand where the two connect in your head, but you've got to let it go." Victoria's jaw remained clenched. "The divorce was awful, but you were 'left with nothing' for approximately one month, then you started dating your divorce lawyer, and then you married him. It's not exactly a tragic tale."

Victoria quickly pushed aside Jude's observations, not wasting a minute to ponder how spot-on they were. "This isn't about me, young lady. You make terrible decisions, and you give no thought to the future. What are you going to do when this business folds? How are you going to pay your bills?"

Jude resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It wasn't like she was living paycheck-to-paycheck. She could quit working all together and still live comfortably for the rest of her life. "Well, let's see, mom. My house is paid off, my car is paid off. I get quarterly royalty checks from G-Major for my album sales. I also write and publish music, which isn't dependent on EastPhy, and I make a damn good living doing it. So if this place fell apart tomorrow, financially I'd be fine."

Suddenly, Victoria shifted back to the reason she'd driven to the studio in the first place. "And what about this man? All of you keep telling me you're not involved with him, but he's living in your house. You're sister never should have insisted he work here. I understand she wants a baby, but there had to be a better alternative. He's... unseemly." She actually shivered when she said it. "And you have absolutely no control when he's around. You've demonstrated that on more than one occasion." She sucked in her breath. "You're probably _sleeping_ with him again, aren't you?"

"Again?" Jude's voice cracked over the word. "I don't know what you think happened between me and Quincy, but I've never slept with him."

Victoria huffed. "Don't lie to me, Jude. Your father might have ignored it, but I know something was going on between the two of you. I should have had that man arrested when you were seventeen."

What Jude wanted to say was 'a little hard to do when you ran away to Italy with your new husband', but she didn't. And she wasn't going to defend her past relationship with Tommy; she knew her mother wouldn't believe her anyway. "When did you turn into this?" Jude asked, genuinely concerned. "When did... this happen? You were never this judgmental when I was young. Quincy's got his issues, but he's not unseemly. He's just a guy. And he's staying with me only because you didn't want him at Sadie's house while you were there. He's moving back right after you leave. And even if I was sleeping with him, or living with him for that matter, I'm twenty-one years old. I'm not living under your roof and you're not paying my bills. What business is it of yours anyway?"

"I'm still your mother," Victoria answered. "Although right now, I'm ashamed to admit it. I saw all those stories. My _friends_ saw those stories! Do you have any idea the questions I have to answer? That producer of yours; you broke up his marriage. And then there was the photographer, and the club owner, and now your back to the producer. How many men _are_ you sleeping with, Jude? It wouldn't surprise me if you ended up pregnant and alone, not sure who the father is!"

Jude blinked. She wasn't prepared for the attack to turn so personal. There was a tickle in the back of her throat and she could feel tears starting to well up behind her eyes, but she tried to keep her tone even. "At some point in the future, if I found out I was pregnant, I'd consider it a blessing. Despite what you obviously think of me, I happen to be very particular about who I share my body with, so the father of my child, whether we were married or not, would be an amazing man." Jude stood up abruptly. "I have work to do. I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Jude didn't run out of her office, but she moved fairly quickly. So quickly and so determined to get away from her mother, she didn't see Tommy lingering near by.

Tommy had seen Victoria walk in - stalk in really. After the conversation with Jude the night before, he was curious to hear what the woman had to say, so he'd casually maneuvered until he was close to Jude's office. Victoria hadn't closed the door and he'd been able to hear everything. The part about work was overdone, but Jude had held her own. He was proud of the way she stood up to her mom. But when the attack turned personal, the venom in the accusations Victoria threw at her daughter astounded him. Tommy caught the hitch in Jude's voice during the last part of the conversation, and he was seconds away from intervening when she walked out.

He was two steps behind her as she made her way across the lobby and to her studio. He slapped his hand on the door, effectively stopping her from closing it on him. She turned, shocked to see him, and for a second, he thought she'd yell at him to leave. But instead she threw herself into his arms and burst into tears. Tommy easily caught her. He closed and locked the studio door, then settled Jude on his lap on the couch. "It's okay, girl. It's okay." He held her to me, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort.

Jude clung to him, needing all the support he was willing to give. She hated that she was crying at work. And the fact that it was caused by her own mother, disturbed her even more. How could her mom be so cruel? She buried her face deeper into Tommy's shoulder. "Why did she say those things?" her words partially muffled.

"I don't know, baby." Tommy gently kissed the top of her head, as his outrage for her mother grew. No one was allowed to make Jude cry like this. If he ever got a moment alone with Victoria... He'd never hit a woman, but there was a first time for everything. "But you were so strong and I'm so proud of you."

Jude tightened the hold she had around Tommy's neck. "She called me a whore! My own mother called me a whore!"

His anger raged, but Tommy kept his tone light. She didn't need to see his anger right now. "She didn't mean it." She damn well better not have meant it. "She was upset, but she didn't mean it."

"Yes she did!" Jude weeped uncontrollably. "She's ashamed of me! She _hates_ me!" Her voice broke over the word.

"She doesn't hate you." Tommy grasped her chin and gently forced Jude to tilt her face up to him. "No one could ever hate you, Jude. You're sweet, and kind, and loving. The tabloids... She was probably shocked by the stories, but deep down she doesn't believe them. She knows you're not that girl."

"But she does believe it," Jude whispered, her heartache evident in each word. "She believes all of it." Suddenly a new panic filled her eyes. "I didn't, Tommy! I swear! I didn't sleep with any of -"

"I know, baby." Tommy cut her off before she could finish. He wasn't going to listen to Jude deny accusations he already knew to be false. It was beneath her. The fact that Victoria raised Jude and could still question her character was unbelievable. He ran his thumb lightly down her cheek and smiled at her. "Like I said, you're not that girl." Jude returned the smile, although it was weak, then she laid her head back down on his shoulder.

She continued to cry, but the hysterical sobbing was over. Tommy held her, rocking her back and forth in his arms. He didn't know what Victoria's problem was, but he knew this had to stop. When Jude was finished crying, she would most likely make him promise not to tell anyone what had happened. He already knew he was going to break that promise. He was going to tell Sadie, and if Jude got mad at him, well, he'd deal with it later. Someone was going to protect her, whether she wanted it or not.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sadie was seething by the time she got home. Jude had left work early, and the minute she walked out, Tommy was knocking on Sadie's door. He told her, in full detail, what happened in Jude's office and the studio. Sadie wished she could say she didn't believe it, but it was so unbelievable, she knew it had to be true. She slammed the front door closed and bellowed into the house. "Mom! Where the _hell _are you?"

Victoria's voice came drifting in from the living room. "I'm in here. Is something wrong, honey?"

Sadie threw done her purse and her keys, and swiftly made her way to her mother. "You!" she said, all her disgust expressed in the one syllable. "Do you have any idea what you did today?"

Victoria tried to stand, but Sadie roughly pushed her back into the couch. "Sadie!" she said in outrage.

Sadie leaned over, her face centimeters from her mothers. "This ends now, mother. You are going to stop attacking Jude. I don't know what you're problem is, and I don't care, but this ends!"

Victoria huffed. "I don't know what your sister told you, but I didn't attack her. I'm upset with her decisions, but I didn't -"

"You reduced her to tears!" Sadie took a deep breath, fighting her own need to slap her mother. "You called her a whore!"

Victoria sat up straight. "I never said that!"

Sadie ran her hand through he hair, grabbing a handful at the back of her head. "You asked her how many men she was sleeping with, and then you said she was going to end up pregnant not knowing who the father was. That's calling her a whore!"

Victoria tried to act shocked, but guilt started creeping up on her. "I'm sure that's not what I said. You're sister - "

"That's _exactly_ what you said!" Sadie's entire body was shaking, her jaw was clenched. "Someone heard you, mother. Someone who was more than happy to repeat back to me word-for-word what you said. Don't try to deny it now."

Victoria paled. "Someone heard our conversation."

"Its a busy office, mom, and the door was open. I sure several people heard your conversation. One of them came to me." Sadie pointed her finger at her mother and stared her down. "Jude's put up with a lot of crap from you, and I've stayed out of it, but I'm done sitting on the sidelines. You are hurting her! Everything that comes out of your mouth is hurting her! What kind of mother are you?!" Sadie wondered how many times their mom had made similar comments, but Jude never told her. It would be just like her sister to keep the really awful stuff to herself.

"I'm a mother who's concerned for her daughter," Victoria said, once again trying to reach the moral high ground. "I did not raise either of you to be promiscuous, but it is obvious to me your sister has changed. Working in that... _business_. She thinks this is acceptable behavior now. You and your father let her get away with it, but I'm not going to. "

Sadie raised her eyes to the ceiling, needing a minute to calm down. "Mom, Jude is not sleeping around. Jude isn't sleeping with anyone. She doesn't party. She doesn't take drugs. And she's certainly not promiscuous. She had two dates last weekend, but those were the first dates she's had in months. She barely goes out. Hell, she's a frickin' hermit!"

"That man is living in her house." Victoria said pointedly.

"First, that man has a name, Tom Quincy. Second, he's only there because I asked Jude if he could stay. You were being such a _bitch_ about him being here, and I didn't want to listen to it for five days, so Jude's doing me a favor. It wasn't her idea." Hell, if her mother knew what Sadie had to do to get Jude to agree in the first place. "This is at least the fourth time I've explained that, and I know Jude told you the same thing today. Why do you think we're lying to you?"

"You sister has always been attracted to him. There was something going on between the two of them from the beginning. And now he's back." Victoria pointed up at her daughter. "Which is your fault!"

Sadie took a step back. Oh, no. Her mother was not going to turn this argument around on her. "Nothing is going on between Tom and Jude. Yeah, at one point she was in love with him, and truthfully, I wish it would have worked out, but that's not what's going on now. She got over him years ago." At least that's what Jude kept telling her. "And even if they were involved, Jude's not sixteen anymore. Why do you have such a problem with it?"

"He's going to hurt her. He's going to cheat on her. He's going to leave her. That's the type of man he is." Victoria crossed her arms in front of her, indignant once again. "I should know."

Sadie took a minute to study her mother. "None of this is about Jude. This is about you and dad," echoing Jude's earlier observation. "She's dad's favorite so you're punishing her? Is that what's going on in that twisted mind of yours? The deeper she gets involved in the music business, the more she's siding with him?" Victoria turned away, and Sadie exploded because she knew she was right. "Look at me, damn it!" She dropped down to her knees and forced her mother to meet her eyes. "This all started when out found out she was part owner of EastPhy. That's when you started getting vicious with her. You're mad because her and dad share a love for music. And you couldn't fluster her about the business, so you started attacking her personal life. You don't believe a damn thing you said to her today, do you? You just wanted to hurt her."

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When Tommy got home from work, he found Jude curled up on the couch watching a movie, a flannel throw wrapped tightly around her. Since the temperature in the house was a comfortable nineteen degrees celsius, he was guessing the throw had nothing to do with being cold. He leaned over the back of the couch, ruffled the top of her head. "How ya doing, girl?" he asked softly.

Jude smiled up at him briefly. "I'm good," she said, but she wasn't very convincing.

Tommy walked around to the front of the couch and sat down next to her. He was close, but not too close. He wasn't sure how she was going to react to him. She'd still been slightly upset when he ushered her from the office earlier, and she hadn't recovered enough to feel embarrassed about crying in his arms. He motioned to the empty ice cream carton on the coffee table. "You eat the whole pint of Ben & Jerry's by yourself?"

"I shared with Rocky." Jude scouted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She was embarrassed, but not because of what she'd done. Knowing Tommy heard her mother talk to her like that and talk about him like that, was the embarrassing part. But what he'd done for her after; she'd never be able to thank him enough. "I was going to make dinner, but I got lazy. You wanna order a pizza?"

Tommy lifted his arm to wrap around her, and Jude moved her head to his chest. He kept telling himself he wasn't going to take advantage of her. She was vulnerable and he was a decent guy. At least, when he wanted to be. "Pizza sounds good. You want me to order it now?"

"Only if you're hungry. The ice cream was the last of the junk food I've eaten since I've been home. I good for another couple hours." She snuggled up next to him, the side of her body pressed against his.

Tommy squeezed her shoulder. "And I had a late lunch, so were both fine." Okay, so he hadn't eaten at all, but ordering pizza meant moving from the couch, and he didn't want to move at the moment. "What are we watching? And is it at the beginning, the middle, or the end?"

Jude stopped the DVD. "Fifteen minutes into 'Underworld'. I'm planning a double feature with the sequel." She saw the blank look on his face. "Don't tell me you've never seen it."

Tommy shrugged. "Sorry."

Jude smiled again. "No, that's good. It's a vampire/werewolf movie. I've watched it like a hundred times. And if you've never seen it, then you won't be bored." She dropped her head, but looked up at him from under her eyelashes. "You want to watch it with me, don't you?"

Tommy's heart skipped a beat. He was going to be a decent guy if it killed him. In the long run, it would bring him closer to what he wanted - Jude back in his life on a permanent basis. "I'd love to watch it with you."

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They stretched out together on the couch, Tommy laying against the back, Jude curled up in front of him, his arm thrown over her waist like an anchor. After the pizza, and about half way through the second film, she'd fallen asleep. Tommy had no intentions of waking her.

He'd been the decent guy he'd promised himself he'd be. He hadn't made a pass at her. Hadn't brought up their past relationship, or made any moves toward a future relationship. But Jude was asleep and he was holding her; he couldn't help himself. He buried his nose in her neck, inhaling the smell of her shampoo and her perfume and the scent that was inherently Jude. He brushed her hair back from her face, and ran his finger tips softly across her skin. She was beautiful. He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

She was so brave earlier, standing up to her mother. Defending herself, her life, her decisions. So she cried, but who wouldn't after what she went through? He said he was proud of her, and he was. He knew she didn't want to crying in front of her mother, and it took a serious amount of control to keep it together until she found a place where it was safe to breakdown. He didn't know if he'd be able to accomplish it in a similar situation.

And Victoria. What was wrong with the woman? Attacking Jude the way she did. When Tommy told Sadie what happened, he swore her eyes practically glowed she was so mad. He had no doubt she'd gone home and straightened her mother out. Sadie was a pitbull when she was protecting someone she loved. But whatever Victoria got, Tommy firmly believed she deserved it. If he thought she'd listen to anything he had to say, he would have confronted her himself.

But he'd let Sadie confront her mother, and he'd comfort Jude. Which was a much better position to be in. He rubbed his nose across the bottom of her earlobe. "I love you, girl," he whispered. Then he laid his head on the pillow they shared and fell asleep too.

--- TBC

_Let's Spend the Night Together - The Rolling Stones_

So the title chapter was a tease. Sorry! I've made Victoria into a real piece of work, but she annoys me. Leaving like she did and then trying to sell the house out from under Sadie and Jude. What was that about? But the Vic tension did produce some Jommy sweetness, and I know that makes everyone happy. And Sadie got to yell too, which I always love.

Thank again for all the positive reviews!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have nothing. Please don't come and try to take nothing away from me.

Feedback: As always, appreciated.

**Friends, Lovers or Nothing**

Tommy felt something poking his shoulder. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, the morning light a bit too harsh. When he was finally able to focus, he saw a mug dangling in front of his face, a familiar hand attached to it. He turned, and there was Jude hovering over him from the back of the sofa. "Good morning!" she said brightly.

He sat up groggily as he took the mug from her. He sipped the coffee, prepared just the way he liked it - she hadn't forgotten. He made a half-hearted attempt to read the clock on the DVD player. "What time is it?"

Jude rested her hip on the sofa as she looked down at him. She was smiling, no trace of the devastation from the day before on her face. "A little after eight. I have to be in the office at eight-thirty, but I know you don't have to be there until ten, so I thought I'd let you sleep. It was the least I could do after what you did for me." When she first woke-up, Jude was confused as to what she was doing on the sofa with Tommy's arm draped over her. But then the memory of the previous day flooded back. It was disconcerting to realize she's been comforted by and protected by a man she continually professed not to trust. She'd been vulnerable and Tommy had taken care of her, not taken advantage of her. She wanted to snuggle closer to him, to cherish the warmth and security he provided, but if she was still there when he woke-up, it would raise too many questions. So instead, she'd slipped off the sofa, careful not to disturb him. At some point between getting dressed and finishing her make-up, she decided not to read anything into the situation. Tommy had always been a mystery to her. Over analyzing his behavior and her reaction to it had never helped her before and it wasn't going to help now. She'd made her decision and she was going to stick to it, but she also knew she needed to acknowledge what he'd done. "Before you ask, I'm fine. Recently someone told me sometimes you just need to cry it out. Thank you for supporting me while I did. I needed a friend and you were there for me. It means a lot."

Tommy noticed the slight inclination she used on the word friend and he easily got the hint. He didn't like it, but he accepted it. At least she was referring to him as a friend. It was a better place in her life than he'd been two days ago. Small steps, Quincy, he reminded himself. "There's no reason to thank me, girl. It's what I'm here for." He started to stand. "Give me ten minutes; I'll drive you to work."

Jude waved her hand. "No, no, stay. Finish your coffee, take a shower. There's no reason to rush." She brushed her hair behind her ears. "You don't have to play the white knight anymore. Yesterday was yesterday, but I'm good now."

Tommy eyed her suspiciously, taking in the smile on her face that was definitely reflected in her eyes and the ease of her body language. "Well, you seem to be okay."

"Because I am," Jude assured him again. She came around the front of the sofa to sit down next to him. "Seriously, Quincy, I am fine. Mom caught me off-guard, but I know in my heart that nothing she said was true. I'm a good person. I have good friends, a good career, a good life. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't have to live it either. As long as I'm in the music industry, she's not going to be happy, but that's her problem, not mine. It hurts, I'm not going to tell you it doesn't, but there's nothing I can do to change her opinion. I have to accept that and learn how to deal with it."

Jude's confidence was back, Tommy could see it, but he was still worried about her. "If I'm prying, tell me to butt-out. I won't be offended, I promise. But," he paused for a second, "does she say stuff like that to you all the time?"

"This is the worst it's ever been. She's never been so... aggressive before." Jude shook her head before resting her forehead against her fingertips, a slight smirk on her face. "The funny thing? I accept who she is. When she left, I was angry, but eventually I tried to look at the situation from her perspective. I wouldn't have done it, but I can see what made her do it. And I'm not angry about it anymore. I don't understand why she can't show me the same courtesy. I know she doesn't agree with my decisions, but if I'm happy, the least she could do is try to show a little support. I don't think that's asking too much."

Tommy nervously tapped his fingers against the side of the mug in anticipation of Jude's anger. He didn't want to ruin whatever progress he'd made with her, but he needed to be honest. "I told Sadie what happened." He glanced at her, then quickly looked away. "After you left, I went to her. I told her everything. I know you're probably mad, and you're going to say I had no right to tell her, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You got attacked by your own mother and I think your sister needed to know."

Usually if Jude left work unexpectedly, she'd get a phone call from Sadie. When her sister didn't call to check on her, Jude had wondered why. "I should be mad, I should be furious. But truthfully, you saved me from a very uncomfortable conversation. I don't want to see my mom right now. She's not going out with us tonight and there's no way I'm going to brunch on Sunday. Sadie would have wanted a real explanation, and I don't think I could repeat all the things mom said without breaking down again." She leaned her head against the back of the sofa. "Sadie knows we fight, but I've never told her the specifics. I didn't want her to get caught up in it. Didn't want to force her to choose sides."

"She deserves to know, Jude," Tommy said quietly, relieved she wasn't upset with him. "If anyone is forcing her to choose sides, it's your mom, not you."

"Doesn't make it any easier." Jude rolled her head to the side to look at him. "It's this weird dynamic, you know. Ever since the divorce. I'm still the youngest, but it's like mom is now the older sister and Sadie's become the middle child. Always stuck between us. Always trying to be the peacemaker. And it shouldn't be that way. It's not right. But Sades... she won't give up. She's determined, one way or another, we are going to be a family again. But I think it's too late. Mom's mom. She's never going to change."

-IS-

Jude expected to find her sister waiting for her when she got to work, and she wasn't disappointed. Sadie sat patiently in Jude's office sipping a latte. Once the door was closed and they were alone, she spoke. "You are officially released from all family obligations this weekend. Mom will not be coming with us tonight, and I don't expect to see you at brunch. Say thank you."

"Thank you. I was wondering how I was going to back out of that gracefully." Jude tossed her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk as she sat down. "Quincy said he told you everything, and if it's alright with you, I'd rather not rehash it. Yesterday I was crushed, but I'm feeling better and I'd like to get through today without tears."

They'd have to discuss it at length at some point, but for now Sadie was willing to let it go. As long as Jude was okay, Sadie would let it slide. "I'll tell you what I told mom, and then we'll consider the discussion closed?" Jude nodded in agreement and Sadie took a deep breath before continuing. " I told her she could stay in the house until Monday, but she won't be welcome back until she works things out with you. If she can't let go of her anger, then I don't want her in our lives anymore. She can't attack you and think it doesn't effect my relationship with her, because it does."

It was exactly what Jude didn't want. She felt her internal calm slowly slipping away. "Sadie, please don't do this. I love you for sticking up for me, but I know... I know your relationship with mom is important to you. Don't sacrifice that for me. I'm afraid you'll end up hating me for it."

Sadie shook her head. "No, Jude, no. When I needed you, when I _really_ needed you, you were there for me. You put your life on hold, and you were _there_ for me. You got me through the first doctor's appointment, and through surgery, and through radiation. I couldn't have done any of it without your support. And right now you need my support. Mom has to realize the way she treats you is completely unacceptable, and I'm not going to ignore it anymore. I discussed it with Kwest and he agrees with me. You are not forcing me to sacrifice anything." Sadie leaned over and grasped Jude's hand with her own. "We're the Harrison sisters and we stick together."

A tear slid down Jude's cheek, but it was a happy tear, so it was okay. She brushed it aside with her free hand. "I love you, Sades."

"I love you too." Sadie gave Jude's hand a quick squeeze, then released it as she sat back in her chair. "Once things cool down, I think all of us should sit down to talk. Not just me, you and mom. Kwest too. And Don. Maybe even Jamie."

"Jamie?" Jude asked, actually surprised.

"He's a good mediator," Sadie said simply. "You've seen him around here. The way he referees arguments between department heads, between artists. Usually I'm good at this stuff, but when it comes to mom, I cave. You and I both know that. You're the one who calls her on her crap. Last night was the first time in a long time that I stood up to her. And Jamie will keep you calm. You don't have to decide right now, just think about it." In a couple of weeks, Sadie would broach the subject again, but for now, dropping the idea into Jude's head was all she needed. "I also called dad last night, so he knows what's going on too." Sadie smiled. "I thought he was going to come right through the phone and choke her. He was livid. He asked if I thought he should call you and I told him to give you a couple of days. That you were pretty fried. He said to tell you he loves you and he'll talk to you this weekend."

Jude dropped her head into her hand. "He's not mad about Quincy, is he?"

"Tom?" Sadie asked, a little confused, and then the light bulb went off. "You mean the stuff in tabloids? No! Like I said, I told him what was going on. I told him everything that's been going on. He thought it was stretching the bonds of sisterhood for me to ask you to shelter Tommy while mom was in town, but that's all he said. Dad never believes any of that crap."

"Good," Jude sighed in relief. "I didn't want to get into it with him too. I think I've had enough parental drama this week."

Sadie pursed her lips. "This is dad we're talking about. The parent who respects our decisions. Besides, you and I both know Tommy redeemed himself in dad's eyes when he got your catalog away from G-Major. He's a little more tolerant now when the subject of Tom Quincy comes up."

Jude had to chuckle. "Yeah, dad's not exactly anti-Quincy anymore." When she showed her dad the contract that reverted the ownership rites of all her songs back to her, Stuart could have happily kissed Tommy's feet. He said that some artists work their entire careers trying to get back what they'd been forced to give away for a shot in the industry, and for most, it never happened. At seventeen, Jude had total control over where and how her songs were used. It was an amazing gift.

A slow smile spread across Sadie's face and her eyes began to sparkle. "Now that we've settled that, explain to me exactly how you ended up crying on his shoulder. I didn't think he was your go-to guy anymore."

Jude caught the teasing in her sister's words and knew things were back to normal. She relaxed in her seat, started shuffling paperwork around her desk. "He's not, but he heard what mom said and followed me into the studio. I didn't choose him. He just... sorta... happened to be there," she ended with a shrug, trying to play it off like it was no big deal.

But Sadie knew her sister, and she wasn't stupid. Tommy was able to comfort Jude because Jude let him do it. It wasn't an accident. "So it could have been anyone? Mike the cleaning guy, for instance."

"Well, yeah, it could have been, if Mike had spotted me first." Jude wagged a finger in her sister's face, knowing exactly where the discussion was going and determined to head it off. "Stop with the fishing expedition. Quincy was there, he was extremely sweet to me, and I am grateful, but don't get any ideas. We're friends, nothing more."

Sadie's arched an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're friends now?"

"Get out of my office." Jude pointed towards the door. "Go! I have work to do and you're bothering me." Sadie left, but her laughter trailed behind her.

-IS-

Tommy caught glimpses of Jude throughout the morning, but he didn't get a chance to talk to her. Sadie peaked in the studio a little after noon, giving him a hug and a thank you for taking care of her sister, with Kwest following soon behind offering to buy him lunch. The guys talked about the turmoil between the three women, Kwest having much more to say about what he called Victoria's 'bat-shit crazy behavior'. Tommy had laughed at the description, but thought it was accurate. Later in the day, when he had a free moment, he searched for Jude, but she'd already left the office.

"Honey, I'm home," Tommy quipped as he dropped his keys on the kitchen counter, closing the back door behind him and resetting the alarm.

"And how was your day, dear?" Jude called from the living room, playing along.

Tommy followed the sound of her voice. She was bent over slightly, fiddling with the CD player, but straightened when she heard him approach. As he turned the corner, he abruptly stopped, the air rushing out of his lungs. Holy-moly. His eyes raked over every inch of her. She was dressed in electric blue, her skirt a little too short, her top a little too revealing. And the shoes... Well, there was only one term to describe them, but he was sure if he commented on her come-fuck-me heels, she slap him across the face. Still, there was no deny it - Jude was hot. "This is a different look for you," he said when he recovered enough to talk.

Jude frowned, looking down at her outfit. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good," Tommy quickly assured her as amazing and explicit images flashed across his brain. Jude, naked, except for the shoes... He smirked. "Definitely good."

Not having a clue what was going through Tommy's mind, Jude playfully hit him on the shoulder. "This is my paparazzi friendly, partying rock star outfit. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

"That's not the only people it's friendly towards," he said as he flipped up the edge of the flirty skirt, his fingers itching to slide up her legs and dig into her hips. "Are you wearing underwear?"

"No touching," she said as she batted his hand away. "And of course I'm wearing underwear! My god, Quincy. Since when have you ever known me to walk out of the house without underwear?" Tommy only shrugged in response. "That's all I need. Pictures of my business splashed on the front page of T_alk National_. Change of topic. You. Upstairs. Now."

Tommy shook his head, his mind having a difficult time switching gears that fast. "Excuse me?"

Jude took his arm, steering him out of the living room and towards the stairs. "This is a girls night. No boys. You are banished to your room."

Tommy looked over his shoulder as she prodded him forward. "Hello. Just walked in the door. Can I at least relax for a minute? Maybe get something to eat?"

"Relax in your room." Jude gave him one more good push. "The girls will be here soon. And then we'll be gone, and you'll have the house all to yourself. You can eat then."

"Damn, you're bossy," he said as he reluctantly climbed the stairs.

"I've already fed Rocky," Jude called from behind him, "but he'll need to go out at least one more time tonight. And could you leave the door to your room open for him when you go to bed? If I'm not back by then, he'll probably want to sleep with you."

Tommy stopped when he reached the landing. "Anything else?" he asked, a touch of annoyance in his voice.

"No." Jude smiled sweetly up at him. "I think that's it. Have a good night."

-IS-

When Tommy stepped out of the bathroom, he could hear the sound of laughter filtering up from the first floor. They haven't left yet, he thought, and a wicked smile crossed his face. He wasn't thrilled with the high-handed way Jude had acted early, or the way she'd conveniently left him with dog sitting duty. Not that he minded taking care of Rocky, but still. She could have asked. And the cold shower he'd taken had done nothing to relieve his raging hormones. Maybe it was time for a little payback.

Diana was the first one to spot him coming around the corner. "Fuck me," she said under her breath.

The rest of the group turned to see what had garnered such a reaction from her. All of them stopped short at the sight in front of them. Tommy stood in the doorframe. His hair had that fresh-from-the-shower, tousled sexy look. He was shirtless and barefoot, his sweats road low on his hips, making it obvious he was wearing nothing underneath them. He grinned mischievously at Jude. "Sorry, I thought you'd be gone by now. I just came down for a bite."

"I'll bite him," Kristen, who worked in the Marketing department, mumbled. The woman next to her nodded in agreement.

Jude let out an agitated sigh. Like she believed he didn't know they were still in the house. "Kitchen's that way," she pointed meaningfully.

"Have fun tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Tommy waved to the group, gave Jude another smile, then disappeared into the other room.

As soon as he was gone, Bernadette from Finance looked at Jude, shaking her head. "How can you stand it? That man is gorgeous. If he was living in my house, I'd be all over him."

Jude remembered Kat once calling Tommy an Orlando Bloom sundae covered in Johnny Depp sauce. "The novelty wears off. Trust me." But to herself, she had to admit, he did look damn good. She wasn't sure when he had time to go to the gym, but you didn't get a body like that unless you worked out. A lot.

Kristen strained her neck, trying to get another peak. "It was bad enough working with him before. Now I have that in my brain."

Lyndsey opened her mouth, but Diana pinched her - hard. Lyndsey shot daggers at her sister, but remained silent.

Jude was trying hard to hide her own fascination, but Sadie knew her sister better than the rest of them did. And she knew Tommy well enough to know he'd planned the whole thing. She wondered how long either of them would be able to resist temptation. "If we don't leave soon, we're going to be late," she reminded everyone.

Jude cleared her throat, forced herself to not think about the line of hair running down his well-toned abs. Damn. No wonder they called it a happy trail. Look where it led. "Yeah, we don't want to keep the others waiting." She set her wineglass on the coffee table as she stood. "Leave the glasses here. I'll clean-up when I get home."

Bernadette stared up at her, the picture of innocence. "Are you sure? Because I can help you take them into the kitchen now."

The group laughed, but Jude just shook her head. "Don't encourage him. He already thinks he's god's gift to women."

"Really?" Kristen asked, hope in her eyes. "Because I've been very good this year and he would make an outstanding Christmas present. Could you wrap him up, maybe with a big red bow?"

Jude gently, but purposely led the group out the front door. Quincy was going to pay for that. She'd make sure of it. Just as soon as she could stop picturing him naked.

- TBC

_Friends, Lovers or Nothing - John Mayer_


End file.
